Ian's Smile
by hbub1201
Summary: Mickey and Ian finally talk about West Point, even if the whole Gallagher family are there to hear it. As it turns out - thats just the beginning! Sorry about the constant flicking between past/present tense, I'm a newbie. Rated M for language (Just to be on the safe side) Ian/Mickey
1. Chapter 1

They had slowly been getting back to the way they were before Terry had found them. Obviously a lot had changed but they needed each other and they were both trying hard to make things normal between them again. They were more careful now but Mickey wasn't shutting Ian out. If anything he was more determined than ever to stop anything like that happening again. He wanted to protect Ian, he never wanted to see pain in his eyes again and that included the pained look he got whenever Mickey was distant or tried to end things. Mickey didn't want things to end, the thought of not having Gallagher beside him hurt him more than he could admit even to himself, but he knew that he was trouble. He knew he meant danger for Ian, his family was danger for Ian. But Ian didn't see it that way, the way he saw it, he was never more safe, more protected, than when Mickey was by his side. When Mickey had his back nothing could touch him. And so they had clung to whatever scraps of normality they could and began building back up to the carefree teenagers they had once been together.

That all changed when Lip stormed into The Kash and Grab when Ian had gone to pick up a prescription for Linda.

"Your brothers not here." Mickey announced the second he realised it was Lip and he wasn't there as a paying customer.

"Yeah I figured as much when I saw him leave twenty minutes ago." Lip responded, ever the smart ass. "Firstly, I know you're fucking Ian, just wanna get that out the way so when I say what I gotta say you're gonna listen and not waste time pretending like you don't give a shit."

Mickey feigned shock. He knew Lip knew, Ian had told him when they first properly talked through everything that had happened between them. After Mickey had finally dropped his guard and responded to Ian's constant advances. Mickey had told Ian everything Terry had done once he had left. He'd told him how the only reason he'd fucked the Russian back was because he knew it was the only way to get Ian out of there alive. And once that was done he didn't have the strength to pretend anymore so his dad had to find new ways to beat him straight. Ian let slip that he had talked to his brother about why he was in such a state, said he had confided in Lip once before, when he had first gone to juvie, but that he hadn't told him anything about what had happened to Mickey because it wasn't his secret to tell. All his brother knew was that they'd been found out and that Ian was not OK, but that he would be.

"Took you twenty minutes to grow the balls to come in here and say all that?" Mickey looked up from his magazine to Lip, he was uncomfortable and defensive, like Mickey could attack at any minute. But Mickey knew he would do anything to protect his brother so it wasn't fear he saw in Lip's eyes, it was determination. That's something Mickey could respect.

"Yeah, kinda wish I'd taken longer cause now I'm here I don't know how to put this." Lip fidgeted before jumping onto the counter and grabbing a pack of smokes. He sat there on the counter, back to Mickey, for a few minutes before either of them spoke again.

"The genius is speechless, huh?" Mickey smirked, "This must be good."

Again there was a silence.

"Look, I'm assuming this is about your brother and I'm guessing you don't want him to fucking know about it so you're gonna have to spit it out quick before he fucking gets back." By the look on Lip's face Mickey knew where this conversation was headed, he didn't fucking like it.

"OK, fuck it." Lip announced sharply as he jumped off the counter and spun round to face a quickly angering Milkovich. "I don't know what the fuck you and Ian are to each other, and I don't know if you even care but Ian's been talking about West Point for years now and I'm not gonna let him give up on his dream for a quick fuck every time you forget about hating the fact that you're fucking gay." Lip didn't let out a single breath as he spoke, almost as if he was afraid that if he stopped for even a fraction of a second he would lose his nerve.

Mickey could have lost it at any number of things Lip had said. He could have punched him for assuming Mickey was just after some quick fuck, for thinking Mickey didn't care. He could have fucking pounced when Lip had dared to fucking judge him, had dared to say the word 'gay', something not even Ian said in in front of Mickey because he wasn't ready to deal with that reality yet. He had already come to terms with what he was but he didn't need people labeling it, not now, not after his dad had once again tainted those fucking words beyond repair. Mickey could have lectured Lip about not knowing shit, about keeping his fucking nose out of things he didn't understand. But he didn't, because the only words he could focus on were 'give up on his dream'. Mickey knew all about Ian Gallagher and his fucking dream, he knew and he hated it. The thought of his Gallagher getting shot to shit in some foreign country scared him, made him sick to his stomach. So why did the thought of him giving up that dream make him feel fucking worse. And why was Lip acting like it was Mickey's fucking fault.

"Look, Mickey, if you care about my brother..." Lip started to say, but Mickey couldn't hear that. He couldn't hear how the only thing he could do to make sure Ian got to keep his dream was to end them for good, end whatever it was they shared. He had tried to end it and failed and now he never wanted it to stop because it felt too fucking good, and he was too fucked addicted to that feeling. He cut Lip off by jumping up from his seat behind the counter. Lip moved backwards, away from a potential attack, but Mickey didn't lash out. He walked past Lip and out the door without so much as releasing his breath.

* * *

"What the fuck did you say to him?" Ian stormed into the Gallagher house and pinned Lip against the wall as he strode towards him from the kitchen. He didn't want to shout in front of the rest of his family but he couldn't help it. He was frantic with worry because Mickey wasn't answering his phone, he was ignoring him again and Ian couldn't survive it, not this time. "Linda said Mickey stormed out of the store after you said something to him, he didn't come back and he hasn't spoken to me since. He was fucking fine this morning so what the fuck did you say to him?" Ian was as angry as he had ever been and Lip knew he couldn't fight back when his brother was like this.

The Gallagher's all stopped what they were doing, they stared at Ian with worried eyes as Lip pushed his brothers hands away from his throat so he could respond. "Ian, just calm down OK?" He pleaded.

"Fuck you, what did you do?" Ian was livid but he was also upset, he had been searching for Mickey since his shift ended hours ago. Tears stung his eyes as he thought of all the things that could be going through Mickey's head, all the reasons Lip could have given him to end things.

"I didn't get a fucking chance to do anything, he just stormed out." Lip breathed deeply when Ian released his grip on him and ran his shaking hands threw his ginger locks. He was still ignoring all the other Gallagher's as he looked back at Lip, eyes telling him he better continue with his explanation. "I just went there to talk to him about you, for years you've been going on about West Point, like fighting for your fucking country is all that matters. Now all of a sudden you're missing ROTC weekends and not paying attention to your grades. I'm not an idiot Ian, I know whats brought this on and obviously so does Mickey otherwise he wouldn't have left."

"You don't know fucking anything..." Ian started before the door slammed open and in stormed Mandy Milkovich.

"What the fuck has happened to my brother?" She demands, staring intently at Ian.

He could see all of his family silently screaming for an explanation. They knew Ian and Mickey worked together but they didn't know how anything to do with the Milkovich boy could cause this reaction in Ian. He was saved from having to explain when Mandy continued her tirade. "I get some weird fucking text from you asking where he is, telling me to give him some cryptic ass message when I see him. Then when I do manage to get hold of him and mention your name he starts fucking screaming and hangs up on me. Something has been going on for fucking ages and its obvious none of you are going to fucking tell me what the hell it is until i fucking ask so this is me asking?"

"I just need to find him, I just need to talk to him first, OK " Ian tried to show just how desperate he was for Mandy to drop the subject. If he ever got Mickey to talk to him again only for the older boy to realise he's practically outed him, not only to the whole Gallagher family but also to his own sister, then he was sure he would lose him for good.

"No, fuck that, what's so fucking urgent?" Mandy may have asked the question but everyone in the room wanted the answer, an answer Ian didnt have the strength to give.

Ian didn't know what to do so he stared at the only person who knew anything about the situation. He may have been furious at Lip but he was still hoping to find some resolution in his face. Lip took one look at his brother's desperate eyes and held up his hands in surrender.

"OK, first, this is my fault, so lay off Ian. Alright, I fucked up." Lip scanned around the room, looking everyone in the eye and demanding their attention. Once he had it he could see Ian relax slightly and he took a deep breath before he continued his, admittedly simplified, explanation. "I just noticed Ian was starting to slack on his West Point initiative and I panicked because I don't want him to miss out on his dream, so instead of bringing it up with him I took it out on someone else, someone I shouldn't have. I said some things to Mickey that I shouldn't have, OK " His admission to the others doubled as an apology to his brother. His eyes begged Ian to understand, to forgive, but Ian was too frantic, too lost. He just needed Mickey, he just needed to know where they stood, that they still stood together.

"You know that none of that makes sense, right?" Fiona interjected, she had her hands on her hips and her head tilted slightly to the side. Vee was standing next to her, one hand on her shoulder urging her to keep calm and not jump to conclusions. Kev and Jimmy were sat at the kitchen table, beers in hand, failing miserably to pretend they weren't interested in the conversation taking place in the next room. Carl and Debbie were both kneeling on the sofa, eyes flicking from Ian to Lip. Even Liam was silent, sat on the floor in front of the sofa, alternating between trying to stuff a whole crayon in his mouth and colouring the table with it. "Forgetting how the hell Mickey Milkovich is involved with all this," she turns from Lip to Ian, "Why the hell are you giving up on West Point?"

"He's fucking not!"

Ian hadn't realised that Mandy had left the door open when she barged in. He hadn't noticed Mickey walk in, didn't know how long he had been standing there, how much he'd heard. But he did know he was fucked. Even if he heard nothing but Fiona's last question, it was enough for him to know that everyone currently in the Gallagher house, including his fucking sister, knew there was something going on with Ian that involved Mickey. If this wasn't enough to push the older boy away then Lip's earlier visit was. Ian wanted to rush forward and grab him, make sure he couldn't leave. But he didn't want to make things worse and he knew he'd have to let go sometime. So he just stood there, silent and still. Willing the Milkovich standing in front of him to say something, anything to put his mind at ease. But fearing the worst when Mickey just glared, as silent as he was but twice as angry.

Lip opened his mouth to speak but Mickey spun to face him, silently telling him to shut the fuck up, then he turned his attention back to Ian and finally spoke. "You're not backing out now, you want West Point so bad, well you're fucking going." Mickey's anger seemed to dissolve into something else, Ian didn't quite know what but it sounded like acceptance, there was a force behind his words that he didn't understand. He thought people would be happy at the thought of him not marching off to fucking war. And with that realisation, coupled with Mickey's disappearing act, his own anger was back.

"Do I get a fucking say in that?" Everyone else forgotten, his comment was directed and Mickey alone.

"You already made your fucking choice, what you chickening out? You fucking scared Gallagher?" Mickey knew what he was doing, he was good at this. Winding people up, pushing their buttons, getting them angry, making them honest.

"Fuck you, what the hell do you know Mr 'Fucked for Life'?" Ian was hurting, he knew where this was going and he was putting up his barriers now so Mickey wouldn't get to see him break.

"What you wanna be like me?" Mickey shouted, enraged but not insulted. He knew what he was, he also knew Gallagher was better than that.

"Don't you fucking dare!"

"What don't be fucking honest, thought that was what you wanted Gallagher!"

"Like you know anything about fucking honesty!"

"Here's something honest, you're a fucking coward!" Mickey yelled as he raised a hand to point to Ian.

"Oh," Ian snorted. "Coming from the guy who hasn't been honest about himself a single day in his whole fucking life!" Self preservation be damned, Ian was angry, he wanted to give as good as he got, hurt Mickey like he was hurting. He was desperate for it not to end but he wasn't going to fucking beg because he knew it wouldn't do any good.

"At least I know what the fuck I am. You, you're all fucking talk. But when it comes down to it you run the fuck away!"

"I'm not fucking running!"

"What would you call it then? West Point's just around the fucking corner and you're running fucking scared!"

"I'm not fucking scared of West Point?"

"No?"

"No!"

"What are you fucking scared of then?"

"Oh I gotta be fucking scared of something just because I don't wanna go?"

"It's not that you ever wanted to go, it's that you wanted to fucking come back." Mickey stalked forward into Ian's space, he looked directly into the younger boys eyes as he continued. "Come back having done something fucking spectacular. Something be proud of, to make everyone here fucking proud. Like you owe them that, like you fucking owe anyone fucking anything!" Mickey spat out, rage refusing to subside.

"Mickey..." Ian didn't know when he lost his own anger but it was gone now. Mickey was talking to him with such a resounding honesty that he felt the tears in his eyes again, he fought them back. "Please..."

"No, fuck that. When you talk about leaving, about West Point, you're just saying the fucking words, saying what you gotta to convince everyone else. Its when you talk about coming back, about coming fucking home to this shit hole, that's when you fucking smile. That's when your fucking eyes light up and you forget about convincing anyone fucking else. That's what your working so fucking hard for!" Mickey held Ian's gaze and dared him to deny it, to argue with him.

He may not be wrong, but that doesn't mean he's right either. Ian doesn't know if he really gets it. He has to make him understand. "It's not just them Mickey, that I think about coming home to... you know that right?" He looks to the floor so he can't see Mickey's reaction, he's crossing a line that they don't cross. He knows that but he can't stop.

Mickey's on a roll, he's too far gone to answer Gallagher's question. He doesn't even think he knows the answer, either that or he does and it frightens him. So he acts like the question was never asked, he continue where he left off. "You're not fucking giving that up Gallagher. Not because you've found a new fucking version of settled that you don't wanna give up." Not because he's found Mickey. "You're gonna go and you're not gonna get your ass blown off or i will fucking kill you myself. It's gonna be fucking hard and you'll probably wanna quit a whole bunch of times. But you fucking won't. And then after you've finished proving your fucking point you'll come back and have some big, gay ass emotional reunion and you'll forget all about how fucking hard it was and you'll get that stupid fucking smile on your face again. The one you get now when you're just fucking thinking about it. Only then it will be fucking bigger, because there wont be any of the worry or fucking impatience. You fucking need that smile Gallagher... You fucking deserve that at least."

Mickey pauses for breath, he knows he's said too much, let too much show, but he wants Gallagher to have the world and he knows he cant give it to him.

"Mick..." Ian, is still fighting the tears, he doesn't know what he wants to say, he just wants Mickey to stop talking. He knows whats coming next, he knows that this is the excuse Mickey's been looking for, his excuse to end things between them.

"No! This..." he sighs, "I... am not worth that fucking dream so you so much as even fucking THINK about giving up on that for this," he waves his arms between the two of them, "Whatever that fuck this is, and it will end, I will fucking end it before you've even finished the fucking thought. You understand me?"

Relief washes over Ian like a tidal wave, he's not ending it. And then he realises what Mickey is acknowledging for the first time.

"So this is something?" He says, daring a small smile as he looks to black haired, blue eyed 'thug' in front of him.

"That's what you fucking took from that?" Mickey looks incredulously back at Ian.

"Mick, I understand OK. I get it, and you're right, about all of it. It is important, and I'm not giving it up. Not now, not ever. I promise." And Ian means that, every word, because now he has Mickey behind him, he has the strength for all of it. But he also needs to make himself clear, a determination takes over him before he next opens his mouth. "But... Mick... It's not just them I wanna come home to. You do get that right?"

He doesn't, and he doesn't want to because it's too fucking good to be true, and it will all end painfully. Its just a matter of time.

"You're just..."

Ian knows what he's going to say as soon as he stops thinking and opens his mouth to speak. "No, fuck you." He shouts with renewed anger. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to lecture me about my own fucking dreams and thoughts and feelings and then tell me I'm too young to know know how I feel about you. Or that I might change my mind once I'm away from here, away from you! I won't!" He's never been more sure of anything in his life, so he pushes further, "I need to know what this something is because I can't leave if it means leaving it behind. I can't go if I don't get to come back to it."

But Mickey's just as stubborn, and in his mind, much less naive. Gallagher's not going to put up with him much longer and he isn't going to change, he doesn't know how. All Mickey has to do is remind of that, he just needs to push back. "Do you even remember all the shit I've caused you?" He shouts with no real malice.

"I remember everything Mickey. I remember you gave the gun back, I remember you didn't turn me away when I came to your door a fucking mess because of Monica turning up. I remember shotgunning beers, you laughing and telling me about the time you pissed on first base, you accepting the job at the Kash and Grab even though you coulda got more money from the job Iggy found for you. I remember you punching a cop because I begged you not to kill Frank. I remember you saying I was nothing but a warm mouth to you."

Ian tried to reach out to Mickey, to rest his hands on his shoulders, to pull him closer, or at least hold him still. But Mickey shrugged him off. The red headed Gallagher was a vicious mixture of angry and upset. At the same time as tears were threatening to fall, his hands were bunching into fists ready to knock some sense into idiot in front of him. But Mickey wouldn't look at him, and he couldn't look around at the people he was painfully aware of watching them. All he could do was look at the floor and stop the memories flooding back.

"Enough..." he barked, he didn't want to hear anymore. "Fucking... Just enough," he tried not to sound desperate but Ian's words were ringing in his ears. And he wasn't stopping.

"I remember both times you were in juvie because of me, the first time I didn't so much as look at anyone else because I couldn't stop thinking about you. And the second time, after you ripped my fucking heart out..." Ian paused then because he didn't know how Mickey would react to that. They hadn't talked about that time, hadn't talked about feelings, especially in front of others. But Mickey didn't react, just looked deeper into the floor and gripped one of his elbows with his other hand. "I slept with whoever the fuck I felt like just to get you the hell out of my head. Because I believed every fucking word and I hated you for it." As Ian remembered that feeling he felt sick, he felt like he was going to break all over again.

"I didn't..." When Ian paused Mickey tried to take the opportunity to explain himself. But Ian didn't need his explanations, not now he had something to say.

"Then I remember you turning up at the bleachers and acting like none of it fucking happened. I should have been angry, I should have wanted answers. But all I could think about in that moment was you being back and me feeling whole for the first time in months. I remember you saying you missed me and all of my emotions were ready to explode with fucking happiness until you made that stupid remark about fucking in juvie and being glad to be out, like that's all it was. And just like that I was back to being nothing. I remember you fucking Angie Zago and feeling sick with anger or jealousy or maybe both..." He looked at Mickey to try and judge his reaction, to see if the answer was in his face. But Mickey didn't have anything to say to that, so he stayed quiet.

"... Then I remember you messing with me, flirting almost. I remember you making comments about Lloyd and hoping to god that it was out of jealousy because that would mean that I did mean something. Then you showed up outside the bar and I didn't for a second even think about not following you when the guy called the cops because the only person I ever want to be around is you."

He was being more honest than he had ever been, and it was the most real they had ever been together. Ian was standing still but his legs itched to get closer to Mickey, to hold onto him so he couldn't run away. But Mickey couldn't have run if he wanted to, he didn't know how to leave Gallagher anymore. But he really didn't like what this was building to and he didn't want to remember anymore.

"You're talking about this shit like I wasn't fucking there. I lived it too Gallagher. I remember it... I fucking know."

"Oh yeah?" Ian snorted, because how could Mickey know, they never talked about it, "Then you know that the day you helped me set up the assault course was one of the best days of my life because it was so natural, so fucking easy for you to be comfortable around me. You looked fucking happy that day, god knows I fucking was. And just when I thought that maybe that was it, that was how it would always be with us, casual, a glorified fucking friendship that I was strangely OK with because it meant I got to have you at least a little bit. Just when I realised I would rather have nothing with you than have everything with anybody else, you fucking kissed me and I was right back to hoping for more." Single tear drops from each eye fell down his cheeks at the memory of better days, easier days, but he just wiped them away and carried on. "Then I remember you asking me if I wanted to get away from the group home, inviting me over, watching films I was really not paying attention to because all I wanted to look at was you. I remember the best night of my fucking life," Ian took a deep breathe as his voice went deeper, full of regret and fear, "Then I remember your dad."

"That's fucking enough" He didn't want Gallagher to remember that, he couldn't protect either of them when it happened, and it almost broke him, he almost let his dad win, he almost lost Ian. He didn't care that the others in the room were hearing this, the ones he needed to protect from it were himself and Ian, his Ian. He stepped forward and grabbed the shaking Gallagher's shirt, "Stop now while you're still fucking breathing Gallagher."

"No." Ian shouted defiantly, because he wasn't remembering Mickey fail, he was remember the older boy saving his life and he needed Mickey to see it that way too. "I remember you jumping on his back to get him off me, you getting his attention, his anger, back onto you every time he looked at me or pointed the gun in my direction." Mickey hadn't failed Ian, as far as Ian was concerned it was the other way around. "I remember not being able to look at you even though you were the only thing I wanted to fucking see. And then the first time I tried to talk to you afterwards you ripped my heart out again, without fucking words this time because you wouldn't look at me, wouldn't talk to me and just like that it was over. You were gone..." His words stuck in his throat when fresh tears fell.

"Gallagher..." Mickey whispered as he loosened his grip on the others boy shirts, he dropped his head to stare back at the floor.

"But then I found you again, and it wasn't over. And I've never been so fucking happy in my entire life. Because we are fucking something, I know we are... Please... Mickey..." He was begging now, voice gone soft and gentle, anger replaced by desperation. He rested his hands on Mickey's hips. Finally making the contact he was craving.

"I didn't fuck her," still looking at the floor, Mickey elaborated, "Angie, I didn't fuck her"

Ian laughed a joyless laugh. "That's all you fucking took from that?" His smile faded almost instantly. Even though there was once a time when he wanted so badly to hear those words, right now there more important questions he needed answering, more important things he needed Mickey to say. But Mickey had to start somewhere so Ian didn't push him, he let him carry on, hoping beyond hope that there was more.

"That fucking paedo bitch said something about love being called a mistake and I couldn't fucking think straight." He let out a defeated laugh before he continued to say "Turns out I couldn't act it either because the second I got in her fucking house I drank all her dads whiskey, then when she went upstairs to her room I told her I'd be up in a minute then fucking bolted out the door."

"Nice Mick. Real classy." His smile lasted longer this time but his eyes willed Mickey to carry on.

"Didn't mean what I said either." He looked up and met Ian's eyes again. "After Frank walked in on us it got too fucking real. I needed you to fucking hate me, to fucking forget. Or I needed to forget." Mickey ran his hands through his hair, exhausted from the fidgeting, exhausted from the conversation. "I don't fucking know." He grunted with frustration, as his eyes wondered around the room, suddenly aware of all the shocked faces judging him. Then Ian shifted his body so he was all the older boy could see and Mickey continued, wanting to get the words out before he lost his nerve. "I needed to believe what I said," he sighed, "but I couldn't because it was never fucking true."

He lost his nerve, he couldn't think anymore. He had no more words and too many thoughts. A small part of him hoped Ian would leave it at that, accept it and move on, a bigger part of him knew that wouldn't happen.

"Mickey?" Ian all but begged him to continue. He voice just as exhausted as Mickeys, tears still stinging his eyes.

"Fuck! OK Alright. You're right, we are something. I know that's not enough, especially for your fucking family, who want the fucking world for you," he gestured his arms around the room before scraping them down his face to hide his pleading eyes. "But it's all I got Ian, maybe all I ever will have." His eyes desperately searched Ian's for confirmation that it was enough. When he couldn't decipher Ian's reaction he had to continue, he had to give a little bit more, he had to give everything he knew how. "It won't be fucking over just because you leave. And it will still be here... shit... I will still be here when you get fucking back." That last few words came out as more of a question than a statement and Mickey wanted Ian to just say something, anything, to give him some kind of answer.

All Ian could hear, at first, was his name. His name on Mickey's lips, like it belonged there. It was a sound he hadn't even realised he was longing for until Mickey had said it, so softly, so afraid. Then it hit him that Mickey was afraid, just as afraid as he was and that this thing between them wasn't something either of them had control over. Suddenly the rest of Mickeys words reached his ears and he just couldn't stop himself. The rest of the world, their fucked up history, his family and Mandy surrounding them with looks of confusion, all of it disappeared as he threw himself forward and cupped Mickeys face with his hands. He pulled the older boy forward and breathed his name as he crashed their lips together. It was no longer than the kiss Mickey had given him in the van, but it was deeper somehow. They pulled apart breathing heavily and Ian refused to let go of Mickey's face in case he took the opportunity to bolt. He leaned his forehead against his lover's and breathed him in as best he could.

"Fuck," he panted, "it's enough Mickey." He brought his eyes up to meet the other boys, "it's more than fucking enough."

Relief washed over Mickey as soon as Ian said the words. The closeness that would have once sent Mickey fleeing was now the only thing that kept him grounded. He needed it, he needed Ian. He brought his hands up to rest on Ian's cheeks, mirroring the younger boys hold on him. He looked deep into his eyes for a few more seconds before he brought their lips together again. Unlike their previous kisses this one lasted for as long as the two boys could make it without coming up for air. Ian immediately responded to Mickeys movements and parted his lips so that Mickey could deepen the kiss. It was passionate and full of promise. One of Mickey's hands held onto the back of Ian's neck, with the other resting firmly on his lower back. Ian's arms moved around Mickeys neck and rested on his shoulders, not tightly but with enough of a grip to stop the other boy should he try to move away. But Mickey didn't pull away, not even when they broke for air. He smiled against Ian's open lips and kissed him once again. A quick peck that caused the red head to laugh and open his eyes to look back at Mickey. He watched as Mickey took in the forms of all the people around them, the older boy exhaled a breath and rested his forehead back against Ian's.

"OK, don't take this the wrong fucking way Gallagher but I need to get the fuck out of here." His tone was soft, the words whispered but they still filled the otherwise silent room. He stepped away from Ian and his voice returned to normal as he continued. "I need to fucking shoot something, or hit something. Shit, I dunno, just need to do fucking something."

Ian didn't miss a beat before he asked, almost pleadingly, "Can I come?"

Mickey turned to smirk at the younger boy. "Would you even listen if I said fucking no?"

Ian returned the smirk, "Would you want me to?"

"Well come the fuck on then." Mickey said with no malice, his smirk transforming into a smile against his will.

Ian smiled brightly, a smile that only Mickey could draw out of him. He followed after his Milkovich immediately, leaving all explanations to his family for another time. Right now he needed Mickey more than they needed answers.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wanna talk about what just happened?" Ian knows not to push Mickey but he also knows that the boy walking beside him isn't going to run. He believes every word the other said to him and he's feeling secure for the first time in a long time, he just needs to make sure Mickey is OK too.

"We not said enough for one fucking day?" Mickey huffs, he's tired and talked out. He knows Gallagher's got more to say but he's antsy and he needs to stop thinking before he overloads.

"You're not mad at me?" The younger boy chances a glance at his lover, he's not scared anymore but he knows they crossed a lot of lines that Mickey wasn't ready to cross, he knows it was his fault. Mickey gives him a puzzled look so Ian raises his arms into an apologetic shrug and elaborates "For outing you to everyone... To Mandy?"

"Honestly?" Mickey features soften, cocking his head to the side, his steps on the pavement not faltering for a second. "Wouldn't matter if I was, not like I didn't mean everything I fucking said in there." He wouldn't walk away now, no matter how mad he got.

Ian smiles. "Matters to me."

"Jesus Gallagher!" It's like he can't let anything slide without bringing emotions into it, and he knows exactly how to play Mickey, exactly what look to give him to get the older boy to play along. "Not mad, agitated." He states honestly. "Just need to do something, hit something, stop thinking for a fucking second."

Ian's smile turns into a smirk as he grabs Mickey's shoulder and turns him around to face him. "Do something, huh?" He raises his eyebrows and waits for his lovers response.

Mickey laughs, sincere and hearty. He looks around and pushes his tongue into the corner of his mouth, "Wanna at least go someplace a bit more private?"

Ian's smile doesn't falter and Mickey snorts. The two boys start walking again, both staring straight ahead. That is until Ian remembers the thought that started this conversation off. He turns back to Mickey and almost whispers, "You know we gotta face 'em all eventually, they're gonna have a lot of questions."

But Mickey isn't gonna turn this back around, not now. He knows he's got people to answer to, explanations to give and really he knows he should be freaking out more than he is. But honestly, hes too relieved, still on a high from Gallagher's words and happy to finally know where they both stand, to have everything out in the open. No, right now he's just gotta live for the moment and the moment requires something a bit more light hearted.

"Better make this worth it then." He smirks at the younger boy beside him, rubbing his thumb along the corner of his mouth in the way that drives Ian crazy.

The Gallagher boy just smiles in return, he launches himself at Mickey and barely shoves him into the small alley by the side of the, thankfully, deserted street before his lips are on the older boys and his hands are tugging at his jeans. Challenge accepted.

* * *

"What the fuck was that?" Fiona was standing in the spot Mickey and Ian had just left from, as if this held some sort of answer. She had one hand on her hip and one pointed to the front door. "You knew about this?" She twisted her body to look at Lip, unable to hide her concern and unwilling to mask her anger. Her brother had obviously been through a lot, things he should never have had to go through alone. He should have been able to talk to her, to trust her. Lip should have clued her in to their brother's struggles.

"I knew they fucked, I had no idea there were those kind of feelings involved. Its Micky Milkovich for fucks sake, didn't know he knew feelings!" Lip wasn't thinking about what he was saying, he was trying to lighten the mood, to appease his sister, who was obviously less than impressed with this turn of events. He regretted his words the minute he remembered who else was in the room.

"Hey fuck you, my brothers been through shit that would have you crying in a fucking corner. He doesn't have the Gallagher family back-up, he's done it all a-fucking-lone!" Mandy's thoughts mirrored Fiona's. She knew immediately why her brother had hidden this from her, didn't blame him, but she hated the thought of him living with this alone for however long he had been. Living in the Milkovich home with her homophobic father and bigoted brothers, surrounded by hate that none of them knew was actually directed straight at Mickey. "Shit, my brothers gay, he's fucking gay... Oh my god, my dad... he'll fucking kill him if he finds out."

"Ummm, yeah, Terry knows," Lip could feel the atmosphere in the room drop, everyone was scared of those words. He tried to say them calmly, innocently even, but the sentiment was the same. Terry knew, which meant bad things for Ian and Mickey. "He... umm... caught them that night Ian snuck out of the group home." He gestured with his hands to try and subtly tell the adults in the room exactly what he meant by 'caught' them. Debbie obviously got it too because her face immediately scowled and she covered her eyes as if to stop an image forming.

Mandy sank onto the bottom step and held her head in her hands as she remembered that morning she had come home. Come home to her father swearing, to Mickey screaming 'fuck off' to her the second she walked into the living room. She had thought at the time that he was being an asshole, but he was actually doing what he always did, he was pushing her away. Shielding her from her dad's anger and making sure she didn't get caught in the crossfire. Mickey was good at that, at getting his dad to direct all of his anger onto him, he had started doing it when Terry got drunk and hit their mum. Iggy could handle himself, but their other brothers still looked to Mickey when Terry got that look in his eyes like he was itching for a fight. Even though they were older they would look to Mickey, or to Iggy, and neither would hesitate to take the punches. That's what her brothers were like, growing up as a Milkovich meant you had your siblings back because they were the only people who had yours. It wasn't like with the Gallagher's, where Frank would disappear for weeks on end and they could get on with their lives. Terry was always there and Mickey was his prodigy, this would normally be a good thing for a child, to be his fathers favourite. But all it meant for Mickey was that he never got away with anything, his father watched him like a hawk and every fight he lost he got beat for. Every job he failed he had to pay for. Every mistake he made he was punished for, so he never made that mistake again. And unlike the Gallagher's, unlike Ian, Mickey couldn't lean on his siblings for support because none of them could take on Terry, none of them would even try, they would take on the rest of the world with him but they wouldn't touch their dad. But now everything was worse, so much worse because Mickey was gay, now he wouldn't even have his brothers anymore, he would have no one because no one outside the family liked the Milkovich's and no Milkovich would accept a 'fag'.

Mandy couldn't stop the tears, she cried for brother, for being so stupid. For being so quick to brush off Terry's latest bout of violence towards Mickey as nothing unusual. She cried when she realised just what had happened to her brother the day she came home to find Terry's knuckles stained with blood, the equally as bloody baseball bat clutched in his fists as he walked past her and out the door. Mickey's door stayed shut for the rest of the day, when she finally saw him again his face had mostly healed but he obviously had trouble walking. She had brushed it off at the time and called him a pussy, now she cried as she realised he couldn't even count on her.

Everyone had heard her sobs but no one was willing to comfort an unstable Milkovich. They all looked at each other as they wordlessly asked what the hell they could do, what they could say. Debbie huffed out an annoyed grunt and jumped off the sofa, she stalked over to Mandy and wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she sank onto the step next to her. She gave Lip an annoyed glare as she rubbed at Mandy's shoulders and whispered that it would be OK.

Fiona may have felt sorry for the sobbing girl in her house but she couldn't think about that now because she was more concerned about her brother. Ian was more important to her than Mickey and unlike the neighborhood thug, he wouldn't be able to defend himself against the Milkovich's. "So, what the hell do we do now? What is Terry gonna do to Ian?" She tried send Lip a glare of her own but she saw he was just as worried about their ginger haired sibling as she was.

"I dunno, Ian says its all OK now, says he's OK." He wants to be able to say more but he can't, he doesn't know anything else. He just shrugs his shoulders and shifts his weight onto his other foot. Looking from Fiona to Vee and trying to convince them that that's all he has to offer.

Vee must have seen the sincerity in his stare because she responds next. "Alright, so Ian seems to think he has this under control, do we give him the benefit of the doubt here?" Her hands are on her hips and she means business. Ian might not be her brother but he damn well is family.

"Ian's safe." Mandy looks up from her knees and scrapes her hand through her hair. "The other day my dad heard me mention Ian and he looked like he wanted to kill someone, Mickey saw it and made some stupid ass remark about my dad needing a fucking hobby, got too much time on his hands getting all pissed off at people. I didn't think much of it at the time, thought Mickey was just itching for a fight, guess there was more to it after all." She let out an aggressive laugh before continuing, "Mickey obviously cares about Ian, so you don't have to fucking worry, he'll be fine, my dad won't get the chance to touch him."

She seemed so confident that Fiona almost believes her. But it's not enough, she can't take that risk. "And what about when Mickey's not there to distract him? What about when your bloody brothers decide to join the fight? He gonna take on all of them too?"

"If he has to!" Mandy's angry now, shes shouting, she won't let the Gallagher's look down on Mickey, underestimate him.

"No, we can't take that risk, we gotta do something." Fiona looks to Jimmy for support. He and Kev have moved to stand either side of Veronica. Both look concerned but also completely at a loss. Kev know's the Milkovich's too well to consider going up against them. Jimmy, on the other hand, doesn't know them well enough to know what kind of a threat they pose.

"Do something about what?" All faces turn to see Frank stumble into the room, mumbling and slurring as he tries to lower himself onto the couch.

"None of your fucking business," Lip moves to throw Frank out but Fiona pulls him back, the last thing they need is another fight breaking out. They have more important things to deal with and Frank will just pass out any minute anyway.

"HA, family business is my business, I am the head of this household!" He shouts as he holds a bottle of whiskey above his head, kicking Carl off of the sofa when he raises his legs to lay down.

Lip and Fiona roll their eyes, Debbie scowls at her dad and clutches Mandy harder, she has nearly stopped crying now but Debbie knows how similar her and Mickey are, knows she could bolt at any minute, she doesn't want her doing anything stupid like confronting her dad.

"Listen, if Terry was such a major threat wouldn't Ian have mentioned it to you? I mean if he was really that worried he wouldn't let any of you get caught in the crossfire right?" Jimmy finally pitches in. Fiona turns to him and thinks on his words, before she can reply though, Frank chimes in.

"Oooooooh, I see, finally get a clue did our Terry?" He laughs at a joke no one else heard. "That'll teach him, judging me. Just because my wife chose a different path to other women, not my fault. It was you kids that put too much pressure on her, she wouldn't have converted..." He says making air quotes with his hands, "If you kids hadn't been around."

"What did you do?" Lip's marching forward before he can stop himself, he lunges at Frank and catches his jaw with his fist. "Ian told me you caught them, what the fuck did you do?"

"Why do you just assume I did something?" Frank waves innocently in the air, he dodges another punch before pushing himself into a sitting position and exhaling slightly. "OK, so I may have made a tiny, tiny remark to him," he pinches his fingers together and looks at the only Gallagher he thinks won't try and kill him, Liam is, after all, too young to hate him yet. "I just told that son of a bitch that he had no right to judge OUR family when one of his own was more similar than he thinks to MY WIFE. If anything you should be THANKING me for sticking up for you lot, lord knows I didn't have to." He waves around the room again before lying back down against the arm of the sofa.

"When?" Mandy jumps up and Lip has to run to hold her back. "When the fuck did you talk to my dad?"

"Oh I dunno." Frank squirms and feigns sleep before Lip slaps his forehead and Debbie tells him to continue. "Fuuuck, OK it was a long time ago. I can't be blamed because he's probably forgotten by now."

"When!" Mandy repeats, voiced erupting with anger.

"Jesus, a couple of weeks ago. He was at the Alibi picking up booze for some run with his precious little Milkovich army. I was just trying to be friendly, asked if he wanted to share some of that booze, may have made a comment about his ex wife. He dared to tell me that I couldn't keep a woman like you're mother happy, that I..." He accentuated the word with a jab to his own stomach, "Wasn't man enough. I simply suggested he take a closer look at Mickey and Ian's 'friendship'." He slunk back down at the end of his speech and pushed Lip's hand off of his shoulder so he could get more comfortable.

"That's why he came home fucking early! Iggy said something was eating at him the whole fucking trip, he came back to check on Mickey because of your shit head fucking father and you say my brother is the piece of shit?" Mandy is incredulous, the rage has boiled up to a point where she can't be around this fucking family anymore. She pushes Lip away with more force than necessary and leaves without a second glance, slamming the door behind her.

Debbie runs and jumps on her fathers stomach, screaming as she hits him. "How could you do that to Ian, how could you do that, he's family, he's your son!"

"No son of mine." Frank manages to gasp out between dodging Debbie's blows. It's Carl who hits Frank across the forehead with the thickest book he could find, Lip and Kev drag him onto the front step and Fiona locks the door behind them when they return to the living room.

After a few minutes more, going back and forth through their options, Lip managers to convince his family that they need to wait and talk to Ian. That he is the only one with any real answers, and that if him and Mickey are really not worried about Terry anymore, there has to be a reason.

* * *

Mickey and Ian were still coming down from their high, still smiling and laughing. Both now unwilling to break the mood by bringing up the angry family that waits for them at the Gallagher's. Their round in the alley had the desired affect, Mickey was no longer tense, so when he suggested some target practice it was more of an excuse to keep the moment going just a bit longer. To be just the two of them, with their new found normality, for just a little while more. As they ascended the stairs of the crumbling building, Ian trying to wind Mickey up by demanding he hold his hand, Mickey batting it away and giving him a half-assed death glare, they both felt like nothing could touch them. They were content.

Then Mickey rounded the corner and saw his little sister, slumped on the floor with her knees up to her stomach, arms wrapped around them pulling them closer, head resting on the top. She was staring at that stupid doll he liked to shoot at, so deep in thought that she didn't notice him, didn't notice Ian's concerned gasp. Mickey felt the wind knocked out of him because he had done that to the person he had sworn he would never let anyone hurt. And then he had walked away without any explanation, so wrapped up in his own need for Ian that he hadn't thought of her need for him.

He darted towards his sister and the noise snapped her out of her slump. She jumped to her feet and ran into her brothers arms, whispering incoherent words and desperate apologies. Mickey kept one arm around her waste as he pulled away and ran the other hand through her hair. He gave her a small smile, picked her up and pulled her back in, clinging on tight. Mandy wrapped her legs around her brother and held on for dear life, she needed to know he was OK, that he was still Mickey. He swung her around like he used to when she was younger and for the first time since she got that text off of Ian, Mandy laughed, because it was still Mickey. He was still her brother, the only one who dared to mess with her. His strong, familiar frame wasn't broken but his eyes were worried. She looked deep into them as he lowered her to the floor, she saw the worry, it wasn't for himself, it was for her. Mandy scowled the deepest she could at that moment and pinched her brother hard on the shoulder.

"You ever lie to me again and I will end you, I swear to fucking god Mickey!" She shouted.

"You could fucking try," he retorts, smiling, provoking her.

As much as she loved her brother, Mandy also hated him sometimes, she rolled her eyes and sat back down. Glaring up at the pair in front of her when Ian moved to stand next to Mickey. "So..." She gestured her hands between them, "Care to fucking explain?"

Mickey sat down beside his sister and gently shoved at her shoulder. "I'm OK," he said. "I'm not gonna fucking break so you can stop with the fucking worrying." His softer than usual tone betrayed his harsh words.

"Mick, I..." Mandy started a sentence she couldn't finish. How could she apologize for all the times she had sat back and let her father hurt him for who he was. How can she excuse the fact that she hadn't guessed, hadn't even suspected he was struggling with something. He could read her like an open fucking book but she didn't even think there was anything to read with Mickey. She hated herself for it now but she just saw him as a sort of mini Terry. Albeit one she loved, and could trust with her life. She looked back to the floor and sighed, defeated.

Mickey flicked her. "Would you buck the fuck up!" He launched his hand at her again but she shoved it away. "Come on douche bag, don't tell me you've gone soft!" He smirked and wiped at her puffy cheeks. "What, you acting like a real fucking girl now? Crying and shit?"

"Fuck off." She snorted.

Ian coughed to get Mickey's attention and when the older boy glanced at him he gave him a look that screamed 'be fucking nice'. Mickey just stared right back, he knew his fucking sister, she didn't respond to nice, not from him. Ian rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips when he saw Mandy and Mickey turn back to each other. They were so alike and so different all at the same time, both ferocious and aggressive. But both more loyal than anyone he had ever met. He felt like maybe he shouldn't be there, like this was something they needed to talk out together but the second he turned to walk way and give the siblings some space Mandy spun her head to look at him.

"Don't even fucking think about it!" She gestured for him to sit the fuck down and he didn't dare disobey.

Mickey laughed at how easy it was for his sister to get the Gallagher to do what she wanted. He watched Ian sit down next to his sister and reach out his hand to hers. The gesture was enough to make her smile softly and take a deep calming breath. Ian raised his eyes to catch Mickey's gaze and the two boys looked at each other, their eyes boring into the others with a passion Mandy had never seen before. Mickey didn't want to look away but he knew that now had to be about Mandy, and he realised he couldn't avoid the questions, the emotions, the conversation anymore. He huffed out a breath and looked at his sister.

"How much do you know?" He asked. He could feel the tension rising within himself again, he knew how Mandy worked, how she thought. He knew she would be worried and he knew she would blame herself for shit that wasn't her fault. When he saw the frustrated look in her tear soaked eyes he made a silent promise to his only sister that no matter how long it took him, he would convince her that she had nothing to be sorry for.

"Not fucking enough, but maybe too fucking much." She felt bad for thinking it but if she went back to not knowing, then she wouldn't have to deal with the guilt, wouldn't have to fight back the anger when she saw her dad or every time her brothers made a stupid remark, ignorant to the whole situation. "Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"Not if I could fucking help it." He shrugged, no point lying now.

"Why the fuck aren't the two of you dead? I know dad knows," Mickey could see she was conflicted, like she wanted to be reassured that they were OK but she wasn't ready to deal with everything Terry had put them through, everything that had happened. Ian opened his mouth to speak but Mickey gave him a serious look, silently telling him now wasn't the time, he would tell his sister everything but not before she was ready to hear it.

Ian understood, he let out a small laugh, shrugged, then said "Don't worry Mands, I'll protect him." He flexed him arms and put on his best tough guy face.

Mickey rolled his eyes and Mandy snorted punching him in the arm. The tension between the three started the dissipate again. Mandy still had questions, more questions than either boy had answers to, so Mickey said the only thing he could think of that could hopefully trump them all, temporarily at least.

"You trust me?" Mickey asked seriously, his little sister looked into his eyes and nodded with complete certainty. "Good!" And he gave her a firm look before slowly leaning forward and daring her to doubt him when he said everything was gonna be fine. She couldn't.

The three sat there for what felt like hours, Mandy doing her best to piss of Mickey, half just to get a reaction and half to reassure herself that he really was OK. Mickey, for his part, played along and gave as good as he got. Ian knew he needed to go home, knew if Mandy had found out about Terry then so had his family and they would be freaking out. But he couldn't bring himself to walk away, he didn't want to, not now he was getting to see this side of Mickey again. He kept telling himself - just a minute longer - and before he knew it the sun was setting and Mickey was walking him home. The way the older boy saw it, Gallagher had been there when he faced Mandy so he was gonna be there when Ian faced his family.

* * *

"You don't have to do this ya know? You've done enough... given enough... at least for one day." Ian tried to sound strong, like he could do this without Mickey, but the reality was he wanted him there. He knew his family would disapprove, knew they would ask questions he didn't want to answer. Questions like 'why him?' and 'what can he possibly offer you?' The thing is he knew the answer to all of those questions but they wouldn't understand because they won't look past Mickey's exterior shell. Hell, Mickey won't let them. And Ian loves that he gets to see a side to Mickey that no one else does, and he doesn't care that it means his family will never get it but that doesn't mean he wants to see the disappointment or judgement on their faces. Not on his own anyway. Because with Mickey by his side he honestly thought he could take on the world. The strength he draws from the other boys presence used to scare him, because he thought he could lose it at any minute, but now he knew better. So he could do this, he could give Mickey this out, let him off the hook for this family confrontation.

Except Mickey didn't want an out. He'd come too far, said too much in front of them all already, whats a little more. He couldn't give the Gallagher boy much but he could give him this. "Not gettin' rid of me that easily Gallagher."

The two walked together in silence, a comfortable and easy silence. They came to a stop at the gate to the Gallagher house and Ian turned to dark haired boy beside him, realising his mistake as soon as he looked into those bight blue eyes, because never before had he wanted to kiss Mickey Milkovich more than right then, he wanted to show him just how much he needed him there, how grateful he was that he hadn't even hesitated to come with him. As if Mickey could read his mind he pushed the younger boy through the gate and flush up against the house, shielded form the road by the steps to the front door. His arms pinned Ian to the wood at his back, he stared into his eyes for just a second before their lips collided. Struggling for breath never felt so good, the passion and intimacy in the kiss was blinding to Mickey. He couldn't think of anything but Ian, his hands found their way into the other boys red locks as he clung on to any part of him he could to keep grounded and keep them together. Ian thrived on the intensity between them, he held on to Mickey's waist with all he had, only letting go to bring his hands up to cup the older boys face as they pulled away.

The silence between spoke the words that neither of them could find, the promise and hope. Once upon a time Mickey would have rejected all of this, Ian would have pretended he didn't want it, he hadn't even known this feeling could exist until he found it with Mickey. But now they had it and they were both clinging on, so together they turned around and silently walked the steps to the Gallagher house. Stopping at the top they both took one final breath before Ian turned the handle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Just wanted to say thank you so much for the nice reviews. Was a bit nervous about posting this but it's been in my head for a while so I had to write it down. It's so nice to get feedback, especially such positive words of encouragement.**

* * *

All the Gallagher's turned to face the door as they heard it open. When Ian stepped in, followed by an awkward looking Mickey, Fiona was first to react. She ran at her sibling and threw her arms around his shoulders. She hugged him until she felt him gasp for breath, loosened her grip and then hugged him some more, she had been beside herself with worry and she just needed reassurance that he wasn't going to bolt again. She needed answers and she wanted a resolution, one that confirmed nothing would happen to her brother. When she was finally sure he wasn't going to vanish or crumble she let Ian go, stepping backwards to look the two boys over. Half looking for bruises and half trying her best to show them her 'no nonsense' scowl, she stared at the duo for what felt to them like hours. Ian inhaled loudly and raised his hands in a placating manner, he was just about to speak when Carl got his words in first.

"You two fuck?" He asked, completely devoid of judgement or repulsion, just curious and almost excited by the prospect of finally understanding all the answers to the questions that have filled his head since the thing with Lloyd, and then the gay foster parents.

Ian let out a shocked laugh, Mickey shuddered behind him and snorted a quick "My fucking god!" as he brought his hands into his hair and swiveled on the spot to face the door. His hands dropped and his face rose to stare at the ceiling, shaking his head he turned his body back to the direction of the Gallagher horde and waited for someone to speak, to move the conversation on.

"Umm not the right time little man," Jimmy patted Carl on the head as he rose from the sofa and walked toward the kitchen, he offered everyone a drink adding that he thought everyone could do with some alcohol before this conversation started. Everyone accepted the offer, even Carl, who Vee gently smacked around the back of the head. The youngest Gallagher members settled for squash. Kev and Lip helped hand the drinks out as Fiona paced the living room. Ian turned to Mickey and offered him a small smile raising his eyebrows when he noticed the older boy was starting to look sickly. Mickey ran his hands through his hair as Ian reached up to touch his shoulder. The contact broke whatever train of thought he was having, he looked into the eyes of the younger boy and nodded that he was OK A 'blink and you'd miss it' smile flashed across his features, albeit a slightly forced one and with that Ian dropped his hand and turned back around to face his, still pacing, sister. Carl and Debbie were in exactly the same position as they had been during the earlier confrontation, kneeling on the sofa staring unapologetically at whoever was talking, Liam perched between them. Fiona came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, one arm leaning on the banister the other placed firmly on her hip. Jimmy stood at her side looking as uncomfortable as Mickey, hands in his pockets, looking anywhere but at the two people in front of him. Kev was leaning on the door frame to the kitchen, Vee stood next to him leaning on the wall, arms crossed and face matching Fiona's no bullshit expression. Lip was hovering in the middle of the room, still looking apologetically at his brother and avoiding Mickey's gaze entirely.

"So, what should I ask about first? How long this has been going on, what exactly is going on, or how the hell you two are alive with Terry Milkovich after you?" Fiona was angry, but the concern in her voice overpowered that and her eyes didn't leave Ian's as she desperately waited for her mind to put her mind at ease.

"Well, we started fucking before he went to juvie the time before last. Not long after Mandy had set him on me for, ya know, messing with her," he spoke light-heartedly but regretted his words as soon as everyone's faces turned to thunder, Lip was the only one who smirked at his words so Ian focused his attention on him, needing to feel something friendly as he continued. "We've been on and off since then, well physically at least. The feelings never really left, even when he was in juvie." Ian turned around to look at Mickey then, he didn't know if he was going to far, pushing too deep for the other boy. Mickey gave him a real smile this time, a short smile but enough for Ian to know that he was OK to continue. "We never labelled it because it was never that simple, but you heard what we said earlier, this," he gestured between him and Mickey, "Is something, something important..." He knew he wasn't getting his message across.

"Something? That's it, that's all you got? Years you've been doing this thing and all you are is 'something'?" Fiona scoffed, she raised her arms slightly to highlight she needed more than that.

"Umm, I dunno..." Ian didn't know how he was going to finish that sentence, luckily he didn't have to.

"We never labelled it because I never let him." Mickey stepped forward and stood next to Ian, shoulders touching. Ian looked to him and smiled, he looked into his eyes and could swear he saw pride their. He knew that as Mickey returned his gaze he saw the same thing, because he was proud, at that moment he was brimming with pride and it was all for the boy by his side. "I don't know if you know me but I have a bit of an anger problem," Mickey continued, his tone was sarcastic but the meaning behind the words was serious. "I'm not exactly the fucking friendly type and when this thing started I made it pretty fucking clear that it was nothing but a fucking hook up." Fiona looked disgusted at the thug standing in her house talking about her brother like he was nothing. But Mickey had a point and Ian reached out a hand to rest on his lower back, moving closer to him so no one could see it. The Milkovich beside him didn't move away from the contact, it was Gallagher's way of saying thank you for taking over, it was his way of saying carry on. So he did. "Thing is, it got real fucking complicated cause it stopped being nothing pretty fucking quickly and I fucking hated it. I dunno if you've met my family but we ain't exactly the tolerant types and being gay wasn't something I wanted to fucking admit to so I tried to make it stay nothing for as long as fucking possible."

"Problem with me is I get under the skin, right Mick?" Ian smirked as he looked to Mickey. No one else would understand the joke, but he didn't care. He didn't care about any of the in-jokes no one would ever get, like how Mickey would cough whenever anyone mentioned Jeremy Irons because when Ian was high once he admitted he thought the actor had a sexy voice. Or how when Ian squeezes Mickey's shoulder it's because he once bit him there during sex, it was the first time either of them had done it because neither were sure if it was OK. Now it's a regular thing and neither can get enough of it. They will never know that the first time they fucked after being caught by Terry, it had been Mickey fucking Ian because Ian hated the thought of that woman being the last thing Mickey had been inside. It was a pathetic thing to think and Ian knew that it was selfish but when he told Mickey the older boy didn't scoff or tell him to fuck off, he flipped them and turned Ian to putty in his arms. After they had come down from one of the most intense orgasms of their young lives Ian had been too out of it to hold back, he'd asked Mickey why. Why they were still 'together' after everything Mickey had gone through for him, he knew his reasons for staying with Mickey but he didn't know Mickey's for staying with him. The older boy just laughed and told him he got under his fucking skin and refused to fucking leave.

Mickey looked down to the floor and smiled, another real smile. He rolled his eyes as he raised his head to once again look at Fiona, a sudden strength and determination filling him. "Something is what we are because it's all I fucking got right now. And I'm sorry but I ain't looking for your permission and I ain't got any answers to give you. I'm fucking working on it, it's my shit to deal with and as long as Gallagher's OK with it then 'something' is what we are." He looked at his Gallagher and remembered the same thing that he knew the red-head was remembering, another in-joke that no one would know. Whilst they were walking from the alley to the roof, where they had found Mandy earlier that day, Ian had made another smart ass remark about being honoured to be someone's something. Mickey, ever the charmer, had snorted and shoved him into the nearest wall. A couple of minutes later though, he whispered so softly that Ian nearly missed it, and even though he had heard he made no comment. Mickey fucking Milkovich had just said "Some-fucking-times something can be every-fucking-thing," but Ian didn't make a big deal out of it, he just smiled wider than he thought possible and carried on walking, fighting with all he had the urge to hold Mickey's hand and never let go.

"And Terry OK with this, is he?" Fiona demanded. Everyone stood to attention at the question they had all been waiting for the answer to.

Mickey had said enough, as he moved to speak Ian grabbed a hold of the back of his shirt and slight shook his head. The dark haired boy got the message and backed away, standing slightly behind the Gallagher as he faced his family. Mickey raised his hand to rest on Ian's lower back this time, hoping it would give him the strength that the younger boys same touch had given him.

"Terry caught us the night I snuck out of the group home, he walked in on us and he reacted exactly how I'm sure you're imagining he would react." Ian leaned back slightly into Mickey's touch as he remembered that morning. "He attacked me, looked like he wanted to fucking kill me, probably would have too. But then Mickey jumped on his back and got his attention. I dunno how many punches he took to the face but when I tried to go for Mickey's room to get his gun, Terry pulled a gun on me instead and Mickey still had it in him to get his dad's to focus back on him. Terry pistol-whipped him and..." He knew he wouldn't be able to finish that sentence, he didn't want people to know what had happened to Mickey, his Mickey. He knew the older boy wouldn't want them to know. So he just shrugged and said "Mickey did what he had to do to get me out of there alive. It sucked, it fucking hurt and I can honestly say I've never fucking hated anyone in my life as much as I hated Terry Milkovich that day, still do in fact. But it's over now, sorted. OK? You don't have to worry about him. If anyone was in danger here I wouldn't mess about, I'd tell you, you do know that don't you?"

A tense silence filled the room as Fiona visibly weighed up her options for a response. Ian want to scream that they had to know that, he couldn't believe they'd think he could put them in danger. As if hearing his thoughts Debbie ran to Ian and threw her arms around his waist. "Of course we know that!"

"Dude, we're worried about you not us!" Lip all but shouted, he wasn't angry though, a little frustrated maybe, but mostly just concerned.

"Look at me," he said smiling genuinely, raising his arms. He almost span around, to give them a dramatic 360 degree turn, but he didn't want to lose the contact of Mickey's hand on his back. So he just swiveled slightly from side to side and smirked, "I'm fine."

"Fine? the other day you come home with a swollen eye and bleeding lip. A couple of days later you were in an even worse state! You said it was just a fight at the ROTC, but according to Lip earlier, you've been slacking off of that, so where the hell were the bruises from? Although I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to that." The eldest Gallagher was glaring at Mickey as she spoke and his hand tensed on Ian's back as he remembered those first set of bruises, as he remembered giving them to Ian. When no one spoke Fiona continued. "Not to mention the fact that for a few days last week you did nothing but mope. You were irritable and grouchy. You didn't speak to us, didn't smile, you were fucking depressed..."

"OK, I get it, I had some off days but I'm better now aren't I? Have been back to my old self for a while now..." He motioned his hands, willing Fiona to deny it.

"That doesn't answer any of my questions Ian!" She retorted.

"I don't need to answer your questions because they aren't important now, it's over, in the past. Just drop it OK " Ian was starting to shout now, how could he tell Fiona where he got those bruises. She would never forgive Mickey, none of his family would. And they wouldn't understand why Ian had.

"You're not supposed to keep things from us Ian, we're the Gallagher's, not the fucking Milkovich's. We don't hide things this important!" She didn't care that Mickey was standing right there, in fact she blamed him, thought maybe he was the reason Ian was so closed off from her now. She hated the thought of losing her brother and in all honestly she didn't think for a second that Mickey was worth it, as far as she was concerned he didn't deserve Ian, and he didn't deserve this loyalty over family.

"You don't know a fucking thing..." Ian started to rant. Fiona's face dropped and Vee looked ready to charge, at who he wasn't sure. Lip knew what this had been building up to so he wasn't surprised, he was hurt. Because like Fiona he felt pushed out by his brother, the bond they used to share was unbreakable, they told each other everything. But now Ian was holding back and Lip couldn't keep the bitterness from his face. Debbie dropped back onto the sofa and gave her arguing siblings a look like she just wanted it to be over, but Carl, ever the sociopath, look liked he was working out in his head who was gonna win.

"You won't tell me anything!" Fiona shouted incredulously.

"It's none of your business!" Ian knew that hurt her, knew it hurt Lip and Debbie. Pissed of Vee and Kev too. But he couldn't think about that, he needed them all to back off. This wasn't about them it was about him. Him and Mickey.

"Excuse me, we're family Ian. We're the ones who have been here through thick and thin! We mean that little to you now, do we? We love you, we want to help, but it's none of our fucking business because HE says so..." Fiona shoves a hand toward Mickey and Ian flinches at her words. She's about to continue when Mickey can't stand the anger that's being directed at Ian because of him.

"It was me..." Everyone stops and stares at him. "I fucking hit him the first time, and I'm the reason he got hit the second time." Ian moves to stop him, opens his mouth to defend him, but Mickey raises a hand and tells him to wait. "He found out I was gonna get married, my dad's bright fucking idea, and he confronted me. Called me out on a few things I didn't wanna hear..."

"So you fucking beat him?" Vee may have said the words but they were all thinking the same thing.

"I fucking lashed out and..." Mickey tried to continue before being interrupted again.

"No Mickey, don't. OK? The only way they'll understand is if you tell them everything and it's too late and I'm too fucking tired for that. They'll get that story another day. When they are ready to hear it and we are ready to tell it. I know I'm not ready yet and I know they aren't because they are too ready to judge you, make it your fault. But it isn't. And when they get that, when they realise that you're not the fucking bad guy here, hell when YOU realise that, then we'll tell them. Then we'll tell Mandy and everyone else who needs to know. Then and only then!" Mickey stared into Ian's eyes as he spoke. He knew neither of them wanted to talk about this, the memory was too fresh. It threatened to ruin the fluid normality they had managed to build up in the last few days. They needed time to relax and get comfortable before they brought that shit up again, so Mickey nodded at the desperate eyes watching him and stepped forward to stand by his lovers side, placing his hand back where it was rested on Ian's torso. Ian let out a breath of relief and smiled at the familiar touch, then turned his head to face his outraged family.

"You don't get it, OK? You won't get it and I can't talk about it yet because it's just too fucking painful to remember. Please just be patient and I will tell you everything, I promise. You are the ones that have always been there and I love you all so fucking much but right now I just need a bit of time. Can you give me that?" He pleaded his case and bore his heart out to his family through the tears that threatened to fall from his desperate eyes.

Silence.

To Ian's relief, everyone's facial expressions softened, except for Carl's which had remained a neutral calm the entire time. Then he noticed Fiona move, shaking slightly she stood up straight, ran her hands down her tired face and exhaled. Her eyes were watering and she bit back a small sob as she opened them to look back into Ian's. "Why didn't you talk to me, come to me? When it was all still happening. I could have helped. I would have understood." She cocked her head to the side and waited for Ian's response.

He let out a joyless laugh and shrugged his shoulders.

"No, Fiona, I'm sorry but you wouldn't have. How could you? You will never know how it feels to know who you are could get you killed. That people can hate you that much for a part of yourself you don't even get to choose, something you have no control over. For you, at base level, it's as simple as meet someone you like who likes you back. That's how it has always been, how it always will be. But for me, for US..." He waved between himself and Mickey, who was staring wide eyed at Ian, but not in anger. His hand tightening it's grip on his back told Ian that this was OK, reminding him that he was there. "None of you could help me with that. The only one who knew, who could understand..." He looked into Mickey's eyes and felt the pull of the habitual smile he got every time he looked into those bright blue orbs, when Mickey faintly smiled back he let out a small laugh because he knew that the other boy's smile was also an unconscious one, giving comfort without even realising he was doing so. "...Was him. And what hurt me the most was knowing that however much I was hurting, he had it worse." He looked back round to his family, "Because while I have you, he has Terry. The one that was doing all the hating, was his own flesh and blood. And I couldn't do a single god damn thing to help him. You really think you can imagine how that feels? To be so damn powerless. To care about someone so much it hurts, but to know that so much as looking at him, talking to him, could get you both killed if the wrong person saw it. Fiona, there was nothing you could do, and I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't even think about it without wanting to just fucking break. Wanting to be someone else, anyone else. No one should ever pray to be someone they're not, you told me that."

Ian paused and Lip took advantage of everyone else's stunned silence. "And now it's all sorted? Just like fucking that?" He said, waving his arms in disbelief.

Ian smiled and let out another chuckling breath. "Yes, because Mickey sorted it, WE sorted it. And now... I've never been so fucking happy to just be me. Isn't that what you all want for me?"

Fiona looked like she was desperately trying to understand. She pinched the bridge of her nose before sighing frustratedly. "Of course it is Ian. I just want to know how this works, how it happened. I want to understand how Mickey fucking Milkovich can be the answer to your prayers?" Her sarcastic tone transformed the comment into a question.

Mickey laughed to himself and both boys could imagine Mandy screaming 'Fuck you' and charging at Fiona with her fists flying. He didn't say anything though, because honestly he agreed with every word. He was as confused by it as they all were but unlike them, Mickey wasn't questioning it anymore.

Ian was still smiling when he looked up from the floor and stared straight into Fiona's eyes. "Ya know, I never used to like being gay. I mean, I wasn't depressed or angry about it. Didn't hate myself. It was just something I accepted and moved on from, didn't really think about. Maybe that's why I was so quick to settle for Kash, because he was a married man who I would never be anything more for than a dirty little secret. That's kinda as good as I thought it got. And then I threatened Mickey with a crowbar and instead of killing me for it he ripped my clothes off."

Mickey snorted and elbowed Ian in the ribs, "Fuck you Gallagher, you did your fair share of the fucking ripping."

Ian acted being in pain from the contact to his ribs, laughing as he looked round to the cringing faces of Kev and Jimmy. Lip's amused smirk and Vee and Fiona's intrigued stare. Carl was laughing and leaning forward over the sofa as if this meant more words would come sooner, whilst Debbie feigned disgust for all of a few seconds then willed her brother to carry on with the explanation, opting to ignore Mickey's interruption.

"Whatever," he laughed, "But you know what," Ian scanned the room to make sure he had everyone's attention because the next part was important. "After that, for the first time I was fucking excited about what I was. Because it wasn't just something to settle for, something that could get me killed. Being gay got me Mickey fucking Milkovich." Mickey shuddered and elbowed Ian again. Ian just smiled and elbowed back. "And I didn't have to settle anymore. I got to fucking live and fight for something. I found out what passion was, I found out what it was like to want something so much it hurt. And it did hurt, so fucking much at times. There were times I didn't think I'd survive it, didn't want to even. And I lost him more times than I can count and each time I just wanted it all to be over because it hurt so fucking much. But now? Now, I wouldn't change a second of it because it feels so raw and so real that I wouldn't want anything else. I've never had to work so hard for anything in my life, but now... I mean, do you even realise how strong I feel when he's there. When I just think about what we went through?"

The atmosphere in the room was unreadable. Mickey rubbed at the corner of his mouth with his thumb, licking the spot when he lowered his hand. Ian was looking straight ahead, stood tall, shoulders raised and hands in his pockets, just waiting patiently for someone to speak. Debbie was grinning from ear to ear, Carl was looking thoughtfully between Mickey and Ian, probably wondering by now which one would win in a fight. The second the word strength was uttered his face screamed for a fight. Jimmy and Kev were back to looking awkward. Lip just looked relieved. Vee's expression was unreadable, but her arms were still tightly crossed and her body language showed that she was ready for the shit to hit the fan, especially as she knew Fiona was not done yet.

"Do you love him?" She asked with no judgement, but completely serious, like this was it, this was everything she needed to hear.

"Yes!" Ian didn't hesitate. At first he couldn't look at Mickey, he didn't want it to be like this when they first addressed the issue of love. But he owed Fiona honesty, and really, he'd been dying to say that for so long, holding himself back because he didn't know if it would make things better or worse. But now it was said and he needed to see Mickey's reaction, even if it was a bad one. He turned his head slowing and caught Mickey's stunned features. His mouth slightly open and his eyes wide. He chewed his thumb nail as different emotions rushed over his face, but he never looked away. Never broke eye contact with Ian. The younger boy raised his brow and smiled, he knew Mickey couldn't say that words but he hadn't run away from them this time either.

"Whoa... Whats with the looks?" Vee untangled her arms and waved one between the still staring boys. Ian reluctantly broke eye contact and glanced at Veronica.

"It's umm... the first time we've really acknowledged that word, first time that counts anyway." He flashed her a smile before looking at the floor.

Silence fills the room as everyone takes in the awkward atmosphere. Fiona looks the most uncomfortable, obviously annoyed by the sudden development. She moves forward and is about to speak, when someone beats her to it.

"It counted before..." Ian shoots his eyes to look at Mickey, who was still chewing on his thumb nail as he spoke, staring at the red-head unashamedly. "It was fucking true then, still true now." Ian was shocked to say the least, they hadn't talked about that day really, the last day that his world crashed around him.

* * *

_That day Ian had cornered Mickey, confronted him about his marriage. Mickey had told him to fuck off, but Ian refused and pushed the issue. He followed when Mickey stormed out of the derelict building he had been drowning his sorrows in. When he'd, once again, told Ian to leave him the fuck alone and Ian had, once again, refused, Mickey asked why. (Or Why the fuck not? - to be more precise). And Ian had answered him as honestly as he could. "You can't marry her, not when you love me." He didn't know why he said it but he needed it to be true. And when Mickey didn't deny it straight away a pang of hope shot through his body and straight to his heart, so he said it again. "You love me, and you're gay." Mickey had hit him that day, twice in the face and twice in the stomach. But what had hurt Ian the most was the blank expression on his face. Like he really wasn't the same Mickey anymore, he wasn't Ian's Mickey anymore. Sure the anger and frustration had been etched into his features before but as he walked away there was nothing and with that Ian felt the finality of the situation for the very first time, and it tore him apart._

_It was days until he saw Mickey again. He, obviously, hadn't been coming to work, no doubt another of his dad's demands. When some girl came into the store a few minutes into his shift Ian should have known something was wrong. She didn't move to buy anything, just stood and stared at him. After a few moments she asked if Mickey was there, when he said no she turned and walked out. 15 minutes later Terry Milkovich walked in._

_"My son is no fag!" He shouted as he approached the counter Ian was sat behind. The red-head was scared but he was stubborn, he had been broken by this man before and he wouldn't show it again. "He's getting married and you're gonna leave him the fuck alone!" When Terry reached the counter he slammed his hands down on it, Ian hoped he hadn't shown just how panicked he was._

_"He told me that himself." Ian tried to sound confident as he gestured to his still healing face._

_The Milkovich patriarch just smirked, "Good, and now you're gonna hear it from me!"_

* * *

_His face was bleeding, his arms hurt and his legs were pinned. The hits kept coming but the pleading had stopped. After the first punch he'd told Terry that he loved his son and that he couldn't beat that out of him anymore than he could beat the 'fag' out of Mickey. When he refused to take it back the hits became kicks and he could feel his consciousness slipping away. Then he heard a sound that brought him straight back to life._

_"Get the fuck off of him!"_

_Terry growled as he looked up. He threw himself to his feet and lunged at Mickey, slamming his son against the door of the shop and grabbing at his throat with one hand, landing a punch to his cheek with the other. Mickey didn't hesitate, he grabbed Terry's head with both hands, pulling it violently forward as he moved his own to headbutt his father. He smashed their heads together with a force that knocked the older Milkovich to the floor. Mickey knew it was a fight he couldn't win, but he didn't need to, he just needed to tire him out, just a little bit. He just needed to slow him down._

_So he straddled his father, bombarding him with punch after punch. He didn't so much as flinch as his Terry flipped them. He dodged the first blow, but the second connected. He reached out and grabbed the heaviest object he could reach and crashed it against Terry's skull with all the strength he could muster. While he recovered from the hit Mickey thrust up his hips and knocked his father off of him. He grabbed the gun out of the back of his fathers jeans as he jumped up and swung round, pointing it at his dad's head as Terry turned to look at him._

_"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" The man snarled at his son._

_"I marry your slut, you stay the fuck away from Gallagher. Wasn't that the fucking deal?"_

_"Paying a little visit to his fucking cousin, scaring him off to save the Gallagher fucking house? That count as staying the fuck away does it?" He snorted as he moved to sit up, he wiped the blood from his mouth as he continued. "This ends today, get the fuck out of my way and that piece of shit will be out of your life for good. You will marry that fucking girl and have a fucking kid even if I have to fucking put it in her myself!"_

_Mickey just glared at his father, face filled with disgust. He shook his head slowly and bellowed with a strength he didn't know he had, "Get the fuck out of here before I pull this fucking trigger!"_

_"You threatening me boy?" His dad didn't look scared, if anything he was more angry than ever, but Mickey wouldn't back down now. He could see Gallagher out of the corner of his eyes and he had to protect him. He couldn't fail him again._

_"Oh the threat comes later!" He snorted, "When I tell you that if you ever go near Gallagher, or any of his fucking family again, I will call up that fucking cop whose brother you killed, the one just itching to put you the fuck away for good. I will give him every singly fucking detail of everything I fucking know about every fucking crime you have ever committed. And even if it means being in the cell next to you I will make sure you fucking rot in jail."_

_Terry laughed a throaty roar of a laugh. "Is that so?" He scowled._

_"Oh that's not it!" Mickey laughed a roar of his own. "Once you're fucking in there, I will let each and every inmate you fucked over, fucking ratted on, stole from, fucking betrayed, know that they are in there because of you. I know they'll need fucking convincing, Terry Milkovich wouldn't rat right? But you know if anyone can fucking convince 'em, if anyone can prove it to 'em, it's fucking me!"_

_"You fucking know what you're saying there Mickey?" Terry was starting to look concerned, he tried to wash it a way with anger but he knew his son, and he knew that look he had in his eyes._

_"Oh, I know fucking exactly what I'm promising. Now back the fuck up out of the store and go the fuck home. Or go to the fucking bar and drink yourself to death for all I care!" Mickey took a step closer to his father to let him know just how serious he was being. His knuckles were going white from their grip on the gun and he made sure that Terry could see from his position that the safety was off._

_"You think you can threaten me and walk the fuck away? You fucking know what this is gonna cost you boy?" The oldest Milkovich wailed as he climbed to his feet. He advanced toward Mickey but the younger Milkovich didn't flinch, he took a step forward of his own. Just close enough that he could feel his fathers angry breath but not close enough that Terry could reach to grab the gun._

_"I know there'll be no fucking wedding, no fucking kid, and no more fucking Russian whores 'fucking me straight'! You wanna beat my ass every time you see my fucking face then fine, but your reasons... stay the fuck between us!" He nodded to the red-head behind him and then stared Terry down once again, not lowering the gun for a second._

_"You really think this'll fucking work?" His anger is back in full force now, but it's different this time. It's almost like it's a defeated anger._

_"You're considerin' it ain't ya? Way I see it you don't have much of a fucking choice!" Mickey retorted without missing a beat. His dad might be angry but Mickey was beyond ferocious. He was angry and determined and he was fucking serious._

_"How long till your brothers find out huh son? I offer you a second fucking chance and this is how you repay me? When the rest of the family fucking find out, I promise you this Mickey, I will lead the fucking way and kill you myself!"_

_"You want me dead so fucking much then just fucking do it." Mickey lowered the gun slightly, but didn't drop his defensive. "But know that the second you fucking do you will be in jail before you can fucking blink!" Mickey could see the togs churning in his fathers mind, he let out a snorted laugh before he explained. "Cause you know that cop I was talking about? I called him already. Told him you'd fucking threatened me, told him I was fucking scared for my life, even told the fucker why. He knows every-fucking-thing. And I've given him every thing he fucking needs to pin it on you if something fucking happens to me. Won't fucking matter who knows if I'm fucking dead, right?"_

_"You are no Milkovich, you are not my fucking son, you hear me? You find a new fucking place to live because the next time I see you I will rip your fucking head from your shoulders. You fucking understand me Mickey?" Mickey spat at his fathers feet and watching him walk out of the store._

_He didn't know what the fuck he was doing, didn't know what to do now. Losing Terry meant he might as well have lost his whole fucking family, no one had his back now and he had a shit load of enemies. He was fucked and he didn't fucking care because in that minute all he wanted to know was if Gallagher was OK. But he couldn't bring himself to look, because if he did he wouldn't be able to look away, so he turned and headed toward the door._

_Ian panicked at the thought of losing Mickey again so without thinking he lunged forward and grabbed the older boys arm. "Mickey?" He whispered, his voice pleading, matching his tear filled eyes. He tried to turn the Milkovich to face him but the boy refused._

_"Don't Gallagher! Just fucking leave it!" His voice was pained, but he was fighting it, Mickey wasn't going to break now, so he turned again and made for the door. Ian charged past him and flung himself into the ex cons path, blocking the door and clutching the keys in his pocket before telling the other boy that the back door was fucking locked so not to bother trying._

_"Jesus Gallagher, don't you ever fucking quit? You were nearly just fucking killed! Do you understand how fucking close you just came?" Mickey needed Ian to understand, needed to walk the fuck away so he wouldn't have to see the hurt in his eyes anymore. A hurt Mickey put there._

_And suddenly everything clicked in Ian's mind. Maybe it was the desperation in Mickey's eyes. Maybe it was the knocks to the head, or that fact that Mickey had shown up at all. Or maybe it was the fact that the older boy was talking about leaving, itching to go but not actually making any attempt to move the younger boy. They both knew that he could easily shove Ian out of the way if he tried, but he didn't, he just stood and stared. Whatever the reason, Ian finally understood everything and he didn't know whether to be happy or angry but he did know that he wasn't moving._

_"That what this was about?" He choked out, gesturing to the oldest bruises on his face. "Pushing me away?" Tears were collecting in his eyes but he didn't care if Mickey saw them, he didn't have the energy anymore to wipe them away._

_When Mickey didn't say a word Ian growled in frustration. "Jesus Mickey," he screamed. "You coulda just told me I was nothing to you! Just a warm mouth remember?"_

_"That of fucking worked?" He asked sharply. Ian just stared, his eyes giving away his answer. No, it wouldn't have fucking worked. Ian could see through all of Mickey's words now, he would have seen through that too. "You needed to fucking hate me Gallagher, you needed to stay the fuck away!" Mickey yelled, trying to force an anger into his voice that wasn't there._

_"And now? Now I don't. He's gone now?" Ian pleaded._

_"Are you fucking kidding me!" The anger was back in an instant. He was no good but Ian kept pushing, wanting him around. It drove him insane because he didn't have the energy to push away anymore. But Ian was too good for him, he needed Ian to leave him behind before something happened that Mickey couldn't take back. "Do you not remember what I fucking did to you? I fucking beat you Gallagher!" Emotion leaked into his voiced and he had to pinch the bridge of his nose to compose himself. Mickey didn't know what else he could do but he knew he was close to just giving in to the boy in front of him. Close to giving in to what they both wanted so damn much._

_"You just fucking saved me!" Ian retorted. "He could have killed you... That's the second time you've pulled him off me, the second time you saved my fucking life!" Ian let out a pained laugh. He ran his fingers through his hair and inhaled a deep, painful breath. He looked at the lost expression on Mickey's face, and when he was sure the other boy wasn't going to say anything, he exhaled and furrowed his brow. "Jesus, did you really call that cop? Tell him everything?" He didn't know why that suddenly came to him but he needed to change the subject and keep Mickey talking, he needed to keep him there._

_"Hell fucking no! Had to tell Terry something though, didn't come here hoping to fucking die!"_

_"Why did you come here?"_

_Mickey could see Ian's eyes beg for an answer that could fill him with hope. He could have shot him down then, hurt him, say something like he helped Terry plan it. Tell him something that would tear the hope off of his face and finally they would both have peace. Instead Mickey told the truth, or the abbreviated version of it. "That bitch he wanted me to marry let slip that he sent her down here to make sure you were a-fucking-lone. Make sure I wasn't fucking here." He didn't tell Ian that he had run here without stopping to think things through, without grabbing a gun or a bat or something to fight Terry off with because all he could think about was what his dad was doing to Ian. What would happen if he got there too fucking late. How he couldn't live in a world where Ian fucking Gallagher didn't exist anymore._

_"Is it over? The shit with your dad?"_

_Mickey shrugged. "He knows when I'm being serious. Fag or not I'm still a fucking Milkovich, when I make threats I fucking mean them! And so does he, he sees me again I'm as good as fucking dead. But he'll leave you alone now, he's not that fucking stupid." And Mickey was being honest, he knew his dad. More importantly his dad knew him._

_"So what's stopping us?" Part of Ian screamed at himself to look at the floor, to avoid the rejection in Mickey's eyes, but he couldn't. He had to see what the other boy thought, what he wanted. And when he did look into his eyes he didn't see rejection, he saw how tired the ex con was. He saw defeat but he also saw a glimmer of something that was just so purely Mickey that Ian knew it meant this wasn't going to break him. And he couldn't help but hope that meant it wouldn't break them either._

_When Mickey didn't answer Ian tried the light-hearted approach. "That girl he wanted you to marry?" Mickey looked up at him with furrowed brows and a confused expression. "She was pretty." Ian expanded, with a smirk playing at his lips._

_"You're fucking weird Gallagher."_

_There was no malice behind the words but Ian was exhausted and the uncertainty was killing him, so he trued one last time to get answers from thug he cared so damn deeply for. "Mickey?" Was all he managed to say. His voice broke and his eyes couldn't contain all of his tears any longer, only a few fell but it was enough to show Mickey just how much Ian needed him to make his choice, stay or go. Mickey pushed Ian gently out of the way of the door and Ian felt the his stomach drop, in that moment he felt sick. He brought a hand up to clutch his waist and doubled over himself, leaning on the counter with the other arm. He was completely broken and in that moment he didn't know how he could possibly fix himself, without Mickey he didn't think he ever could._

_He almost didn't believe it when he heard the click of the door locking and felt the warmth of Mickey's hand on his back. Ian shot up right and turned in one swift movement. The shock evident on his face as Mickey moved to say something. But Ian didn't give him a change. He threw his arms around the tattooed Milkovich and clung on for dear life. Mickey didn't push him away, he was too wrapped up in the warmth engulfing him. He wrapped his own arms around the red heads waist and pulled him closer. He didn't know what was going to come next. He had lost everything, he was without his family, the thing that defined him. But in that moment he had a choice and he chose Gallagher, he chose not to lose the one thing still capable of bringing a smile to his face, a warmth to his battered body. He chose to stay with the boy who wormed his way into his life and turned it upside down, the only person who he thought could help him right it again._

* * *

Snapped away from the memory of that day, Ian looked around his sisters and brothers, his family, before settling his gaze on the oldest Gallagher sibling. "Fi, you want whats best for me right?" She nodded. "Well that's Mickey." He said with such conviction that he challenged anyone in that room to tell him he was lying, tell him he was wrong. He knew how all of it sounded, how ridiculous it must seem to everyone else, but he also knew they could see in face that he wasn't lying. He just needed them to trust him.

"Where the fuck are you even living now? I know you ain't still living with Terry fucking homophobe Milkovich." Lip asked with what looked like genuine concern.

"Been staying at my aunts."

Lip thought on this for a second before he spoke again. Ever the wise ass he smirked at Mickey and said, "Thought Mandy said she was the only Milkovich sibling your aunt could stand?"

"She is, I'm out by Friday." Mickey announced indifferently, like it was a fact of life that family didn't give a shit.

"Only put up with him this long because she was using the extra money to bribe the judge trying her boyfriend's case." Ian smiled as he smirked at Mickey. "That and she assumed it would piss Terry off."

"Does she kn..." Fiona started to say.

"God no, she woulda killed me in my fucking sleep. She just knows there's a reason I ain't at home so helping me out would fucking piss my dad off." Mickey shrugged off the looks of pity Fi and Vee were giving him, he didn't need that from anyone. He knew the hand he had been dealt but he didn't need other people to fucking judge him. He shifted his weight and silently wondered how much fucking longer he would have to talk through this shit with people who couldn't stand the sight of him, and who definitely didn't like the idea of him with their Ian.

Debbie piped up again then, asking Mickey what happens Friday. No one seemed surprised, and Debbie wasn't offended when all he said was "I fucking move."

It was something Ian had been thinking a lot about though, he was worried. He didn't know what Mickey was going to do and he didn't know how to help him, he had tried everything, offering him money for a hotel, a place at the house, a place at a fucking friends house. But Mickey just shrugged him off every time, he refused to take anything more from Ian, just assured him that he knew what he was doing. "Where you gonna go?" He asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Don't fucking start this again Gallagher." Mickey sighed, he shifted his weight again and avoided the red heads concerned gaze.

Despite this there was no distance between the pair, physically or otherwise. Fiona couldn't help but notice the familiarity between them, the ease with which they understood each other, like they knew each other better than themselves. Then she remembered how this all began, how Mickey had known so much more about Ian's West Point dreams than any of the Gallagher's, he knew more than Ian had ever told him. The older boy had figured it out himself, he knew this about Ian the same way that Ian had known what Mickey was going to say before he said it. The same way that Ian knew when Mickey needed space, or when he could be pushed. She didn't know if she liked Mickey, really didn't trust him, but she didn't have to.

"I take it by this you mean Ian's asked you to stay here?" She directs her question at Mickey because although it would be easier to get a straight answer from her brother she wanted to see how the Milkovich would respond.

"Already told him, not a good fucking idea." He raised his arms as if to placate her. As if to assure her that he wouldn't be in her hair any longer than he had to be so she didn't have to worry about getting too used to seeing him around.

She smiled as she looked into his eyes and said, "So? We're Gallagher's. We make a living on bad ideas." She exclaimed proudly.

"Ah but brilliantly executed bad ideas." Lip defended, with his, ever present, smirk. He looked triumphantly around the room and crossed his arms over his chest.

Ian's smile was as wide as ever as he looked around his family, taking in all of their enthusiastic smiles. He could honestly not have been more proud of them all than at that moment and he turned to Mickey as if daring him to refuse. Mickey's face was a mirage of confusion and something unreadable. He let out an over dramatic sigh as he rubbed his face with his hand. "You're all fucking insane," he sighed to no one in particular.

"Well he isn't sharing a bed with you in the same room that Carl and Liam sleep." Fiona said to Ian as she walked to the sofa and scooped the youngest sibling up into her arms. "Lip, you're in your old bed. Mickey, you're in the spare room." She stated with a 'matter of fact' smile.

"Did I fucking agree to this?"

"You saying no?" Ian asked, failing miserably to pull of an insulted look.

"This is a bad fucking idea." Mickey proclaimed as he turned to face the front door again, as if willing himself to leave. Ian didn't flinch, he knew the older boy wasn't going to leave now, not just like that anyway.

"Opinion noted. Now I'm starving and I ain't cooking, who's up for pizza?" Fiona raised her eyebrows and she picked up the phone with the hand not holding Liam to her hip, she threw the phone at Jimmy as she told him he was ordering.

A chorus of pizza orders echoed through the house as Ian gently rubbed his hand against Mickey's, getting the other boys attention. He nodded his head toward the kitchen and silently led the Milkovich through the crowded house and out the back door.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ian asked as he lowered himself to sit next to Mickey on the top step leading up to the Gallagher house.

"For fucks sake Gallagher, can you be any more gay?" He teased, only half meaning it. Mickey took out a cigarette and shoved it into his mouth, he lit it quickly and exhaled a warm breath of smoke as he rested his arms over his knees.

"I could kiss you right now, that'd be pretty gay right?" Ian retorted, smiling as the older boy rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"And sharing a fucking bed in a house filled with your whole fucking family?" Mickey asked without expecting an answer.

Ian knew how uncomfortable this has all been on boy next to him. He knew how far he'd come in such a short space of time and he was proud of him for it. He didn't want to push him too far so he gently touched Mickey's shoulder to get him to look at him. "I can stay in my bed, you can have a room to yourself?" He offered, hoping beyond hope it would be enough to convince him to stay. He liked the idea of having Mickey so close even at home.

"Fuck that!" Mickey shouted. "If I stay, I'm getting fucked."

"If?" Ian questioned, trying his best to sound indifferent, knowing from the way Mickey shook his head that he'd failed. Mickey took out his phone and Ian's heart skipped a beat at the thought of the ex con arranging to stay somewhere else. He swallowed a sigh and asked Mickey what he was doing, trying his best to not sound desperate.

"Texting Mandy..." He looked at Ian with a smirk, turned back to his phone and continued. "Telling her my new fucking address!"

Ian's smile took over his face, Mickey loved that fucking smile, loved even more that he was the reason for it, like he deserved that privilege Ian stared at his lover for what could have been moments, could have been minutes. He got lost in the curve of his lips, how the contours of his face blended so seamlessly together. He stared into those eyes he was so damn addicted to and those arms that felt so fucking good around him. He looked the older boy up and down and let out an involuntary, but content, sigh. Before he could stop himself he closed his eyes and whispered "I fucking love you Mick."

He kept his eyes closed as he realised just how loud he'd said those words. His smile dropped from his face but he didn't frown, he worked to keep his features as neutral as possible as he slowly opened his eyes, hoping against hope that Mickey wasn't looking at him. No such fucking luck.

Mickey wasn't just looking, he was glaring. His face betrayed no emotion, even when he opened his mouth slightly, only to close it again without saying a word. Mickey silently nodded to himself as he bit his bottom lip into his mouth, then he was standing and pulling Ian up with him. He pushed Ian back inside the Gallagher house and spun them so he had the younger boy pinned against the door. He pushed he body as close as he could possibly get it then kissed him for all he was worth. The two boys moved together perfectly in sync, Ian parting his lips the second that Mickey's tongue requested entry. Ian's hands wound round Mickey's body, one resting on his lower back to hold him tightly, holding him close, the other working its way into his dark, black hair. One of Mickey's hands stayed glued to Ian's waist, the other grabbed at the side of his neck, the objective of both sets of hands being simple. Keep the other boy as close as possible. And they fulfilled their function, even when Mickey broke the kiss to come up for air, their hands didn't stray. They leaned into each other, resting their foreheads together as both boys panted and smiled against the others lips. "I fucking love you, too." Mickey whispered, not opening his eyes to gauge Ian's reaction. So the taller boy did what he had to do to show Mickey just how he felt about those words. He kissed him again with a passion that shocked them both. The kiss was deepened almost immediately and soon all four hands were roaming the two bodies, searching for flesh. All too quickly for both of their liking, though, the boys were forced to part. They turned to see the shocked faces a few of the Gallagher siblings and Kev, who had all heard Ian describe the passion he felt but obviously hadn't really believed Mickey was capable of it until now.

Lip laughed as he informed the pair still clinging to each other that Jimmy didn't know what they wanted so he just got them whatever the special was that day. Mickey just shrugged him off and Ian didn't look away from the boy he loved. He was just about to do something stupid like rip the other boys clothes off right then and there when the moment was broken by Carl asking if Mickey was going to kill Frank now.

"What? Why the fuck would I want to kill that piece of shit?" Mickey only half broke contact with Ian to look over at the sociopath standing just inside the kitchen.

"Well Ian said earlier that you didn't kill Frank because he begged you not to, but now he told Terry about you I kinda figured you'd be mad at him?"

Lip realised what Carl was going to say mid sentence. After a cry of 'shit', he rushed to clamp a hand over his younger brothers mouth but it was too late.

Mickey froze, looking down at the innocent expression on the young boys face. Once again everyone was staring at Mickey as he looked from Carl to Ian. Ian met his gaze and held him tighter. His eyes looked frantic and Mickey tilted his head to the side to study them. Mickey was angry, both boys were, it had been a long fucking day and more than anything else both boys were tired. Worn out from all the emotion and the explaining. Mickey didn't even have it in him to care that they were being watched anymore, he knew he should be annoyed that there were people staring at him and Gallagher being this close, touching, kissing, smiling. But he wasn't thinking about any of them, to be honest he wasn't even thinking about Frank. Raising his hand back to the Gallagher's face, he brought their mouths together one more time. Ian wasn't letting him go tonight, this he knew, and whats more is he didn't want him to. Frank could wait until tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Not sure how well this chapter works, but bare with me there will be more :) And thanks again for all of the reviews, mean so much!**

Ian inhaled deeply as he slowly blinked his eyes open. His heart skipped a beat as the first thing he set his waking eyes upon was a sleeping Mickey Milkovich. Then he remembered falling asleep to that same sight and feeling a peace he'd never experienced before. For him yesterday had started like all others. Just the usual day of work, family and a hidden love affair that he couldn't really acknowledge, even to the boy he was sharing it with. After taking a turn for the worst Ian had honestly believed that yesterday would be the day that broke him, that Mickey would leave him for good. But instead, yesterday had been the day that all of his dreams came true. A miracle he had been silently hoping for, but never really daring to believe. Not only did he get to keep Mickey but he got to do it out in the open, well to those closest to him at least. Mickey had said and done things that they both didn't think he'd ever do, and he did them all with an audience, and he did them all for him. Ian had spent of the previous day in a daze, waiting for the punch line. Waiting for the thing that was going to come along and shatter this illusion of happiness they had found, he dreaded it but knew it had to be coming. After all, if something seems too good to be true, well then, it probably is. And the Earth shattering moment had come in the form of his little brother and an innocent comment that would send Mickey into a rage, that would send him running. Only Mickey hadn't run, hadn't even flinched from Ian for a second.

Ian exhaled gently, smiling so honestly that he didn't think anything could break it. He remembers back to the feeling of anger he got when Carl had uttered those words, how that anger had turned to panic when he felt Mickey's arms tense around him. He remembers tightening his hold on the older boy, looking into his eyes, feeling his warm breath. He remembers not wanting it to end. Then he remembers Mickey kissing him, staying with him, holding onto him in front of everyone.

Ian's brought out of his memories by the slight rumble of his stomach. But just like last night, he doesn't want to move, doesn't need to eat. He just needs to be exactly where he is. He leans closer to the ex con beside him, completely closing what little gap there had been between them. Mickey was on his side facing Ian, one arm under his head as he slept soundly, chest rising and falling steadily as slight snores escaped him. The red-head was transfixed, he didn't think that there was a single noise the older boy could make that he wouldn't love, crave hearing like a drug. From the intense moans of sex, to the crisp husky strength of his voice as he spoke, the sounds of Mickey Milkovich was an album on constant loop in the mind of Ian Gallagher.

After they had reluctantly pulled away from each other last night, to sit at the table as the pizzas were handed out, Ian felt like he couldn't breath without the contact. The two boys stared at each other, barely touching the food in front of them. Eventually Fiona had quipped that they didn't need her permission, if they wanted to leave the table they could. Ian wasn't even sure he'd heard her, didn't think he put together exactly what she'd said until much later. All he knows is he dropped the slice of pizza in his hand and he and Mickey had both risen from their seats without breaking eye contact. He'd backed into the living room, Mickey in step in front of him, slightly pushing against his ribs. Neither boy was smiling, both too focused on each others eyes, and lips, to do anything else but want. Once out of the eye line of everyone in the kitchen, Ian lunged forward.

Both boys gasped for breath as their lips crashed together. They fought their way up the stairs, never breaking their mouths apart, both sets of hands searching wildly for the skin beneath their clothes. Slamming each other from wall to wall the pair finally found their destination. Mickey pushed Ian through the door, following him through it immediately and slamming it shut with his foot. By the time Mickey reached where Ian was standing, the younger boy had already taken off his shirt. He grabbed at Mickey's, pulling it over his head before their lips once again connected in a wave of passion and desire. Their hands found their way to each others trousers, unbuttoning both pairs and frantically pushing them to the floor. Mickey pushed Ian onto the bed and pulled of the red-head's boxers before climbing onto him. He straddled his waist as he leaned down for another bruising kiss. Ian flipped them and Mickey sat up so as not to break the kiss when the younger boy moved to take of his underwear. Ian sat in Mickey's lap, his hands clutching his face as the older boy gripped his hips. They stayed liked that for a few moments, kissing roughly and losing themselves in each other Then Mickey closed his arms around Gallagher's waist and flipped them, using his strong arms to guide the red-head back onto the bed. The ex con rose to his knees and positioned himself above his lover.

Both boys moaned deep and desperate as they finally became one. Mickey didn't need time to adjust, he just leaned down and rested his forehead against Ian's, cupping his face as he started to move against the other boys hips. Both boys pinched their eyes shut at the movement, moaning forcefully against each others parted lips. Ian's hands clung onto the older boys hips as his head fell back onto the pillow behind him, leaving his neck open and exposed. Mickey kissed along his jaw, drawing a loud groan from his lover when he gently bit into the flesh underneath his ear. Mickey moved fast, running his hands up Ian's torso, his rocking hips not faltering from their rhythm Both boys were panting hard as Ian flipped them, taking control of the pace. His mouth danced it's way up Mickey's chest and the ex con growled as the younger boys hands and lips latched onto his neck and he arched up into the touch. They continued to flip to and from, taking control from each other only to relinquish it again moments later. They moaned and bit, touched and kissed, until both boys silently begged for release. And when it hit them they came undone, completely together. Their rode out their highs, clinging to each other to keep grounded. And they didn't let go once their orgasms were over, or when Ian slowly pulled out. They didn't let go when Mickey gently laughed and said "Jesus Christ, Firecrotch," or when Ian smiled at the familiar nickname and responded with a laugh of his own. And although they had to alter their hold, they didn't even let go when Mickey rolled off of his lover and lay down next to him. After only a few content minutes they fell asleep, still in each others hold.

Now Ian was lying down next to his blue eyed Milkovich, his head propped up by his elbow on the bed, his other arm resting over Mickey's hip. Mickey's other arm, the one not under his head, was draped across Ian's lower back. Unapologetically they were tangled, naked, together and Ian didn't think he'd ever get enough of it. He breathed in Mickey's scent and fought the urge to kiss him as he gently stroked his hand up and down the soft skin of his thigh. Happy in the knowledge that yesterday was not a dream, that he could do this now.

"If you're gonna wake me up thinking so damn loud, you at least gonna finish what you're starting with that hand of yours?"

Mickey's eyes were still closed as he smirked, his sleep heavy voice shooting over Ian, sending a pulse of energy through out his body. Mickey opened his eyes, safe in the knowledge that his Gallagher was right there next to him.

"You sure you got the stamina to keep up?" Ian teased, an unrelenting smile still spread across his face.

Mickey pushed Ian onto his back and threw himself on top of him, not caring about morning breath, or hunger, or the busy house around them. He kissed the younger boy provocatively, as he held his shoulders in place. Challenge accepted.

* * *

Fiona smiled to herself when she passed the spare room to hear her brother taunting Mickey fucking Milkovich. Of course she didn't want to think about what was happening in there now. She may not be a prude but in her mind Ian will always be her innocent little brother, and although she was proud of the way he was growing up, she was also scared by it. As she walked down the stairs into the usual chaos that was her kitchen at breakfast, she noticed Mandy Milkovich sitting at the table feeding Liam.

"I'm just here to see my brother." Mandy explained defensively, like she thinks Fiona is going to object to her presence.

"Yeah, well I'd give it a while before you go looking for him," she responded, smiling as she organised the lunches for her siblings. "You're welcome here any time Mandy." She added, trying to show her sincerity. She knows the two of them haven't always seen eye to eye but she can understand the younger girls need to be around her big brother, she sees how much her siblings like her company and how willing the young Milkovich is to help with the Gallagher chaos.

"Really?" Mandy snorts, "Skankovich is welcome after all?" She retorts, huffing out a laugh as she hands Liam another piece of toast, laughing with him when they both pull a funny face. She doesn't care about being judged, she's just here for her brother, she can't help wanting to be around him right now.

Before Fiona can react to her words the rest of the Gallagher siblings are screaming lunch order requests at her. Jimmy gives her a sympathetic smile, he gently touches her shoulder as he brushes by her to put his coffee mug in the sink.

The rest of breakfast passes without incident and Fiona is just about to shoo the younger family members out of the house when the kitchen door swings open and in strolls Frank. Fiona and Lip look at each other, obviously thinking the same thing. Hoping Ian and Mickey don't come downstairs to see the Gallagher patriarch there. Mandy was obviously anxious too, but her concern flipped between what the two upstairs might do to Frank if they saw him there, and what she so badly wants to do to him for the damage he's caused. Both to her brother and her best friend.

As Frank searched the kitchen for money, mumbling how after his years of sacrifice raising six kids he deserved some conpensation, and anyway whats his is there's and there's is his, share and share alike and all of that. Fiona tried desperately to get him to leave but that just made him protest further and raise his voice all the more. Lip tried to muffle the sound by making noise of his own, shouting fake instructions for his already waiting siblings to get the hell ready for school.

Mandy growled in frustration and jumped up to punch the already drunk Gallagher in the face, she stormed forward toward the counter he was leaning against but was stopped in her tracks at the sound of her brothers voice behind her.

"Frank fucking Gallagher!" Mickey scoffed from his place on the bottom step. His arms were crossed over his chest and his face was filled with disgust and a threatening rage. Ian stood behind him, hands on his hips and face unreadable. Both boys stared straight into Frank's eyes, who had flinched and turned at the sound of his name.

The man before them shuddered at Mickey's presence, he was scared. As far as anyone in that house was concerned, Frank Gallagher was a fucking coward, but now almost everyone wanted him to run. Because this time the threat was real. This time the threat was Mickey Milkovich, and he could tell by the way Franks face dropped that the old man had worked out just why everyone in the room was looking worried.

"Ah, Mickey," Frank said, raising his hands in welcome, hiding his fear behind mock bravado "Just the man I wanted to see." He smiled as he hesitantly stepped toward the older boy. "I have a business proposition for you..."

"That right?" Mickey cut him up, raising his head slightly and flashing him a sinister grin.

Frank stopped dead, as if just realising the threat for the very first time. "Yeah, I feel like we could really benefit from each other services. You see, I have fallen fowl of some of the wrong sorta people and you are only person I can think of to persuade them to back off..." he slurred. "Of course you will be paid handsomely for your efforts." He said with a cocky grin, like pandering to ego and offering money everyone knew he wasn't good for was all it would take to get Mickey on side.

"Hmm..." Mickey pulls his lips tightly together as he nods head. "Kinda make a habit of pissing off the wrong people don't ya Frank?"

Silence.

Mickey tilts his head to the side and drops his sarcastic smile, morphing his face into something truly predatory. Everyone in the room is holding their breath. Mandy and Lip take steps backward, both, in that moment, feeling entirely too close to Frank Gallagher. Jimmy is standing behind Debbie and Carl, a soothing hand on each of their shoulders, however never of them look scared. Not for Frank at least. Debbie is just staring passed her father, straight at Ian, a concerned and almost apologetic look spread across her features. Fiona has Liam in her arms now, she knows she should stop this, tell them to go outside at least. But she doesn't know how Mickey will react, what she does know is that he has been pushed around a lot these last few weeks, as has Ian, and honestly, it was because of Frank.

Realising that Mickey isn't buying his bullshit, Frank smiles and raises his shoulders, feigning innocence. "OK, let's be smart here Mickey. I know you must be angry, hell I would be too..." he puffs out his chest to exaggerate his point, slamming his hands against himself in mock sincerity. "But... If you think about it... I did you a favour!" He thrusts his arms forward to gesture at the angry boy in front of him. Finding no understanding there, the old man looks to his 'son' standing behind the neighbourhood thug and Fiona can't help but notice Mickey step to the side. He was shielding her little brother, instinctively protecting him, and that look in his eyes says that he would do that no matter who the threat was. Fiona and Lip shared another look, they still don't understand how the pair had survived the onslaught of Terry, but for the first time they didn't need to because they saw everything in Mickey's eyes. Mandy was right, he would keep Ian safe no matter what. The Milkovich girl had noticed Mickey's move too, she looked at her brother with pride, a smirk gracing her lips as she saw the understanding in the oldest Gallagher siblings.

"Really?" Mickey scoffs, getting Frank's attention back to him, he turns to lean against the stairway. Removing his arm to gesture for Frank to expand on his previous comment before tucking it back into place.

The old drunkard was at a loss. He shook his head slightly before running his hand down his cheek. "Well," he offers pathetically, "He was gonna find out eventually." Frank was trying to put on a 'matter of fact tone' as he clung to his last defense. "I just sped up the process... Ya know... Ripped of the band aid." He exclaimed, violently mimicking the act. "Sure your scumbag father was mad, but now... it's over. Your free to live your life without the contraits of an abusive Terry at your back." He ranted proudly, honestly believing he had said enough to appease Mickey. His arms swung back as he leaned his shoulders forward and when Mickey didn't respond he let out a smug laugh, "And, ya know... What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Mickey doesn't have time to react.

He stands there silently listening, hearing the words that Frank Gallagher is spewing forward like fake wisdom. Listening as he acts like a savour, like what he caused was trivial. Like it didn't almost cost him his life, cost the boy he loved his life. Then the images of that day flash before his eyes, and all the days that followed. The loss, the hurt, the fear, the desperation. He sees his own battered body in the mirror as he frantically tries to wash off the blood. He sees his world crumble as he loses everything he'd been fighting so hard to keep. Then he sees Mickey. He sees the other boys face as Terry punches him mercilessly, repeatedly, the way he fights his father for him. He sees the older boys battered face, broken eyes, lost expression. He sees his Mickey weak and vulnerable as the Russian mounts him, hurting him in a way that no one has a right to do to another human being. He remembers the silence between them after that day. The heartbreak of Mickey's almost marriage, the feel of Mickey's fists. But it all comes back to that look in the Milkovich's eyes. Ian's hands bunch into fists as he remembers his Mickey so helpless, so afraid, so alone...

Ian can't stop himself. He pushes past Mickey and lunges at Frank. He hits him with a rage he didn't know he had. It isn't about the times that Frank attacked him, singled him out, degraded him or tried to push him away. No, he hit Frank for every time Mickey had had to feel that feeling. For every time he'd nearly been broken, for how close he'd come to giving up. He straddled Frank's chest as he threw punch after punch, hitting him for every bruise that Terry had put on Mickey's body, for every word he had put in his mouth.

* * *

Mickey didn't have a chance to react to Frank's words before Ian was pushing him out of the way. Mickey saw him knock his dad to the ground. He watched as Ian landed hit after hit. He couldn't see the look in the red-heads eyes but he knew what he was thinking. It was almost exactly the same as what Mickey had been thinking as Frank had spoke, the only difference being while he had focused on the hurt that Frank had cause Ian, the younger boy had been thinking about the pain he'd caused him. Mickey's heart skipped a beat at the thought of being defended so passionately, of being fought for so firmly. He looked at the boy he loved taking on his own father for him, mirroring their roles from in the store a few weeks ago. He couldn't help the pride he felt for his lover, his Gallagher, who was so much stronger than he thought any of them realised. But where Mickey was used to dealing with that intense hatred, that need for fists, where he had learnt to compose himself and draw out the fight, Ian had never had to. This was him losing it for the first time.

As everyone else stood glued to the spot, mouths open and eyes wide, Mickey hurled himself forward and grabbed Ian's shoulders. "Jesus fucking Christ Gallagher." He said as he pulled the red-head off of his 'father', falling to the ground to sit behind him. Ian's bloody hands shook as he leaned back into Mickey's hold. He was sat between the ex cons legs, with his arms raised to shield Frank from view.

"Shit!" Lip shouted after he'd gotten over the shock of his brothers outburst. "Debbie, go get Vee, Jimmy fucking help me." He instructed Jimmy to grab Frank's feet and the two carried his through to the sofa in the living room.

Debbie was just about to follow her brothers instruction when Fiona stopped her in her tracks. "I'll go get Vee, Mandy can you make sure these two get to school?" She pleaded as she moved around Ian and Mickey to get to the back door.

"Course." The younger girl replied. Picking up her bag, she brushed passed the two boys on the floor. Rubbing her hand against Mickey's shoulder she leaned down and whispered "I love you." The statement could have been addressed to either boy as she gently touched Ian's shoulder as she spoke, kissing Mickey's cheek as she rose to her feet. Mickey scoffed at the contact and Mandy smiled before ushering Carl and Debbie toward the front door. Just as they'd reached it, however, Debbie dropped her bag and ran back to the kitchen. She kneeled in front of Ian and kissed his forehead, whispering her own quiet I love you before she turned on her heal and ran back to where MAndy and Carl stood waiting.

"I'll tell the school that Ian's ill or some shit like that." The young Milkovich announced to Lip. She turned around and waved at her best friend, offering another small smile before the three of them left the house.

"Lip!" Mickey shouted. "Get me some damn water and a cloth!" He had his hands on Ian's shoulders, holding him in place against the black haired boys chest. The younger boy had stopped shaking, he had his hands resting on his raised knees as he continued to lean against the ex con, taking comfort in his calm and steady breathing. "Hurry the fuck up!" He bellowed again when Lip didn't answer.

"Hold your fucking horses, I'm coming!" Lip shouted as he stormed into the room, rushing straight to the sink to fill up two bowls of water. He placed one down beside Mickey and tossed him a dishcloth, taking the other bowl and a rag with him back into the living room.

Fiona and Vee stormed into the kitchen as Mickey soaked the cloth in the salty, warm water. "Check on him," Fiona said softly, gratefully, "Then sort Frank out so we can get him up and the fuck out of here."

Veronica nodded as she moved closer toward Ian. "He's fucking fine," Mickey announced, "Just go and deal with that fuck head. I got Ian." And to Mickey's surprise neither woman argued, just smiled down at the ginger haired boy between his legs, then left the room.

"So..." Mickey exhaled, "Remind me never to piss you off Gallagher." He said calmly, smiling down at Ian, knowing that even though the other boy couldn't see it, he would be able to hear the smile on his voice.

Ian just snorted. "You're always doing things to piss me off Mick," he laughed, though his voice sound weary.

"Yeah? Well never again." Mickey had never heard his own voice so calm, so calming. He rung out the cloth in his hands and took hold of Ian's fingers with the other one. He wiped the cloth over the boys bloody digits, pausing briefly when Ian hissed slightly at the pain. Ian dropped his head back to rest on Mickey's shoulder and the ex con continued. He didn't know where this tenderness in him was coming from but he didn't, for a second, comprehend stopping it. Once upon a time he would have snorted, pushed Ian and made a joke. But now, when Mickey had finished cleaning his knuckles, he pulled the other boy in closer and rested his hands back over the other boys shoulders. "You OK " He asked sincerely.

Ian brought his hands up to brush down his face. "I dunno," he stated honestly. "I didn't mean to... Fuck Mickey... I just lost it." He lowered his hands back to his knees and exhaled loudly as he closed his eyes, once again leaning his head back against Mickey's shoulder. "I could have fucking killed him!" He breathed out a humourless laugh. "Fuck... I would have killed him!"

Mickey ran his hand along Ian's jaw and pulled the other boys head around to face him, "Good job I was there then," he said through a smirk. Good job I'll always be there he thought, and by the way that Ian's forced smile suddenly deepened into something real and honest, and beautiful, Mickey could have sworn that Ian had heard the thought too.

"You're not mad?" The Gallagher boy asked, "that I got to hit Frank after telling you not to?" Lining the question with a light hearted sarcasm, but deep down still need an honest answer. Mickey just shook his head, breathing and smiling into the back of Ian's neck as he did so. The younger boy leaned further into the touch and let out a small laugh to stop from moaning out the ex cons name. "You're not... I dunno... Scared of me?" He dropped the smile to look back at Mickey.

"Ha!" the ex con snorted. "Sorry to burst your bubble there Gallagher, but it takes a bit more than that to scare me." Mickey said honestly, he closed his arms tighter around Ian's shoulders as the Gallagher boy let out a soft laugh. "So, I'm gonna ask a-fucking-gain..." The older boy smiled as he pushed his head back into Ian's neck, eliciting a low groan from the boy in front of him. "Are... You... OK...?" He punctuated each word with a bite to Ian's neck and shoulders.

"Oh, I think so..." He growled his response softly. "Question is, are you gonna finish what you're starting with that damn mouth of yours?" Ian leaned further into Mickey, rubbing his lower back against the older boys inner thighs. The ex con let out a husky moan and Ian swung around to face him. Resting on his knees, the red-head cupped Mickey's face as he leaned forward to kiss him. Mickey responded immediately, deepening the kiss as the two boys scrambled to their feet and up the stairs, ripping at each others clothes.

* * *

When they came back down, a considerable while later, the house was empty. Not only was there no Frank but there was also no sign of their earlier scuffle. Fiona had left the boys breakfast on the table, with a note telling them to clean up after themselves because she wasn't a damn chamber maid. And later, as Ian stood at the sink washing up the remains of their meal, Mickey came up behind the younger boy and swung him around. He ran his hands down Ian's torso, when the taller boy made a smart-arsed remark about round three, Mickey just snorted and pushed his body harder against him. He looked into Ian's eyes as he spoke, "You ever need to talk about the shit that happened today..." Mickey held Ian's gaze seriously, "Then just fucking talk to me, OK?"

Ian could have made a sarcastic comment, a joke about sounding gay or some shit like that. He could have laughed, feigning bravado but he didn't. He just returned the other boys stare and whispered "I promise." Because although he had scared himself with his strength and ferocity, and although he hadn't been OK when he was first pulled off of Frank, he had felt the strong hands of Mickey ground him. He felt the security of Mickey's presence, knew the older boy would always be there. And no one was treating him differently, the ex con wasn't mollycoddling him, his family and Mandy didn't blame him, they were all still there and they all still loved him. Mickey still loved him. And Ian knew that Mickey understood, knew why he had pounced on Frank, knew that now he had finally fought for the older boy in the same way that the ex con had had to fight for him. The anger was gone now and all he felt was relief. So he just kept looking into Mickey's eyes, silently convincing him that he was OK then he leaned forward and kissed him, chaste at first but building to more. Neither boy couldn't get over that feeling, get used to that touch, that taste, that bliss.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it took a while but I'm not really sure if I like this chapter as it is, not sure if it feels rushed, but I could keep editing it forever or I could post it and see what you think :) Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey assface." Mandy said happily as she strolled into the Gallagher house without bothering to knock. She was finally getting used to seeing her brother in, what had almost been, her second home. She stopped in her tracks though when she caught sight of him, because she wasn't used to him being comfortable here. Certainly not comfortable enough to walk around topless.

"Don't say a fucking word!" He bellowed before she could make a comment about his state of undress. Mickey was sat on the sofa, feet propped up on the coffee table, with one hand resting on the arm of the chair and the other by his side, caressing a beer.

"There was an accident," Ian explained, grinning un-apologetically as he strode in from the kitchen.

Mandy sat down by her brother as Ian fell back into the chair next to them. "Aww," she laughed coyly as she brushed a mocking hand across Mickey's cheek. "What happened?"

Mickey shook off her hands and waved her away from him, pushing her further down the couch. "That fucking demon spawn..." Mickey answered, waving his beer toward Liam, who was sitting innocently on the floor in front of Ian, chewing on a building block.

Mandy rose from her seat and scooped Liam into her arms. "What could this little angel possibly have done?" She asked sarcastically as she tickled the toddlers stomach, drawing happy laughter from him as he grabbed at her hair.

Mickey just growled and scoffed at the happy display in front of him, so Ian put his arms in the air in a placating manner, laughing as he taunted the older boy. "Now Mickey," he joked, "Use your words."

The ex con shot the red-head a sinister glare before mumbling something unintelligible under his breath, probably a threat, and facing back toward the shitty sitcom re-run on the TV.

Mandy laughed as she looked down at Ian for an explanation. He shook his head in amusement then looked up at the girl still holding his brother. "Liam dropped some..."

"Threw!" Mickey exclaimed loudly. "He didn't drop fuck all, he threw his fucking lunch at me." He protested, "Can still feel the beans in my damn hair."

"He didn't get any in your hair Mickey." Ian scoffed, "If you were that bothered about it you would just take a shower."

Mickey snorted, he was about to respond when Mandy screeched "If either of you even fucking think of suggesting that Ian could join you in the shower, then I swear to god I will throw up on you both." The two boys grunted a laugh as Mandy feigned disgust. She then sat back down next to Mickey with Liam still in her arms.

Liam immediately loosened himself from her grip and crawled across her lap to perch on the sofa next to Mickey, looking pleadingly up into his eyes. "Gallagher, can you control your fucking brother?" He barked out, but Ian just laughed and turned to face the television. Mickey feigned annoyance as he moved his arms to allow the youngest Gallagher to climb onto his lap and mimic everyone else's gaze on the TV set. He warned the oblivious toddler that one wrong move would end in fucking trouble, but the truth was that Mickey was used to the kid by now, enough to not mind the contact at least. The kid had taken to him for some reason and, really how could Mickey possibly hate someone too young to have done anything to really piss him off yet. Honestly, he liked the little brat, he was funny.

A few minutes later the stillness of the house was disrupted by Carl and Debbie charging into the living room, shouting at each other in the way that all siblings do before they calm down and move on without either of them offering any form of apology. When Ian asked what the problem was Debbie just flung herself to the floor in front of him. Carl smiled mischievously as he looked around the house, searching for any signs of an authority figure.

"Fiona's not here Carl, what did you do?" Ian asked, already knowing he wasn't going to like the answer.

* * *

Carl was in the middle of telling his, only semi-stunned, audience how he'd nearly broken a "Fat man's jaw, seriously the guy was a Blue Whale..." and how he would have finished too if Debbie hadn't "Screamed like a girl", when someone pounded on the front door.

Debbie pushed herself up to see who it was as Ian rolled his eyes at Carl's story. Mandy looked strangely proud of the young sociopath and Mickey looked both amused and thoughtful, like he could relate to that story. The female Gallagher reached the door without taking her scornful gaze off of Carl until she absolutely had to, when she opened it her eyes immediately went wide and she tried with all her might to slam the door shut again. But it was too late, the four boys shoved past her, as one yelled, "Where the hell is my piece of shit brother?"

Mickey shot up at the sound of Iggy's voice, making sure to grab a firm hold of Liam as he rose. He turned to pass the infant back to Mandy, having to fight to persuade the unwilling toddler to relinquish his hold on Mickey's neck. He then rounded the sofa to stand defiantly in front of his siblings. Ian, too, had shot to his feet and moved to stand behind Mickey, his face a mixture of worried and angry.

All Mickey could think was that they knew. They knew about him and Ian and they wanted blood. When he noticed Ian standing behind him he instinctively moved to stand directly between his fuming brothers and the boy he loved. He was strong, and despite his brothers obvious ferocity, he wasn't scared, he was determined. He would protect his Gallagher.

But his brothers didn't look at the red-head. Their hatred was directed at Mickey and Mickey alone. Iggy closed the gap between them and swung, his first punch landed but Mickey dodged the second. "You got something to fucking tell us Mickey?" He snorted.

"Don't fucking touch him!" Mandy shouted, now standing next to Ian, having put Liam down onto the chair. Both she and the red-head were both angry and scared, the Milkovich siblings were brutal and they were pissed. With a desperate panic in their eyes, both teenagers moved to step closer but Mickey raised his hand to stop them in their tracks.

Mickey could feel their stares, could see the anger in Ian's pleading eyes even without looking at him, he could sense the concern radiating off of the younger boy. But for the first time since their initial hook up Mickey wasn't scared. He wasn't scared of his feelings, he would fight to defend them. He wasn't scared of Ian, he loved him and he would fight to defend him. He wasn't scared of the truth, everyone who mattered seemed to already know it. He wasn't scared of his family, he would fight them to defend this new life he was just starting to understand. The strength that came to him with the boy standing behind him outweighed their muscle. And their may have been four of them but they fought for a stupid and ignorant prejudice fueled by unjust anger. Mickey may have stood alone, because there was no way he was letting Gallagher or Mandy get involved in this fight, but he was fighting for everything that mattered, he was literally fighting for his world because Mandy and Ian were now all that he had.

"You really wanna fucking do this Iggy?" Mickey growled, leaning forward into a predatory stance, he glared at his four brothers showing them all how serious he was. But as his eyes scoured between the boys in front of him he caught the sight of someone else in the corner of his eye. He saw the petrified look on Debbie's face, and when he turned he saw that same look on Carl. Because even the sociopath seemed to grasp how serious this was, he knew it wasn't fun, he knew it wasn't a game. Then he looked to Liam and saw an innocence he hadn't seen since Mandy was a baby.

It hit him like a tonne of brick as his bright blue eyes looked deep into his sister dark, dangerous orbs. And he couldn't do it, he couldn't take that innocence away from the three youngsters in the room. Not like this, not like it had been taken away from his sister, from himself, at such a young age. Watching violence erupt like second nature, born out of such a loathing and powerful hatred. Seeing such conviction in the eyes of those around them, such eagerness to cause pain to anyone, hell everyone they could find a reason to dislike, no matter how small that reason was, truth be told they didn't need one half the time, content as they were to just make something up. This was the South Side of Chicago, and these kids were Gallagher's, they had seen enough, even done enough already. They would be put through more than their fair share of trouble to survive, they didn't need to see this kind of hatred too.

This kind of hatred that was second, or maybe even first nature to him. Mickey had to shield them from it. He had to protect them from the Milkovich rage that has tainted him. The was burned into him when he was too young to deflect it, too young to know he should. Mickey didn't think he was ever innocent but these three still could be, so, with one last glance into Ian's eyes, Mickey faced his brothers again and dropped his defensive stance. "Because if you do then lead the fucking way, cause we ain't doin' it here."

"Good a place as any," Jamie said, impatiently stepping forward, tapping the baseball bat he was holding in one hand violently against the other.

"In front of fucking kids?" Mickey asked incredulously, a threat in his voice that wasn't missed by the four boys in front of him. "No fucking way. You wanna kill me for being a fag?" He snorted, mouth morphing into a sarcastic smile, "Well they don't need to fucking see it," the ex con shook his head as he gestured to the youngsters in the room. "Outside, now!"

Jamie spat at Mickey's feet as all four of them turned and headed for the door, obviously realising how serious Mickey was, and probably not caring where the fight happened as long as it did happen. But Mickey noticed an almost reluctance in one of them, Joey held his gaze for a few seconds longer than the rest of his brothers. The anger seemed to sag from him slightly when Mickey last spoke, a snippet of something, maybe a memory, flashed across his eyes.

But Mickey had no time to dwell on that. He dropped his shoulders, ignoring Ian's protests as he brushed past him to retrieve his, still drying, shirt from the kitchen, pulling it on as he followed after his brothers, shutting the door behind him. "Keep this fucking door shut!" He yelled back before it had fully closed.

"Debbie, Carl, stay in here and look after Liam. Do not come outside." Ian demanded, pointing to his youngest brother sat on the couch behind him, keeping his voice as calm as he could whilst still showing how serious he was. Mandy was already at the door when Ian sprinted forward to join her.

* * *

"You got your fucking faggot boyfriend to back you up?" Jamie quipped snidely when he saw Ian step out of the house. Mickey half turned his head to see the two nervous figures standing at the top of the stairs to the Gallagher house. His chest tightened, he didn't want Ian, didn't want either of them, to see this. The Gallagher boy had seen so much of Mickey fighting, struggling, losing, he never wanted him to have to watch it again because he knew how much it tore at the younger boy. But he also knew that he wouldn't walk away, no matter how much Mickey wanted to protect him, Ian wouldn't leave him to face anything else alone. The ex con half smiled down to the floor, realising just how OK he actually was with that, before he turned back to face his brothers with a vicious scowl.

"You don't fucking look at him!" He shouted as he moved, as if to block Ian from view. "You got a fucking problem with this? You take it the fuck up with me!" He couldn't make Gallagher leave but he could still protect him.

"Aww, how fucking sweet," Iggy mocked, raising his arm and dropping his hand, thrusting out his hip in his best 'fag pose'.

"We gonna keep fucking chatting? Or you gonna do what dad fucking failed to?" Mickey's voice was now calm, he was ready, he was strong, with Ian behind him he was alive. Noticing Tony's confused expression Mickey arched his body forward and patronizingly expanded, "You gonna try beat the fucking fag out of me?"

With that Iggy and Jamie sneered and lunged forward, Mickey shoved Iggy away and punched Jamie in the face. The good thing about seeing so many Milkovich fights was that they became predictable. Not many people could read his brothers but Mickey could, unfortunately this worked both ways and Jamie easily dodged his follow up fist. Then Tony was there too, then Joey, and fists were swinging wildly. Like all Milkovich battles, this was violent, ugly and untamed. The five of them became a mess of flying arms and swinging legs. Mickey connected more hits than he took, but there were four of them and one of him, he was going to lose.

Mandy was struggling to hold Ian back now. She knew that her brother wouldn't want him involved but he was stronger than her and he wasn't letting up. Finally he managed to shrug off her grasp on his arm, he charged down the stairs and hurled himself at the boy trying to pin Mickey down. Mickey threw himself to his feet and floored Joey with one punch when the latter turned on Ian.

Mickey and Ian fought side by side, as if in sync, they seemed to know each others movements as instinctively as they knew there own, and because of this they were able to use each other. Sure they both took hits, but they guarded each other, had each others backs, protected each other before themselves. And although they had both fought for each other before, this was the first time they did it together, fought as one. And in that moment, despite the lingering pains of each hit they'd taken, neither boy could deny that it felt damn good.

But for Mandy it was too much, everyone she had, everyone she loved, everyone who still cared for her were fighting in front of her eyes. She tried to keep calm, keep her face neutral, hands on her hips, body steady. But her insides were ready to burst. "Stop It! Just Fucking STOP!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

She darted down the steps and pushed the fighting boys apart. The adrenaline was wearing off, even the anger was waning in favour of tiredness now, so splitting them up was not as hard as she thought it would be. She pushed Mickey and Ian to stand on one side of her and her other brothers to stand the other. For a while all anyone did was breathe, breathe and exchange bitter scowls.

"He's still Mickey." Mandy pleaded to her brothers, she was desperate to stop this.

"He's a fucking aids monkey!" Jamie protested. Mickey had to stop Ian from stepping forward to punch the asshole who uttered those words. Neither boy cared about the statement, the insult was expected. No, it was the memory of the last time those words had been uttered, by who and what came next, that was why Ian's blood was now boiling and why Mickey almost didn't stop him, almost swung himself. Because he could see Terry in his brothers face then, he could feel the gun cracking against his forehead, he could remember everything...

"Shut your fucking mouth!" Mickey warned, his brothers scowled back but they knew that look in his eye. That look meant do not fucking push me, that look meant that Mickey would do something they would all regret.

"How long?" Joey asked, voiced filled with, what sounded like, forced anger, because that anger was masking something else, some other emotion that Mickey didn't really know how to place. It almost sounded like desperation. He finally looked up from the floor and stared at Mickey, his eyes betraying his lack of loathing. "How long have you been a fucking fag? How fucking long have you known?" And there it was again, the anger, but not aimed at Mickey as much as it was aimed at the lie he's been living.

"How the fuck long have you known you're fucking straight?" The sarcasm in Mickey's voice was shielding his unease, he was shuddering, visibly anxious and uncomfortable with this conversation. Mickey squirmed and closed his eyes, turning and lifting his head to look at the sky as he pushed his hands through his hair frustratingly.

"So you've always been a fucking fag?" Tony retorted, the rest of the brothers showing their own ignorance as they looked to Mickey for a serious answer to such a ridiculous question.

"Because it's something you can just switch on and fucking off. You can just fucking wake up one day as gay." Ian snorted. He could see how much this was devastating Mickey, he wanted it over, wanted everyone to leave so they could deal with this together. Because Mickey ran from his problems, threw fists at them, anything to avoid actually dealing with them, unless it was just him and Ian. Mickey didn't run from Ian anymore, he didn't lash out, not after the overwhelming grief of the last time, when he nearly broke himself by nearly breaking his Gallagher. No, when it was just the two of them, Ian honestly believed that they could sort out anything.

"Jesus fucking Christ Mickey, you've been queer all of this fucking time!" This time it wasn't a question. Iggy ran his hands through his hair and looked exasperatedly at Mickey, who was obviously having trouble keeping his composure.

"All that means is nothings fucking changed!" Mandy is devastated for Mickey now, she's devastated for her family. She's begging them to get it, to see Mickey for who he's always been. She cuts Iggy off before he can scoff or make a snide remark, before he can say anything at all. "He's the same Mickey he's always been. The same Mickey who's been taking hits for all of us his whole fucking life!" She demands, desperation finally overcoming her. "He was a 'faggot'," she mocks the words with air quotations and a sarcastic tone, "When he took the wrap for you for that fucking ABH charge," she said, staring at Tony, "Because you were so fucking scared of going to juvie. He was fucking gay every time Terry came home fucking drunk looking for a fight, and Mickey deliberately pissed him off so only he got fucking hit." Tears were streaming down Mandy's face now as she looked at her other brothers and could see that they still weren't getting it, so she did what she had to do, she carried on, despite the fact that Mickey looked ready to be sick beside her. "He's the same Mickey who sorted out the fucking bills every time dad pissed away the squirrel fund. Who threatened the guy who was after your fucking blood!" She snarled, pointing now at Jamie. "When dad did fuck all after you came home panicking, Mickey got him to back the fuck off!" She turned to Iggy, eyes now a flame with anger, "When you bust your fucking arm in that stupid botched robbery and dad just told you to stop being a fucking pussy, Mickey got you free medical by blackmailing that fucking doctor!" And with that her head became awash with memories of all that Mickey had done. "He was the one who dealt with mum so we didn't fucking have to, he even distracted dad so he wouldn't that shit out on us. And Joey, he was a 'fucking fag' when he broke the jaw of that douche bag teacher who gave you shit at school. He sorted your fucking probation officer out Iggy. Took care of your skank's fucking husband when he threatened to put your ass in jail Jamie. And he had your fucking back Tony, when you pissed off the wrong group of people and dad hung you out to fucking dry."

She looked to Mickey, who was now staring at the floor, with his head tilted to the side, probably doing his best to blank out everything that was being said. She pointed to him as she turned back to her other brothers and said, "He's been taking hits, literally jumping in front of loaded guns, for all of us since he could fucking walk, because that's what we fucking do, what we all do for each other, because family is fucking everything, right?" She dares her siblings to now reject the motto that had been there code of living since birth. "Us against the fucking world, the Milkovich siblings have each others back because who the fuck else is gonna! But now you dump on him because Terry fucking says so? Our sorry excuse for a father, who has done fuck all for any of us our whole god damn lives?" Her anger has depleted but she is incredulous now, and she's back to pleading.

"It's fucking wrong Mandy, he's bloody gay, it's unnatural." Iggy protests back, but her brothers faces have softened and she can see the conflict in their eyes. But before she can further her point, Mickey looks up from the ground and growls.

"How the fuck do you think I feel?" He asked angrily, honestly. "You think I don't know it's wrong, unnatural, fucking disgusting?" His face scrunched up at his own words. "I had the same fucking childhood as you, same fucking family telling me over and fucking over just how sick it is. I saw every damn fag bashing, heard every fucking smart ass remark, joke was on me though right, because I'm fucking one of them. I'm the god damn enemy, I'm who's fucking sick!" Mickey was shouting now, as loud as he dared without drawing attention from anyone who could overhear, painfully aware of how exposed this conversation was. Thankfully the street was deserted, just the right time of day for people to either be finishing work or starting happy hour at the pub. Looking to his sister, he could see Mandy's heart breaking for him, could feel Ian tense as he gripped the ex cons lower back in that, now familiar, touch. "You think I fucking wanted this? Hell, you really think Terry didn't do his best to beat it out of me the second he fucking found out? You really think I fucking like myself any more than you do right now?" He thumped his hands against his chest to prove his point. He may have accepted what he was but that didn't change his upbringing, all those years of homophobia drilled into him didn't just evaporate overnight. He loved Ian completely but a part of him still hated himself.

"So that's it? You just fucking give up?" Jamie shouted, stepping forward to stand level with Mandy, hands thrusting forward at Mickey. "Give up on being normal, give up on fucking family for him? For a faggy fuck with a god damn Gallagher?"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Mandy screamed, she shoved Jamie back and stood in front of Mickey, shielding him from the disgust now back on her brothers faces.

"Dad gave him a second chance and he walked the fuck away, all to protect that fucking fairy." Iggy exclaimed, both defending and agreeing with his brother.

Ian's grip on Mickey's back tensed further and Mickey raised his hand to rest on the red-heads stomach. Half to calm him, half to let him know he wasn't going to do something stupid either. He was there and his brothers weren't going to pull him away now. Of course, the contact drew the attention of the four other Milkovich boys, who all stared at Mickey's hand resting on his Gallagher like it belonged there. All of their faces contorted into deeper scowls, they looked sickened, pained almost by the sight of that touch. Such an innocent thing to get such a dramatic reaction. But their expression was mirrored by Mandy.

She may have been furious at her brothers but she also understood them. She was not homophobic and she had no problem with her brother being with her best friend, in fact she was glad that two of the people she loved most in the world were able to find comfort together. That was not why she was disgusted. She knew how deeply Terry had drilled into all of the Milkovich boys, she had escaped it because she was a girl, a princess in her fathers eyes. But them, Terry had seen all of his sons as an extension of himself and he shaped them into exactly that. She knew her brothers loved Mickey, but she also knew that they had to hate him now, just like he hated himself, because that was how they were raised, it was all they knew. It's what Terry taught them. She knew that the only way to turn their hatred from Mickey, to distract them from it long enough for them to realise that Mickey was still the same, that they could still see him as the same, was to turn that hatred onto their father. And there was only one way to do that. Her heart sank as she thought about what she had to do, what she'd have to say, but she would do it gladly. She'd let Mickey down before but she'd do anything for him now, for her brother who she loved more than life. Because luckily for her, Terry wasn't the only one who saw her as a princess, who looked at her with protective eyes. Her brothers all loved her, they had her back, even against the Milkovich patriarch. She was, in fact, the only one they would take on Terry fucking Milkovich for.

"He raped me," she shouted, so they would all hear, so she wouldn't have to repeat it. She continued before she had to think too much about the words. "When I got pregnant and dad blamed Ian," she explained, staring at the floor. "It was him, he forgets who I am sometimes, forgets I'm not mum. When he gets too drunk to hit out at you, he comes to find me." Mandy smiled a broken smile and snorted out a pitiful laugh. "He'd never gone that far before and I haven't been around to let him since." She added, finally looking up and staring into Mickey's eyes, trying to convey to him that she was alright. She knew how angry this would make her brothers, but she also knew how furious and distraught it would make Mickey.

"What the fuck did you just say?" She was right, Mickey was seething. His wide eyes had shot to Mandy the moment she had spoken those first three words. His blood was boiling and his whole body shook with rage. He didn't need to look at them to know that his brothers were exactly the same, he clenched his hands into fists as his sister gave him a desperate look. "I'm gonna fucking kill him!" He shouted, moving towards the gate, his brothers following his movements.

"Mickey wait..." Ian pleaded, concern in his eyes. He didn't want Mickey to go because their were only two outcomes to this situation. One was Mickey in a body bag, the other was Mickey in jail for murder.

Their was concern in the red-heads eyes, desperation maybe, but not shock. "You fucking knew!" Mickey bellowed, connecting all the dots as he turned to face Ian. His Gallagher knew about this and had kept it from him. In that moment Mickey didn't know what hurt the most, who he was the most angry at. His homophobic brothers, hating him for something he couldn't control. Mandy, because he'd done the one thing he'd promised never to so, he'd failed her in the worst possible way. Terry for every fucking thing he'd ever done, ever put them through, for ever laying a hand on Ian, on Mandy. Ian himself, the boy he loved unconditionally, for keeping this from him, for knowing how important this was, how much it would mean, and still not saying a fucking word. Or himself, for all the above, for who and what he was. For not being able to control any of it, for failing everybody hes ever cared about. "You fucking knew!" He whispered somberly looking into Ian's eyes. He was defeated and lost but he was still Mickey, and he was still fucking angry.

"Mick... I'm so sorry..." Ian reached up to try and cup Mickey's face but the older boy shrugged off the contact. "It wasn't my secret to tell..." He pleaded.

And Mickey could imagine him saying that to people, over and again, when they asked why he hadn't told them about Mickey, or about what he was going through, where he got the bruises. He could imagine Gallagher using that defense when all he wanted to do was be honest with whoever was asking. But it didn't lessen the blow. "And if I found out something about Fiona, or Debbie and didn't fucking tell you? Would that be a bloody good enough excuse?"

"Honestly..." Ian went to answer that no, it wouldn't have been nearly good enough. But how could he tell Mickey that the only other reason he had for not telling the ex con the truth was because he was scared this would happen. He knew Mickey would react like this, knew it meant he would lose him again. Ian knew how selfish that was but it was the truth and he wouldn't lie to Mickey now. Luckily though, Mickey interrupted before he could say anything more.

"Save it, OK. There is too much shit going on at the same god damn time. We'll fucking deal with this," he said, waving between himself and Ian, "Later." And he meant it, because they had come too far for them not to sort it out. "Right now though, we're gonna deal with our fuck up of a father, so you think you can resist the urge to fucking kill me long enough to do that?" He glared at his brothers, challenging them.

"No one touches Mandy, not even him! Everything else can wait, this is more fucking important." Joey took a step toward Mickey with his arms raised, a white flag of sorts. He turned to the rest of his brothers and silently willed them to agree. None of them needed persuading.

As the brothers headed toward the gate Mickey chanced a look at his sister, for the first time in a very long time, Mandy looked frail. He ran forward and pulled her close, hugging until he could feel her relax into the embrace. "I need you, Mick." She whispered into his ear, begging him not to leave her now, not to do anything stupid.

"I'll be fucking fine. You stay here and I'll be back before you fucking know it." He said, forcing a small smile onto his face, as comforting a smile as he could muster. Then he loosened his grip on her arms and slowly pulled away. He looked over to Ian, standing by her side, arm ready to comfort her the minute Mickey left. He tried to show him with his stare that this wasn't him giving up again, like he did when Frank walked in on them. He was angry but he wasn't running away, he just needed time to lessen the blow. Terry is violence, that's something he can deal with right away, something he knows. But Ian is talking, he's feeling and that's something Mickey has to figure out first. Ian obviously understood because he gave the older boy a knowing look and smiled a small smile of his own, albeit a forced one, just trying to show his support. Mickey just shrugged and turned to walk away. Ian wanted to say more, wanted to know more, he wanted this resolved now because he hated uncertainty when it came to Mickey. His mind jumped to worst case scenario every time the other boy wasn't by his side. But he didn't shout after him or grab his arm, he didn't do any of the things he wanted to because his brothers were watched with sharp eyes and he didn't want to cause the boy he loved any more conflict, any more pain.

To his surprise though, Mickey stopped in his tracks just a few steps away and growled to himself, turning back around the second he realised that now he couldn't leave it like that either. He couldn't leave it that uncertain, knowing just how the red-heads over emotional brain works. So, he slammed himself into Ian and grabbed his face as he smashed their lips together in a quick, sharp kiss. It lasted less than a few seconds but like everything between them it was intense and left them gasping for air. He broke contact as quickly as he made it and sprinted back towards where he brothers were waiting by the gate. When he noticed their expression Mickey shot his shocked brothers a look just daring them to fucking comment. Showing them just how close to snapping he was, all it would take was for one of them to push him further. None of them made a comment though, their anger at their father still fresh and raw enough to out way any reaction to Mickey. They just waited, knowing that they needed Mickey if they are going to confront their father, he was after all the only one of them who'd ever done it before. So, when Mickey pushed passed them and out of the gate, they just followed behind him, no one saying anything at all, until...

"So, whats the fucking plan?" Iggy asked no one in particular, as all of the Milkovich brothers walked down the, still empty, street.


	6. Chapter 6

**Just wanna quickly explain how I've portrayed the Milkovich family, in the episode where Mickey wants to kill Frank and one of his brothers comes in to tell Mickey he's at the alibi, another brother immediately says 'we got your back' and Mickey doesn't hesitate to say 'I know'. That plus the whole thing with sticking up for Mandy when she said Ian messed with her, I kinda wanted to write this like they were closer than they seemed. Like they were from a more screwed up family than the Gallagher's, but that the siblings at least had each others backs. Maybe they aren't quite as close but, ya know, family matter(ed) to them too. **

* * *

"You could do what you said you was gonna... when you threatened him? Ya know... send his ass to jail?" Tony offered.

The Milkovich boys were sat in an alley near their house, trying to decide what exactly they were going to do about their father. Despite the fact that they had been sat there for the better part of an hour, time allowing their nerves to calm and their thoughts to collect, all five boys were still bubbling with pent up anger and frustration. They were getting no where.

"Are you fucking kidding?" Mickey replied, barely raising his head from its perch between his knees. He was sat on the floor, back against the wall, knees up and head down, his hands were clinging to the back of his neck in an effort to keep himself grounded.

"Oh, so it's OK to protect the Gallagher queer you're fucking, but not you're damn sister?" Jamie bites back, furious eyes now pinned back on Mickey for the third time in as many minutes. "You fucking scared you'll have to join him in jail? You're fucking boyfriends worth it but your sister ain't?"

"Seriously?!" Mickey pushes himself up and hurls himself off the wall. "We back to fucking that again?" He spins on the spot, arms raised in his best 'what the fuck' stance, looking into the eyes of all of his brothers. Realising they were stood all around him should have made Mickey feel vulnerable, claustrophobic even, but not now, now it was a good thing. He had their attention. "Say I make good on the threats, say I send him down for fucking life, what the fuck happens then?" He rounds on Tony, who shrugs and stays silent. Then Jamie, who frowns and looks to the floor. Mickey turns to Iggy, "What happens to Mandy then, huh? With no fucking legal guardian she goes the fuck into care. Into some skank filled group fucking home." Iggy returns his fearless gaze but, also, stays silent. "As do you..." He says looking at no brother in particular. "This isn't like the fucking last time, it won't be just a two week stretch that our coke head aunt can fake guardianship for. If we can't even fucking protect Mandy living under the same god damn roof, how the hell will we be able to if she's taken the fuck away." Guilt threatens to betray his stern voice then, the words reminding him how angry he is at himself for letting this happen to his sister. For not seeing it, for not stopping Terry. "And even if we could convince the fucking CPS, the bitch won't take us in, the only one she likes is fucking Mandy but even she's not welcome there now her douche bag boyfriends out of the joint. That just leaves uncle fucking Tommy, good luck trying to convince anyone that retard is guardian material." Mickey pulls his hands down his face and snorts a humourless laugh, "Terry goes, we all fucking go..."

"So what the fuck do you suggest, do nothing. Tough guy Mick in front of your faggy boyfriend, but the minute you gotta back it up you turn into a pussy?" Jamie shoves his finger into Mickey's chest, but quickly backs up when Mickey knocks his hand away and advances.

"I fucking get it, OK. I'm a fucking fairy, a faggot, a queer..." He shouts, shoving back at Jamie, pushing his brother into the wall behind him. "I get it, you don't have to remind me... And after all of this is over you can be fucking done with me. I get that I make you sick, I get that as far as you're concerned I'm not your god damn brother anymore..." He exhales loudly. "But Mandy is still my fucking sister. Just as much as she is yours so pull your fucking head out of your ass. Forget about how much you fucking hate me for a second and focus all of that bullshit on what the hell we're gonna do now. Cause, no, I am not giving the hell up. I'm not chickening the fuck out. But I'm not gonna do something fucking stupid that's gonna end up destroying our little sister even fucking more..." Seeing the hate that's still present in his brothers eyes, Mickey growls a ferocious growl and pushes away from Tony. Turning on the spot to, again, address all of his siblings. "OK, you all got something to fucking say that can't wait? You hate me that much? Well you got five fucking minutes..." He raises his arms, goading any of them to step forward. "Come on, you got five minutes to do whatever the fuck you gotta do, say whatever you wanna say to get that shit out of your systems so we can go back to the matter at fucking hand and deal with our shithead father."

"COME ON!" Mickey yells at the top of his voice when no one else moves, his arms fully in the air, head turning from brother to brother. "Do Something!" He yells again, causing two of his brothers to jump back, the other two to drop their scowls and stare at the floor. "NO?" He questions angrily, he snorts when all four brothers just shuffle their feet and refuse his eye contact. "Well then stop with all that 'queer' bullshit, shut that shit down, you can let it all out again later. Right now we're dealing with Terry, so has anyone got any fucking decent suggestions that don't end up with one of you fuck wits dead or Mandy in a fucking group home?"

* * *

"What the hell Ian..." Fiona shouts, "This how it's always gonna be?"

When the oldest two Gallagher's had come home to find Debbie staring at the door, looking lost and worried, Carl mirroring her expression sat on the couch, she had naturally asked what was wrong. Ian had run in from the kitchen to try and calm the situation but he was too late, Carl had already blurted out that the brothers Milkovich had been round. Debbie elaborated, moving to stand next to Fiona as she explained everything that had happened. Mandy walked in from the kitchen to stand next to Ian and leaned, tiredly, against the door frame, arms crossed against her waist.

"Like what?" It was a stupid question, Ian knows what she means, but he has no answer so he just let instinct take over his response.

"Trouble..." She expands, clutching onto her younger sister as she stared, glaringly, at Ian. "Is Mickey always gonna be bringing trouble into our lives..."

"Fuck you," Mandy retorts before Fiona can finish her sentence.

Fiona just rolled her eyes and looked back to her brother. "This it?" She gestures to their wary younger siblings, "This the life you choose, the boy you choose?"

"Don't start Fi," Ian begged, he was worried about what Mickey was going to do, he didn't want to deal with this right now. And he could tell Mandy felt the same, he didn't want her to have to hear this about her brother right now, she was a mess and she needed comfort, not aggression.

"She didn't fucking start this Ian, your boyfriend did... again!" Lip shot back, "Or am I not allowed to call him that?" He mocked, sarcasm ripe in his voice, he was fed up and he wasn't going to bother trying to hide it.

"This wasn't his fault... His brothers just showed up... What was he..." His pleading got cut short by a huffed out laugh from both Lip and Fiona.

"Yeah, it's never his fault but it's always something." The eldest sibling remarked.

"Are you seriously blaming him for his brothers turning up?" Ian's anger was bubbling again, how was this Mickey's fault?

"Yeah, and who turns up next Ian? His father?" Fiona reluctantly lets go of Debbie when the youngster pushes herself free from her elder sisters grip. She turns back to Ian with her arms in the air, as if trying to get him to see reason. "And whose fault will it be if someone gets hurt next time huh?"

"That won't happen. They were after Mickey, no one here is in danger, they won't get hurt..."

"Yeah?" Lip asked, incredulously, "And what about you? You've been hurt plenty by Mickey... Or are you forgetting the tears, the worry, the fucking bruises?"

Mandy lurched forward and Ian only just managed to grab her around the waist. "You don't know what you're talking about Lip so just drop it."

"He's right Ian, Mickey is no good, this just proves that it's never gonna end with him, there will always be something to run from. Someone after him, hell he's so used to it by now he probably likes it that way," Fiona scoffs, hands now resting on her hips.

"He hasn't done a single fucking thing wrong. And you don't know the first thing about my brother, either of you, so just shut the hell up and keep your fucking judgments to yourself!" Mandy grabbed at Ian's hands trying to free herself from his grip, wrestling to get at Lip or Fiona, itching to shut them up.

"Mandy..." Fiona started but was cut off immediately.

"No she's right." Ian demanded, "You know fuck all about Mickey, you don't get to judge him... And he didn't do anything wrong, I know you won't believe that but frankly, I don't give a shit right now because I have other things to worry about..."

"Exactly Ian, worry, that's all you'll ever do with Milkovich thug number 1 by your fucking side." Lip shouted.

"Oh, because your choice in partner is so much better?" Ian raised his hand to cut Lip off before his brother could respond. "You chose fucking Karen, Lip. The girl you had to spend your whole life worrying about. Worrying when the next betrayal came, about the next slap to the fucking face." He knew bringing up Karen was a low blow, after everything that had happened to her after being hit by the car, but he was right nonetheless. "I will never have to worry about Mickey betraying me, never have to worry about him hurting me the way she did you, because yes he's run in the past but we're over that now. Mickey loves me, I'm more certain of that than I have ever been of anything else, anything except how much I love him. And in the last month alone he's fought for me harder than anyone else ever has. He's tried harder than Karen ever even fucking thought about trying for you. He's fought harder than Jimmy did, harder than Jimmy ever would." Fiona's face dropped, she looked both hurt and angry, ready to either cry or punch Ian. "I will never have to worry about him screwing me over, or leaving me behind" the words 'the way those two did you' were not spoken out loud but the implication was there. And, as if hearing the words was finally letting Ian acknowledge them for the first time, he realised how honest they were, how much he believed them. "Nothing that happened today was Mickey's fault, he did everything he could to protect Carl and Debbie. But you're right, there will be trouble following Mickey, he's a fucking Milkovich, he's grown up with that chaos. He likes to fight, he pisses people off, he's a thug to the whole world, but not to me. I knew what Mickey was before this thing started, he's never pretended to be any different. Never made any promises that he could be. Because that thug you guys will never be able to truly understand, that is who Mickey is. And I would never ask him to chance, not a single thing about himself, just like he's never tried to change me. That's who he was when I fell in love with him, that's who I want him to always be. If that means I gotta worry about shit like how many bruises he comes back with then fine, better that than how many other people he's fucked, or what fucking lies he's telling me."

Mandy smiled her first real smile since her brothers turned up, she dropped her hand and entwined her fingers with Ian's, squeezing tightly, showing him how grateful she was, not just for what he'd said but, mostly, for meaning every word.

"Look, Mickey's not perfect..." Ian said, trying to pacify the situation.

"Not perfect?" Lip shouted, disbelief clouding his voice, "Tell you what though, you're right, I won't ever understand...I will never fucking know what it is about him you like so fucking much." There was still a hurt in his voice that Ian couldn't bring himself to feel guilty for because he was too annoyed at having this same old conversation, over and over like either side think the other will actually listen.

"It's not about him OK, not even about me, it's about us. It's about who we are together!" He said honestly, not knowing how to possibly explain what he means but refusing to give up. "He makes me strong, makes me honest, makes me feel alive, keeps me... well... fucking me! Mickey knows more about me than anyone else, more about what the hell I'm capable of, what my damn dreams are... And he learned all of it without meaning to, without trying, without even wanting to at first. And I know him better than I know myself half the time. That's what we are for each other, we keep each other grounded, keep each other real. We may be fucking opposites in your eyes but that's what we do for each other Apart we, like, drift to separate worlds, separate lives that mean nothing, at opposite sides of life. But together..." He said with a smile, "Together we draw each other closer, meet in the god damn middle and can't fucking get enough... He makes me happy Fi, Lip... he is my life now."

"Ian you're still young..." Fiona starts to say.

"Yeah I am, young enough not to care about bullshit like age mattering a damn. I'm not stupid Fi, I know my own mind."

"And you're..."

"No, no fucking more OK. I'm done explaining this because nothing I can say will be enough and I've said it all before by now anyway. The fact is you're right about one thing only, I am gonna spend a lot of my time worrying, but it won't be because of who Mickey is. It's because of who I am, I'm a worrier, but I trust Mickey with my life and just one fucking look from him and all my worries are gone. I'm not giving him up because you don't approve and I'm not gonna keep justifying myself to you because you won't get it. He's trying his fucking hardest to fit in, to make this easier on me but none of you will budge. You hate him, fine, but you don't get to judge him because if it comes down to it... I'll follow him anywhere, anytime... Every time!" Ian looks down to Debbie when he sees that reassuring smile creep onto her face. He smiles back as he squeezes Mandy's hand tight, turning away from his stunned older siblings and looking into the eyes of his best friend. "They'll be fine Mands, he'll be back, he promised and he knows I'll fucking kill him if he breaks a promise."

And Ian believed Mickey would be back. He wouldn't do something he would regret, he wouldn't do something stupid now, something he couldn't come back from. Ian knew that Mickey wouldn't leave them now, wouldn't leave him. The older boy may be mad at him right now, furious that he kept that secret, but Ian knew from that last kiss that he would have his whole life with Mickey to make up for it. Something in his eyes conveyed that honesty to Mandy and she relaxed her shoulders and raising her eyebrows as she smiled to the floor.

Both ignored Fiona and Lip's protests as they turned back into the kitchen and sat at the table to wait.

"He's right ya know." Debbie said softly after Ian and Mandy had left the room. She was now sat next to Carl on the couch, retrieving her school books from her bag to start her homework. "When his brothers barged in here Mickey shot up straight away, he told them to back off, told them whatever they wanted to do to him they would have to do it outside. Said there was no way he was letting us see that stuff."

Fiona frowned, obviously finding it hard to believe that Mickey could think like that, could care about boundaries, about protecting relative strangers. Lip leaned his arms onto the back of the couch and looked down at his brother and sister sitting there. "You don't have to protect him Deb..."

"Jesus Lip, she's telling the truth. The guy shoved his retard brothers out the door and slammed it behind them. Told us 'to keep it fucking closed'." Carl smiled fondly at the memory, fondly because he saw the strength in Mickey then, saw the strength in Ian when he followed. Yep, as far as Carl was concerned, there was a lot he could learn from these two.

Lip looked back at Fiona, who returned his exasperated stare.

"He's right about the other thing too..." Debbie continued. "You don't try very hard to hide the fact that you don't like Mickey very much. I mean, I'm surprised he's lasted this long without flipping out at someone, not the calmest of people is Mickey Milkovich." Debbie was smiling as she spoke, a fondness present in her voice. When Fiona snorted in response the youngest female Gallagher turned from her books at looked at her sister. "Fi, you asked us to give Jimmy another chance, after the fake double life thing, the leaving and coming back married, the fleeting 'wanna be a doctor again' phase. And we did, because we can see how important it is to you. And Lip, the stuff Karen has put you through in the past and you forgive her for all of it without a second thought. But what... We can't do that for Mickey because he's just a Milkovich thug?"Debbie huffed out a laugh, "Well people in this neighbourhood say plenty of stuff about us Gallagher's too..."

"Oh you against us now too Deb?" Lip interrupted.

"No Lip, but the fact is Mickey hasn't actually done anything wrong, he's stuck to all of our rules, even though they're stricter for him than they are for any of us. He lets Liam climb all over him, even let him draw on his arm in permanent marker that time, when it was the only thing that stopped him crying. Yeah he's temperamental swears too much and hates almost everyone he speaks too, but he loves Ian and he shows it everyday by just staying here with him despite obviously being uncomfortable most of the time. I mean, what will be enough to get you guys to cut him some slack?" Debbie doesn't wait for an answer, she just turns back to her books and focuses her attention back on her homework, smacking Carl's hand away when he reaches to grab a particularly sharp pencil from her pencil case, just on the off chance that he plans on using it as a weapon.

Lip drops his head against the back of the sofa, before raising himself up and turning to walk past Fiona and up the stairs to his room, shaking his head as he moves. Fiona just looks from her sister to the kitchen, to Ian sat talking to Mandy with a smile on his face as she tells him a story from their childhood. She sits down on the bottom step and puts her head in her hands as she tries to take everything in.

* * *

"Fuck this!" Iggy shouts as he turns on his heels and runs towards the Milkovich house.

"Iggy, fucking DON'T!" Mickey yells as he and the rest of his brothers dart after him.

Iggy throws the front door open and hurls himself onto Terry, who is sat on the couch watching TV with a beer in one hand and the other down the front of his trousers. Terry reacts just a little too late, catching Iggy's fist on his cheek. He takes the punch without a flinch though, he grabs his son, flips them and pins him to the couch. He's in the middle of telling his son to calm the fuck down when Mickey charges into the room shouting at their father to get the fuck off of him.

"You say that to me a lot Mickey!" Terry growls as he turns to face his gay son. He eases his grip on Iggy's throat, allowing the boy to gasp for air. Terry straightens up and starts to move toward Mickey, but before he can say anything more his other sons storm into the house. Mickey takes advantage of his father being distracted he puts all of his strength behind a punch that connects with his fathers cheek, crushing his nose as his hand follows through with a force that he hadn't honestly expected. Iggy manages to stumble off of the sofa just as Terry falls back onto it, shaking the dizziness away as he looks between his sons.

"You piece of shit..." Jamie snarls as he moves to stand next to Iggy, who's back on his feet and glaring at their dad.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Terry shouts back, "You defending this fucking faggot?" He questions, violently pointing toward Mickey as he raises himself out of his seat.

Mickey didn't hear the next few words spoken, as he stared into his fathers eyes all he could see was Mandy, all he could think about was what was going through his fathers mind as he entered her room, her bed, her space. He thought about Ian, about that panic he felt when Terry had walked in on them and lunged at the red-head, that same fear when he found out from his almost wife that Terry had gone after Ian again. He thought about all the times he had been to juvie, how when he was there it was one of his brothers that had been taking the hits when Terry got drunk, how it would never end with his father. The constant cycle of violence that had enraptured all of the Milkovich children, trapped them all in a world with only Terry as the fucking guide.

When he sees Terry step toward Joey he loses it, he throws himself forward and headbutts his father for the second time in as many months. His father fights back as he falls and, with Iggy holding the rest of his brothers back, Mickey lets loose on all of his emotions. He takes hits as often as he lands them and can feel the blood pooling at his mouth. Can feel the moisture in his eyes as they try to compensate for the pain in his face. When his dad throws Mickey onto the coffee table in front of the sofa, Mickey only just manages to kick the bigger man off of him. That's when Iggy takes over. As Joey pulls Mickey to his feet Iggy throws punch after punch to his fathers chest and head, connecting only half of them. Terry just laughs as he spins Iggy around and kicks him in the back of the knees, taking his legs out so he falls to the floor hard.

"You fucking touch Mandy again and I will kill you myself!" Jamie shouts as he lunges at his father. Mickey tries to stop him but Terry has already blocked the attack and thrown Jamie to the floor.

"What the fuck has this fucking queer been telling you?" Terry shouts at all four of Mickey's brothers. His brows furrowed in disgust at the implication he would hurt Mandy.

"Oh that's fucking right," Mickey laughs in disgust of his own, "You probably don't even fucking remember. Too damn drunk right?" He spat out as his father glared him a warning.

"Shut the f..." He tried to respond.

"You fucking raped her!" Jamie interrupted, spitting blood onto the floor in front of Terry's feet. "When she got fucking pregnant and you went after the Gallagher boy, it was fucking you all along!" His rage was making him desperate, sloppy, and Mickey knew that wasn't a good combination against a man like Terry.

"He tell you that?" Terry scowled at Mickey, stepping forward like a predator stalking his prey.

"Mandy did." Joey answered.

Terry's face transformed to one of pure horror as he seemed to weigh up what was said, the horror soon turned to rage though, as he threw himself on Joey for even daring to suggest such a thing. Mickey managed to come between the two, pushing his father back enough to squeeze his body between the pair. "Touch another fucking one of my brothers and I will fucking kill you where you stand!"

Mickey was knocked down by another blow to the face, he rolled onto his back in time to see Terry hunch over him with hate in his eyes.

Joey watched, as if in slow motion, he saw his father look at him with ugly eyes, disgusted eyes. Then he saw Mickey push between them without hesitation and remembered what Mandy had said earlier. All of the things she'd said about Mickey being the same now as he ever was, because Joey did remember. He remembered each example she'd given, he remembered the countless others she hadn't. He thought about the Milkovich 'code', his siblings protecting each other when no one else would. He remembered every time any of his brothers had his back, every time Mickey defended him, took a hit for him, helped him without question or regret. And maybe it was wrong, and maybe he did hate this new part of his brother, well he did hate it, there was no maybe there... But... He didn't hate Mickey, not really, he couldn't hate Mickey. Because Mandy was right, he was still the same, still his brother who didn't hesitate and didn't back down. He was still his brother and, despite all of the new awkwardness, the uncertainty, he knew he still loved him, deep down, as much now as he had done yesterday. So he ran.

Terry raised his hand to aim another punch at Mickey's face, when Iggy smashed his foot down on Terry's shoulder, pushing the older man onto the floor as Mickey scrambled to his feet. The Milkovich patriarch laughed loudly, stretched out his arm and reached under the couch. Before Mickey could drag him away the oldest Milkovich had grabbed hold of an old, rusty, tire iron and threw himself up into a standing position. He snarled as he turned to face his sons with a weapon clenched in his fists. It was then that Mickey noticed Joey's absence, Joey who had turned up to the Gallagher's with a bloody baseball bat, he wandered where that damn bat was now that they needed it.

"This fucking butt digger is the enemy, NOT me!" Terry growled, raising the tire iron above his head. "I dunno how he made Mandy say whatever the fuck she said but he's the disgrace, the abomi-fucking-nation, not me. And he isn't part of this fucking family no more!" Mickey tried to hide the flinch that threatened to escape him as Terry moved forward to swing the tire iron at his head...

"Leave him the fuck alone!" was shouted from behind Terry, followed by the unmistakable click of a gun. All five Milkovich's turned to look at Joey, stood in the doorway of Mickey's room with the tattooed boys gun aimed directly at their father. He gripped the gun so intently that his knuckles were white, he wasn't shaking or shying away. He was calm, confident, and fucking serious.

"You protecting this Faggot?" Terry yelled, not lowering his own weapon.

"I'm protecting my fucking brothers, and my sister!" He answered without missing a beat.

"I'm your fucking father boy, you need protection from me?" He asked angrily, honestly not understanding where this was coming from. He didn't waste time wondering though, didn't care. He bypassed the why's in favour of straight up hatred and loathing. The ferocity oozing from his pores like sweat.

In all honesty Joey didn't know where this was going, he didn't have time to think past grabbing the gun. He was as a loss, but he didn't let the uncertainty show.

"Yes!" Mickey answered for him. "This whole fucking family does, so here's whats gonna happen..." He growled at his father. "You're gonna leave, go lick your fucking wounds, and damaged pride. Drown your damn sorrows at the nearest fucking bar."

"That it?" Terry spat out, not turning away from the gun pointed at his head.

"No, then you're gonna keep fucking going." Mickey continued, hoping his father was still too stupid to realise that they needed him, officially speaking, as guardian. Hoping he wouldn't have figured out the kind of leverage he has. Terry disappears for months at a time, no one will question if he isn't around. No one will care enough about the Milkovich children to bother with the CPS, so as long as nothing is official then Terry can go as far away as fucking possible.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me..." the disbelief in his fathers voice was coupled with the anger already present.

"He isn't!" Iggy affirmed, as he stepped forward to relieve Terry of the tire iron now dangling by his waist.

Terry scowled at Iggy but didn't move to stop him as Joey coughed and stepped forward, reasserting his warning by thrusting the gun forward and further tightening his grip around the handle.

"This is my fucking house!" Terry shouted with a ferocity that would usually have had his sons cowering behind him, their resolve stood strong though and he knew then how serious they were.

"And you're gonna fucking leave it," Mickey declared. "Else one of two things are gonna happen... Either he's gonna blow your fucking brains out," he taunted, gesturing to Joey who narrowed his eyes and took a slow step forward, firing off a warning shot just above everyone's heads to show how serious he was. No one worried about the neighbours calling the police because gun shots were regular things in the Milkovich house.

"Or?" Terry responded with a defeated humour replacing the disbelief in his voice.

"Or, we're gonna back Mickey up when he makes good on those fucking threats he made!" Iggy answered before Mickey had a chance to say the words.

Terry stared at the boys surrounding him, eyes moving slowly from one to another, before Mickey snorted and reached into his pocket. He grabbed some money and threw the notes at his father. "That should see you through a couple of rounds..." He sneered at his old man, "Now get the fuck out of here!" He shouted, thrusting his arm towards the door.

Terry growled as he bent down and picked the money off of the sofa, only briefly taking his eyes off of his sons. "This is not fucking over!" He snarled as he backed away to the front door, not bothering to gather any stuff because he meant what he said. "You better sleep with one fucking eye open boy!" He yelled, the comment meant to scare all five boys, but the threat directed mainly at Mickey, Terry pointed to him with an intensity that would have made him shudder were it not for the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

After they heard the smashing of a few bottles, and some other large bangs from any number of the pieces of junk in the garden, they boys exhaled a sigh of relief when they finally heard the gate click shut. Mickey ran his hands through his hair as Joey lowered the gun and Iggy dropped the tire iron on the floor.

"That it?" Tony asked naively, "It over?" He dared to hope.

"No fucking way." Mickey said with a conviction that had Tony shuddering at the prospect. "You all got places you can go?"

"Why?" Jamie responded, looking both confused and frustrated, knowing that they hadn't really resolved anything.

"Because he could come back at any fucking time so it's best not to be here when he bloody does!" Mickey pointed out. "This shit ain't over and now he's fucking angry, so no one stays here until we're sure he's fucking gone and even then you sleep with one eye open and all doors fucking locked."

"So what the fuck was the point in any of this?" Jamie is angry again now and Mickey, Joey and Iggy all huff out agitated groans, while Tony looks plain worried.

"It bought us some fucking time to figure out what the hell to do next." Iggy explained frustratedly.

"How much time?" Tony asked, sounding almost desperate.

"Depends how long he stays scared of Mickey's fucking threats," Joey said calmly, he walked over to his brothers and placed the gun down onto the coffee table.

"Depends how fucking long it takes him to realise how god damn empty they are!" Mickey deadpans.

"Then what?" Jamie asks, taking a step toward Mickey and looking straight into his eyes, showing him the anger still there.

"By then we'll have figured out a more permanent fucking solution." Mickey shot back, almost sarcastically, taking a step forward of his own.

The tension was mounting again and Tony took a step away from his brothers. Mickey could tell that Jamie was getting ready to move, to do what he wasn't sure, to punch him maybe, to yell at him...

"I can stay with Megan," Joey said, trying to distract the quickly angering boys, "Her old man's fucked off with his missus, got the house to herself... Sure she wouldn't mind putting up any of you up as well?"

"I got someplace." Iggy responded.

"Well I haven't..." Tony almost shouted, looking back to Joey.

"Well that's fucking settled then, Jamie... What about you?" He looked at his brother, who was still staring daggers at Mickey. Unflustered and unafraid, Mickey stared right back.

"This..." Jamie said, pointing to the spot their father had just left from, "Doesn't change fuck all. You're disgusting, a fucking pervert... And you ain't my god damn brother!" He snarled before turning on his heal and waltzing out the door.

Mickey didn't react, didn't flinch away or sigh. His heart broke at the look in his brothers eye, the loss he felt the moment he realised just how serious Jamie was, but he wouldn't let that show. "Anyone else?" He said calmly, raising his hands in question, looking around at his remaining brothers.

Tony's expression contorted in disgust, he spat at the floor by Mickey's shoe and turned to walk away, growling 'fucking aids monkey' under his breath. He didn't leave the house though, just made his way to his bedroom to collect whatever he needed to take to Joey's girlfriends place.

Mickey couldn't help but grimace at that particular phrase. He closed his eyes and slightly tilted his head up and to the side, before controlling his emotions and opening his eyes to look at Iggy, silently asking for his input.

"What you are Mickey... It ain't natural... It ain't OK..." He looked like he was going to say more but, instead, just sighed an annoyed breath and followed Jamie's lead, walking out of the house without a backwards glance.

Mickey clenched his lips together as he looked toward Joey, who had, until now, stayed perfectly silent. The two boys just stared at each other for, what felt like an eternity, Mickey was starting to drop the forced indifference from his face. His eyes betraying his plea as he silently begged Joey to say something, anything. And Joey wanted to, he really did, but he couldn't, because he had no idea what to say. He had remembered all those things that Mickey did, and he did know that deep down he couldn't hate him... But he couldn't accept what he was, he could hate that, he would always hate that his brother was gay. Hating that was all he knew, all he understood, and he couldn't stop, not just like that.

Joey let out an exasperated sigh as he lowered his head to break eye contact. "Sorry man..." He whispered, shaking his head, not sure whether he even really meant for Mickey to hear it or not. And with that he turned away from his brother and walked to the door, stopping only to yell for Tony to hurry his fat ass up. Tony bolted to his side carrying a duffle bag over his shoulder and the two walked out of the door without a glance at Mickey.

When he heard the gate click for the last time Mickey stumbled backwards, releasing a painful breath as he felt the air knocked out of him. His whole life was defined by his family, he loved them more than he could ever admit and now they were gone and he had no one left except Mandy. He knew that should be enough, that his sister would always be by his side and that should count for every thing. But it didn't, not in that moment. In that moment Mickey was alone. Alone in a house that held so many memories, memories of pain and suffering, even fucking rape, memories that he wanted to forget. To forget in favour of the good times, playing poker with his brothers until three in the morning, drinking and laughing with his family as they swore and ranted at each other, anything to avoid showing that they gave a shit. All of which was redundant because they knew they would always give a shit, it was what Milkovich's did for their own. Only now they really didn't, and those memories hurt even more than the painful ones because the promise of them, the stability behind them, was now broken. Shattered and disregarded. And Mickey was lost, and broken, and by himself. He stumbled back, onto the floor, he pushed himself up against the wall behind him and sat with his knees raised and head in his hands, angrily running his fingers over his moistening eyes, determined not to cry. And then his phone rang...

Ian... His name flashing on the screen of Mickey's stolen phone like it belonged there, like it never had to be anyone else. Mickey stared at the name through his now blank expression. He stared at the name of the boy who had cost him all of this, Mickey hadn't felt anything before, never for anyone but family, not until he met his ginger haired Gallagher. He stared at the name as his tense features started to relax against his will. His wide eyes softened of their own accord and Mickey let a single tear fall as his mouth twitched into the beginnings of a barely their smile... "Hello?"

"Mickey? Look, I'm sorry I called, I know you got stuff to deal with, I just figured if you were busy you wouldn't answer ya know? And I'm not checking up on you, I know you'll handle every thing, and I know you'll be back soon... Not that you have to rush back if you don't wanna... You know I'm just... Fuck... I just... I'm impatient OK? And I just wanted to hear your fucking voice I guess..." He said in one breath, huffing out a small sigh as he finally finished.

Mickey, for his part, just stayed silent. He listened to Ian, listened to that voice. That fucking voice that Mickey hadn't realised he so desperately needed to hear, that instantly made things just that little bit more bearable. Mickey tilted his head back against the wall behind him and closed his eyes, one more single tear falling. Knowing that no one was there, no one could see, Mickey allowed his mouth to smile again, properly this time, small and quick, but a proper smile. "I'm on my way..." He said softly.

Ian hesitated, "Mick, I love you..." He said, knowing something was wrong, immediately understanding what it was because it didn't take a genius to figure out how his brothers were going to react. Trying to reassure Mickey that it wasn't all for nothing.

Mickey jumped to his feet and sped to the door, he marched out of the house and down the steps, because Ian was right. It wasn't for nothing. That pit in his stomach that still ached with the loss of his family, that was nothing now, not compared with the ache he felt, the pure need to see Ian, to touch him. To reassure himself that he was there. He was still angry as hell that the younger boy had kept this secret, but they both knew it didn't matter because whatever Gallagher's reasons Mickey would forgive them, hell he would forget them soon enough. Because Mickey's life felt like it began and ended with Ian now. He loved his family and he already missed them, still felt the pang of loss from earlier, but Ian made that OK. Ian gave it all a reason and Mickey knew that to keep his brothers he had to lose Ian and that was something he couldn't comprehend. Something he could not and would not do. Mickey would choose Ian every time and knowing that didn't take the hurt away but it stopped the feeling of being alone because Mickey knew he would never be alone. And suddenly the power was his again because he chose this, he chose Ian and he didn't regret it, not for a second.

Mickey was only half way back to the Gallagher house when he saw a familiar figure rushing toward him. A figure that made him quicken his pace, urgency overtaking him, a feeling so intense it was blinding to both boys. Ian had known something was wrong and he just couldn't wait any longer, he heard Mickey's voice and it echoed through him like an tidal wave, shattering his self control. He needed to see Mickey, to touch him, to reassure them both. So he darted out of the Gallagher house, telling Mandy to wait there, which, thankfully, she did. There could have been a hundred people in the streets around them and Ian wouldn't have noticed, or even cared. Luckily though, the streets were empty, and the boys crashed together, dragging each other into the nearest back alley. When they stopped at the end of it Mickey spun Ian around and shoved him against the wall.

"Are you O...?" Ian tried to ask but Mickey cut him off in a kiss that was just so them, the passion and desire seeping from there entwined bodies as hands roamed and lips collided. They both pulled the other impossibly closer, it should have hurt them but neither complained because the contact was what they wanted, needed. Right then and there it was all that was left in the world.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm just here for my brother... And I ain't going fucking anywhere till he gets back..." Mandy barked at Lip after his latest over-dramatic exhale obviously aimed at making the young Milkovich uncomfortable. She raised her head slightly from where it had been resting in her hands, her elbows propped up on the kitchen table. She tilted her head and gave Lip a glare that challenged him to argue.

Before Lip could respond though, the front door flung open and Mickey charged through the living room and into the kitchen. Mandy jumped up and into her brothers arms, she clung on and nestled her head into his neck. Ian entered the kitchen a few moments later, leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes fixed on the hugging Milkovich's in front of him, a small smile tugging at his lips. Lip returned the milk to the fridge and turned to face his brother, resting one arm on the counter separating the kitchen, the other hand on his hip. "He OK?" He asked, voice dripping with fake concern and unsubtle sarcasm.

"Fuck you." Ian replied, eyes not looking away from Mickey and Mandy, who were still clinging to each other, swaying slightly from side to side. Their was no anger in Ian's words though because he was more focused on the sight before him than on his brother. He laughed to himself because he knew the hug was lasting too long for Mickey, knew the once affectionate swaying was now more Mickey trying to end the contact and Mandy refusing to let go. He couldn't blame his best friend, if Ian had his way the two of them would still be back in that alley they had all but collided into, a tangled mess of limbs on the dusty floor. He too had been loathed to let the older boy go, just to have to share him with the world again.

"Nice..." The older Gallagher responded, "Fi went to get some stuff for dinner, hope you didn't work up to big an appetite..." He quipped before brushing past his younger brother, slinking into the living room and throwing himself onto the couch.

"Is Mickey back?" Carl screamed from upstairs.

"Yeah!" Ian shouted back, still not looking away from the boy he loved, who had now managed to push Mandy back far enough that he could look at her. The two were silent but it looked like a whole conversation was passing between their eyes.

Carl hurtled down the stairs into the kitchen and flung himself into the chair Mandy had just gotten out of. "Kill anyone?" He asked Mickey, smile on his face and eyes pleading for details.

Mickey broke eye contact with his sister, looked down at the sociopath beside him and huffed out a laugh. "No," he said calmly, "Got a good few hits in though."

Carl's eyes lit up and Ian could see the questions forming a queue in his brothers mind. But he could also see the questions in Mandy's eyes and her need was greater, so he pushed himself off of the door frame and marched to his brothers side. He pulled him out of the chair and said "Living room... Now." The smile on his face told Carl that he wasn't in trouble and the two made their way to join Lip in front of the TV.

"We'll finish this later..." Liam said as he turned to face Mickey again, gesturing a finger between them, his tone turning the statement into an, almost desperate, question.

Mickey turned and smirked at the future brawler. "Sure, whatever kid," he exhaled before dropping his smile and turning back to his sister.

"Oh yeaaah." Carl smiled as he jumped onto the sofa next to Lip, making sure to bounce as much as possible and generally annoy his oldest brother. Smirking wider when Lip took the bait and swung to smack him softly around the back of the head. Ian shook his head as he lowered himself in the seat next to them and turned to face whatever shitty program Lip was watching.

* * *

"Smoke?" Mickey asked his sister, eyebrows raised and face lowered to find her eyes that were still staring at the floor. She closed her eyes and nodded her head gently, turning on her heal and making her way out of the back door. She sat on the top step leading up to the Gallagher house and drew her knees to her chest, resting her head on them as she slowly turned to face where Mickey had now sat beside her.

"How much do you know?" She asked softly as Mickey took out two cigarettes from his pocket, putting both to his lips, lighting them then passing one to her.

Mickey exhaled smoke, furrowing his brow as he reached to put the lighter back into his pocket. "Not fucking enough and too fucking much..." He said with a small laugh, he turned to face his sister, raising his eyebrows as he tried to soften his, naturally stern features.

Mandy huffed out a laugh at the reminder of a previous conversation where the tables had been turned. She didn't know what to say though, didn't know what she could say because all she wanted to do was ask him what had happened, what would happen next, but she was scared of both answers and she knew her brother wanted to talk about this first, so she just took a long drag of her cigarette and looked back to the floor.

"He doesn't fucking remember..." Mickey said, half to fill the silence and half to urge his sister to talk to him, not knowing how to start this conversation but refusing to let any more go unsaid.

"Figures," she choked back, laughing a dry laugh and bunching up into herself. "He was always too fucking drunk to stand, yet alone remember any fucking thing the next day..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked honestly, trying to keep calm with the rage still in his veins every time he thought about why they were having this conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me you were gay and fucking my best friend?" She retorted without missing a breath.

"Not the same thing." Mickey said sternly, nudging his sister in an attempt to draw her gaze to him.

Mandy exhaled and she looked into her brothers eyes. "I know," she replied sincerely. Because it wasn't the same, Mickey kept a secret that he thought would cost him his life if anyone found out. Why did Mandy keep her secret? Was she ashamed? Did she not know if anyone would believe her, if anyone would care? Maybe she was loyal to her father in some depraved way. Mandy had thought of a whole bunch of reasons she could use, fear, manipulation, regret, pity. But all of these things seemed so stupid now, so untrue, utterly ridiculous as she looked into her brothers deep eyes and saw nothing but warmth and loyalty, trust and caring, all of it directed straight at her. She smiled a small, apologetic smile and said, "I dunno, I guess I didn't know what would happen if you guys knew, I didn't want anything to change... I didn't want our family to change because it's the only fucking thing we got, fucked up as it is, it's ours... ya know... mine... I didn't have anything else..." She was all but sobbing now, clinging onto herself like if she let go the world would drain away around her. "But then everything changed anyway... And they weren't gonna fucking stop..." She closed her eyes, tears fell and her head dropped back to her knees as she remembered her brothers attacking Mickey, hating him so resolutely.

"We're all alright..." He interrupted fiercely yet desperately. He wanted to tell her it was OK, it would all be fine, from now on nothing would hurt her, but he didn't know any of that, he couldn't make promises he didn't know if he could keep. So he told her what he did know, what he knew she needed to know. "He fought back, hit us all a bout a-fucking-bit. Just bruises though, nothing that won't heal..." He turned her face to look into her eyes. "We did what we had to do and now dad's fucking gone... We're all alright and we're all still here... You don't lose any of that... None of that fucking changes." He had to drill the point home, had to make sure she understood.

Mandy stared into her brothers eyes and knew he was telling the truth. She was relieved that he didn't hate her, that none of them hated her, or blamed her, none of them would give up on her now she needed them all so fucking much. "And you? You still got our fucking brothers? Any of that changed for you?" She asked because it wasn't just about her anymore.

Mickey dropped his gaze and laughed a joyless laugh. He ran his hands through his hair and bit his lip as he turned back to Mandy. "I've had fucking years to deal with this shit - with what the hell I am... Can't expect them to deal with it any fucking quicker." He tried to sound convinced, sincere, OK. He tried to hide his disappointment, keep the pain out of his voice. Mickey smiled at Mandy and tried to reassure her of this latest lie - that everything was fine and as it should be.

He wasn't sure if she believed him or if she just knew that he wanted her to because if Mandy didn't believe her brother then she didn't let it show. She smiled a small smile of her own then leaned into her brothers shoulder and exhaled a drawn out breath. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax as she listened to Mickey explain exactly what had happened with their piece of shit father.

* * *

"So can we expect any visits from other pissed off, grudge holding, Milkovich's?" Lip asked over the television, not looking at Ian, in fact not changing his position at all.

"Really wanna have this fucking conversation again Lip?" Ian replied without so much as a glance at his brother.

"No!" Carl shouted from his place between them. He turned to Lip. "Please... No more..." He exclaimed dramatically, running his hands down his cheeks as he stood and marched up the stairs, huffing with every step.

Ian followed his younger brother with his eyes, a small smile playing at his lips, proud that his brother had addressed Lip and not him, effectively telling the oldest Gallagher boy to shut the hell up already. He looked over to Lip, who was now returning his gaze, and tilted his head, Ian raised his eyebrows, daring the older boy to continue with that line of questioning.

Lip swung his feet off of the sofa and rested his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward and looked into Ian's eyes. "Promise me you know what you're fucking doing!" He all but shouted.

Ian didn't miss a single beat before replying with absolute confidence, "I do," he said calmly, assuredly. "Never been more sure of anything."

The two stared into each others eyes for a few moments before Lip visibly relaxed. "O-fucking-K," he returned, he lifted his legs back onto the couch and returned his eyes to watch the television.

"OK?" Ian asked, daring to hope that Lip would drop the attitude towards him now.

"OK." Lip said again, an acceptance behind his voice that had Ian smiling from ear to ear.

The two had relaxed into an easy silence when Mickey and Mandy re-entered the house. Ian immediately rose from his seat and met the two in the kitchen with an inquisitive expression plastered on his face.

"Everything's fine." Mickey said, knowing he didn't need to expand, not when Gallagher could read him like an open book anyway. Ian nodded once and walked over to rest a reassuring hand on Mandy's shoulder.

Before he had a chance to raise his arm though Mandy turned and punched him square in the chest. "Next time I'm driving myself fucking crazy with worry, waiting in your goddamn house, surrounded by your fucking judgmental family..." She sneered, "You come straight fucking back and put me out of my damn misery..." She exclaimed, raising her hand again. "You do not fucking stop for a quickie in a stinking fucking alleyway!" She shouted.

Ian raised his hands placatingly, he turned to see Mickey smirk and shake his head. "Alright, alright." He laughed out as an impatient Mandy moved to hit him again.

"Fucking good... So what happens now? I take it Mick's told you every-fucking-thing already?"

Ian just nodded as he leaned back against the counter dividing the kitchen. Mickey had explained everything on the walk from the alley back to the house, he had tried to hammer home the threat Terry had addressed to him before he left, but Ian wasn't worried. Like Mickey, he knew that Terry wouldn't be reckless enough to risk prison, not whilst he still believed in all of Mickey's threats, and Terry knew his son better than to doubt him, knew how far he'd go to protect his own. Ian smiled to himself when he realised, once again, that he was Mickey's own.

"You're not staying at home, got someplace to go?" Mickey responded immediately, forcefully. Now leaning against the back door with his arms crossed, Mickey was talking to Mandy but seemed unable to look away from Ian, his face carrying emotions Mandy knew all too well from the Milkovich family.

Realising what was about to go down between the dysfunctional pair stood either side of her, Mandy quickly replied with a "Yep," and a smile. She looked between the two boys who had now stopped trying to look away and were now staring straight at each other, without so much as a blink between them. "Ummm I'm gonna just... yeah... we'll talk later..." She said as she pointed to the living room and quickly let her feet follow the direction of her finger.

Fiona walked in through the front door just as Mandy walked in from the kitchen. "Yeah, I wouldn't go in there for a while." She said to the oldest Gallagher when she made to brush passed her.

Fiona snorted and continued to walk towards where the two boys were being eerily quiet, probably still staring, waiting for the other to make a move.

"I would listen to her Fi, the way Ian was studying the god damn door the whole time Mickey and Mandy were out there, he was obviously waiting for some kind of conversation. Knowing Mickey, and knowing what he just found out today... It ain't a conversation I wanna be part of I'll tell ya that." Lip said lightly, with no malice or judgement in his voice.

Fiona turned to look at her brother with furrowed brows, she was about to respond when they heard the first words spoken and she realised that Lip and Mandy may have a point.

* * *

"How fucking long?" Mickey asked, not moving anything but his lips.

"Too long to have a good excuse why I didn't tell you..." Ian replied honestly.

"Well you got five fucking seconds to think of one!" The older boy shouted, still not altering his position.

But Ian didn't have an excuse, not one Mickey would accept, not one he'd understand. And Ian knew he was in the wrong here, knew that if anyone had known something like that about his sisters, or his brothers for that matter, and not told him... He would kill them, he would hate them for not letting him protect his family. But that didn't change the fact that Ian had his reasons, they were selfish and they were unfair on the Milkovich boy, but they were his only reasons, unfortunately he stayed lost in his thoughts for a moment too long for Mickey and before he could voice them the older boy was shouting again.

"Nothing?" He bellowed, pushing himself away from the door. He could see Fiona in the living room, could see her trying to discreetly watch him, he knew that this wasn't gonna help with getting her on side, her or Lip. But in that moment he couldn't bring himself to care. "She's my fucking sister Gallagher!"

"We back to that now?" He shouted back. In the wrong or not Ian was just as stubborn as Mickey, and dealing with the Milkovich boy for the last three years had taught him to be just as quick on the defensive.

"You really wanna turn this a-fucking-round? Make this shit about me... my fucking issues? Really?" Mickey yelled incredulously, thrusting an arm up and waving it toward the red-head in front of him.

"No..." Ian sighed out, pushing himself away from the counter and running his hands down his face. "Look... I know I should have said something..."

"Yeah, ya fucking think?" Mickey was leaning forward on the table now, eyes fierce and tone demanding.

"I just... She seemed fucking fine, alright? She seemed OK... hell she made it seem like it wasn't a big deal..."

"Not a big deal?" The dark haired boy yelled loud enough to make the three people in the next room jump in unison. "Are you fucking shitting me?"

"No... no... I didn't fucking mean... Look she had me, she had fucking Lip... She didn't stay at your dads anymore... I thought it was fucking handled!" He protested back, mind scrambling for an explanation that his mouth seemed unable to deliver.

"Nothing was fucking handled Gallagher, you shoulda fucking told ME!" He accentuated the 'me' by thrusting away from the table and taking a step forward. Fire still burning in his eyes.

"What so you could fucking handle it?" Ian retorted snidely, without missing a beat. "So you could go after Terry, fucking kill him or get killed in the process? Jail or fucking death, that you handling it?"

"That what fucking happened today?" Mickey didn't miss a beat either.

"Mick... I didn't..."

"No!" The Milkovich interrupted, "That what this was fucking about? Keeping me where you wanted me... Fuck Mandy as long as you had your god damn fuck buddy to play with?"

"Fuck you..." Now Ian was genuinely angry. Screw blame, that was unfair. "Cause I had you exactly where I fucking wanted you, hiding in the back of a god damn store room... pretending I didn't exist outside of fucking on a god damn roof!"

"Yeah I'm the asshole, I know... Stupid fucking me for not wanting my homophobic god damn family to find out... Turned out so fucking well when they did!" He waved his hands in the air as he spoke but the sarcasm in his voice barely masked the hurt behind the words.

"Mickey..."

"She's my fucking sister Ian!" Mickey didn't let Ian finish the sentence because he couldn't hear anymore of their past. He knew Ian could use how Mickey had acted as a weapon and he didn't want to hear it because he knew how true it was. He knew he was an asshole back then, knew Ian should have given up a long time ago, knew Ian deserved so much better so much more. But Ian didn't give up and Mickey was really trying to give him what he couldn't then, be the more that Ian deserved. But this wasn't about them, this was about Mandy. "Fucked for life, right? I ain't your fucking brother Ian, I'm no damn genius. I don't wanna join the fucking army and fight for my god damn country... I'm her fucking brother, that's what I am... What I've always fucking been. The only thing I've ever been fucking good at my entire god damn life and it was my fucking job to make sure shit like that didn't ever happen to her. Except, turns out I couldn't even do that..." He ran his hands through his hair and drew his bottom lip into his mouth. "You fucking knew, for how long? And you didn't say a god damn thing, didn't let me make it right. You knew how much I would've wanted to know that shit, knew how fucking important it would be and you still said bloody nothing because why... Because you didn't want me to do something stupid...? So what your fucking telling me is, she had to deal with that shit alone because I couldn't be damn well trusted to help her without fucking screwing things up more?"

Mickey had to move from sight of the living room, had to get out of Fiona's eye line He didn't want her to see how this made him feel, that this made him feel. Ian had seen so much of his feelings now that Mickey didn't even think about hiding them from him. Didn't ever want to. Feelings, he had always been taught and so truly believed, made him weak but now, with Ian, he honestly thought feelings actually made him strong. Ian seeing the whole him and still wanting to stick around... how could that make him weak when it filled him with such courage, such fulfillment Ian got to see this side of him because he got to see this side of Ian, and when he saw emotion on the red haired boys face he didn't see weakness, he saw his life in those eyes. Those fucking eyes that Mickey couldn't help but stare into, never wanted to not be able to stare into. Ian would always get to see his emotions now because Mickey always wanted to be able to see Ian's, but Fiona... Lip... even Mandy to an extent... they couldn't see him like this. So he took a step to the side and turned to face the wall. For the first time breaking eye contact with Ian, he held the back of his neck with his hands and turned his face to the ceiling and just breathed, tears threatening to sting at his eyes.

"You think I don't know how selfish it was?" Ian spoke softly now, eyes filling with moisture as he leaned forward on the spot, poking himself in the stomach as he leaned toward Mickey. "You think I don't know how fucking selfish I was?"

Mickey just exhaled again and turned to face his Gallagher, hands still gripping onto the back of his own neck.

"I fucking know. And I feel like shit... Mickey I know I let you down, let Mandy down... All because I didn't wanna lose you again. You were still in juvie when I found out and honestly, I didn't know if you'd even see me if I tried. Then you came out and I had you again..." He closed his eyes and scrubbed them with his fingers. "I know how selfish it is Mick, I know how pathetic I sound right now... Believe me... I know," he scoffed the last bit. Ian didn't want to admit just how easy it had been to not tell Mickey, he had managed to forget their was anything to tell him after a while, because he got so lost in having his Milkovich back that the rest of the world got shut out. He hadn't done it to hurt the older boy, hell Mickey was right he should have said something because he knew how important Mickey took his family. But at the time that didn't even cross his mind because he was so wrapped up in falling for the boy that he forgot all outside distractions. And the guilt he felt for thinking of Mandy as a distraction twisted his stomach, but it didn't compare to the feeling of Mickey. The feeling of Mickey by his side, the fear of him being snapped away again. The loss he was so scared of, the ache he got every time Mickey was away from him, that longing to just have him back. So yeah, Ian knew how stupid he had let himself be, but he also knew deep down that he didn't regret it. How could he when Mickey was stood in front of him now, albeit angry, he was stood in front of him and everything was right. He knew now and he hadn't done anything reckless or stupid, and he was back by Ian's side. And while the younger boy was still feeling the guilt heavy on his shoulders, he was also washed down by relief, by the beautiful site of Mickey stood in front of him. His Mickey, his, angry, hot tempered, bad mouthed, worse mannered, heavy handed, god damn gorgeous, forever loyal and fiercely devoted, Milkovich.

"The problem wasn't that you'd failed Mandy, Mick... The problem was that I knew you wouldn't fail her... And I didn't know how to let you go, not again. So I kept my mouth shut. Convinced myself that it was for the best... Cause not only did I get to keep you but so did she and she was safer with you around... It was no fucking coincidence you were in juvie when this fucking happened Mick." Ian knew how patronizing that must have sounded but he stared into Mickey's eyes, those deep blue orbs that were now solely focused on him. He tried with everything he was to show Mickey just how sincere he was being, that he wasn't just saying what he thought Mickey needed to hear but that he knew every god damn word to be true. "I should have trusted you then to not do anything stupid... but honestly, I was too fucking scared to..."

"You didn't trust me?" Mickey's voice was calm now, quiet, for Ian's ears only. His hands arms were now hanging loosely by his waist and his body was turned to Ian.

The younger boy didn't say a word, just bit his bottom lip and hesitantly shook his head, so gently that Mickey almost missed it.

The older boy closed his eyes as he breathed a deep breathe, he opened them as he exhaled and asked, "You trusted me today?"

"Yes." Ian replied quickly, honestly, assuredly.

The two just stared at each other, gauging the others reactions, before Ian spoke again. "I trust you with my life Mick."

And there was no lie in what Ian had said, Mickey knew that from the younger boys face, from his eyes, from his tone. He knew that from the last couple of months, what they'd been through, what had been said and done. And then it hit him like a tonne of bricks, he realised he wasn't angry. He'd been angry pretty much all day but for the last few minutes, without him even realising it, all the anger had gone and this had stopped being about anything else and it had become about him and Ian again. Like every fucking thing always did. Mickey rolled his eyes at that thought but he knew it was a good thing, knew that as long as it was about the two of them then it would be OK, they would both make sure it was OK. He smiled a small small as he shook his head from side to side. "And I trust you with my sisters." He all but whispered.

That was all it took, that was all he had to say to make Ian charge forward and throw himself at the older boy. Their lips crashed together as Ian's arms wrapped themselves around Mickey, one settling on his hip, the other hand in his hair. Mickey's hands clutched at Gallagher's neck and head with a force that should have been painful but Ian made no attempt to wriggle free of the hold. Both boys seemed to be trying to envelop the other, smiling into each others mouths as the kiss turned almost playful and light. Mickey shoved at Ian's shoulder when the younger boy tried to tickle his waist and the two laughed into the kiss both boys readjusted their holds. Like always with these two the kiss almost immediately turned passionate and intense again, each boy clawing at the other, craving the feel of flesh.

The pair stayed wrapped up in each other for as long as they could before realising where they were, but, as always, when they reluctantly pulled away it didn't seem like the contact had lasted nearly long enough. Ian sighed and Mickey grunted as the two leaned their foreheads together. The older boy was just about to make a sarcastic, and probably highly inappropriate, comment when they heard a frustrated voice from the living room. "Can I get in there and get the dinner on already? Debbie and Liam are gonna be back soon." Fiona didn't wait for permission before she walked into the kitchen and dropped the shopping bags onto the counter top, Lip was right behind her with another bag. Fiona said that they had things they needed to discuss, motioning to Mickey when she caught Ian's confused reaction. Mandy was stood in the doorway with a smirk when she told Fiona to join the fucking queue and soon Carl was charging back down the stairs asking if Mickey was ready to continue their talk yet. Mickey smiled an exhausted smile and shook his head, still resting against Ian's as the two refused to break eye contact, "Jesus fucking Christ," he muttered.

Ian snorted and pushed Mickey around the table slowly, grabbing his arm as he opened the back door and dragged Mickey outside, shouting back to the inhabitants of the Gallagher house that they would have to wait because right now Mickey was all his and he needed a fucking smoke. When he had shut the door behind them though, he didn't move to take out his cigarettes instead he turned to Mickey asked softly, "Roof?" The red-head knew that Mickey needed space from everything that was going on in the house, from the judgement and the family that wasn't his. And as much as Ian liked having Mickey living in his house, with the people he loves, he also liked it when it was just the two of them and privacy wasn't something you got in the Gallagher abode. He missed having Mickey to himself so yeah, fuck it, all the talks that the two should be having with various different members of both families, they could fucking wait.

"Roof." Mickey confirmed, raising his eyebrows and thrusting his tongue into the corner of his mouth, a smirk already playing on his lips. And the two set off down the street, racing and battling, as if they had not a care in the fucking world. Because all that guilt Ian had felt had been washed away the instant he saw Mickey relax, smirk, smile, the instant he saw him forgive. An then he'd said it, words more important to Mickey than any other he'd ever utter. Because as silly as it sounds, you can't choose who you love but you can choose who you let in, who you trust. Ian knew Mickey trusted him, he wouldn't let him in otherwise, but to say those words... After everything that happened today... to hear Mickey say that he still trusted him with one of the most important things in his life, something much more important than his own life... Ian loved Mickey and Mickey loved Ian and in that moment both knew that the trust hadn't been broken, they knew that they had found their new normal and that it was perfect, because it was all encompassing, it was beautiful, it was effortless, unconditional and it was forever.


	8. Chapter 8

Catching their breath, Ian and Mickey lay on the dirty floor of the abandoned building that had become one of many secret spots for them. Uncaring for the dust and dirt accumulating on their clothes and in their hair, both boys lay staring up at what remained of the ceiling. They were lying with their heads next to each others but their bodies facing outwards, in opposite directions. Ian was so close to the older boy that the top of his head was almost touching the Milkovich's shoulder, something that at one time would have bothered him, now he didn't flinch a way, just stayed in his position and wallowed in the after glow.

"Well there's no blanket and no stars... But I'm still counting this as a win for me." Ian laughed between breaths, not turning his head to face the boy next to him, only briefly flicking his eyes towards Mickey before returning them to focus on the crumbling shapes above. Ian had one hand resting on his stomach, the other laying on the ground beside him. His mouth was contorted into a glorious, satisfied smile and his eyes were beaming with a brightness that seemed impossible for the South Side of Chicago.

Mickey snorted out a breathless laugh as he rolled his eyes and fought the urge to look at the red-head beside him, he didn't need to look to know the expression Gallagher was wearing. "You start picking out dogs in jumpers and I'll fucking take you down Gallagher," he retorted.

Mickey had both hands resting on his stomach, fingers intertwined. The seemingly blank expression of his mouth was betrayed by his glowing eyes. He was more relaxed than he had been for as long as he could remember and for the first time it hit him. He wasn't hiding from anyone anymore, everyone who mattered knew who he was, sure they had reacted exactly how he had dreaded they would but they knew now. He had no one left to run from but himself and he was done with doing that, done because of the self satisfied shit head next to him. He let out another snort of laughter, "Fucking hell," he whispered out, unconcerned whether he was heard or not.

"What?" Ian responded immediately, smile still splitting his face.

Mickey breathed out a disbelieving laugh, "What the hell have you done to me Gallagher?"

Ian wasn't sure if Mickey had meant to say that out loud or not but he noticed that the older boy didn't tense when the words came out, his breathing didn't hitch and his expression didn't falter. So the younger boy rolled onto his knees, smile still clinging to his cheeks, he leaned down on his out stretched arms, face hovering above Mickey's. "Still wanna cut my tongue out if I kiss you?" He asked in his best seductive voice.

Mickey's eyes locked with Ian's, their irises dancing together for what seemed like forever, before a smirk made its way onto the dark haired boys lips. Torturously slowly he leaned up so his lips were almost flush against the red-heads, and as Ian's eyelids slid closed Mickey's smirk became a smile. He breathed against the younger boy for a while, holding his face in his hands, lips teasingly, agonizingly close. Ian's smile was gone now, replaced by a pleading look of longing, longing for the contact to be made once and for all, for the kiss to be sealed. So Mickey lost his own smile as his wide eyes fell to Ian's lips and he finally pulled slightly on the back of the younger boys neck, bringing his head down closer to his own. Ian let out an involuntary moan as he felt Mickey's thumbs brush against his cheeks, the touch of the other boy still burned his skin, radiated his body with yearning, he craved that touch even now, even when he had the possibility of it almost 24/7. Ian's eyebrows furrowed with desire as the boys lips finally touched, a barely their chaste kiss that Ian was desperate to deepen. Just as the younger boy was about to open his mouth to extend the contact, Mickey tightened his grip on Ian's face, turning his head is one swift movement. He licked down the red-heads cheekbone and bit him square on the chin, his smirk re-emerging the second he pulled away to rest his head back on the floor. Mickey may be whipped but he was still a Milkovich, a vicious little shit with a mean streak a mile wide.

Ian's eyes shot open as he rolled back into his position on the floor, frantically wiping the moisture off his cheek, "Jesus Mickey," he bellowed, feigning annoyance as he fought back the smile that was tugging at his lips. Overjoyed at the playfulness they had re-found, both boys found more energy than they had had for a long time, Ian reached up and punched Mickey in the shoulder, hitting him a second time when the older boy just scoffed and told him he hits "Like a damn girl."

The pair stayed in that building until darkness had long taken over the South Side, they stayed there fighting and fucking, making love and playing, they talked and laughed and debated the important things. Things like who would win in a fight - John McClane or Rambo - "Man, Fuck Rambo." They shared a cigarette that neither bothered to finish when a fight broke out between them over which was more bad-ass - Predator or Alien - "Man, Fuck Alien." The fighting led to fucking and the cigarette was left, discarded and forgotten on the dusty floor.

Cell phones were ignored and the outside world was pushed aside as both boys forgot about what awaited them in it. Forgot about the shit storm that had been their lives for the last few months since that, very public, conversation in the living room of the Gallagher house. The conversation that started it all, outed Mickey and pushed the boys closer together, instead of breaking them apart.

* * *

"Alright, I'll give you John McClane... Hell, I'll even give you Predator, even though Aliens are bad-ass .. But seriously Mick? Michael Myers? Over Freddy Krueger? Myers over Jason Voorhees - yes... But Freddie kills you in your fucking sleep." Ian shoved at Mickey's shoulder to accentuation his point. The boys were slowly making their way back to the Gallagher house, slowly being the operative word as every few steps one boy will either stop to feign shock at what the other has just said, stop to emphasize a point, or stop to push the other boy into a wall... dustbin... oncoming vehicle...

"So stay the fuck awake, find something better to do... OR just stop being scared of the fucker and then he's powerless. Myer's is the ultimate killing machine, little shit was killing his family when he was younger than Carl... And sorry Gallagher but you can't tell me that mask didn't freak you the fuck out when you first watched it?"

"Krueger has a knives for hands..."

"Myer's is fucking huge and he walks faster than you can run..."

"Freddy doesn't have to walk, he just appears out of the blue..."

"Yeah so long as you're asleep... And so long as before you fell a-fucking-sleep you were scared of dreaming about him. Face it, the guys kill factor is limited."

"So's Myer's, he only kills family." Ian stops again to fight his point, determined not to give in this time he holds his hands in the air and raises his eyebrows to dare Mickey to argue.

"Yeah and any, and every fucker who gets in the way, or just happens to be around at the time... Guys ruthless." Mickey turns to face his maddening red-head. Neither can get over just how important these conversations seem at present. Natural stubbornness overruling the logic telling them just how pointless the argument is.

"Argh, whatever." Ian relents with an exasperated sigh, Mickey's smile tells him the older boy knows he's won again. Ian has always known there is absolutely no point trying to outlast a Milkovich in an argument, regardless of the severity of the subject. But that doesn't stop him getting suckered in every time, determination filling him for a few moments, a small amount of time where he honestly believes he can win. Then boom, one look at Mickey's thick set brows, dead calm eyes, and generally unrelenting aura, and Ian knows, the moment of hope passes and he knows he's going to lose.

The defeated younger boy shrugs off Mickey's placating, and somewhat patronising shoulder bump. He starts walking again, brushing past the older boy, whose smug smirk is blinding, the smirk that Ian hates to love so much because it means he can't even be pissed off at losing yet another debate. Mickey snorts out a laugh and follows the Gallagher's movements, the two boys continuing their journey home. The comfortable silence won't last long though...

"OK... Dawn of the Dead... or Land of the Dead?" Ian stops again, ever the glutton for punishment.

Mickey's smile encapsulates his face, something Ian will never admit he loves about the smaller boy, through fear that he'll stop smiling just to piss him off. He turns to face the questioning Gallagher, who returns his smile with an enthusiastic grin of his own, eyes arched in a quizzically. An underlying message of 'you better get this answer bloody right Milkovich'.

"That's fucking easy, Land of the Dead... Fucking Dead Reckoning?" Mickey protests with his hands in the air, spinning on the spot as if to ask the imaginary crowd of people surrounding them for confirmation.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Ian asks incredulously, how can two people so in love have such different opinions on... well... everything. Everything trivial anyway. "Dawn of the Dead, Mick... Zombie babies..." His face screams 'need I say more' as Mickey turns to keep walking, both boys already know the outcome of this conversation.

* * *

"I don't wanna go home yet..." Ian said to break the silence they had fallen into.

"You're house is like ten steps away Gallagher, you couldn't have said this before?" Mickey stops his movements and holds a hand out in front of Ian to halt the red-head as well.

"When we go back there... things turn to shit, every thing gets loud and everyone has a fucking opinion... I'm just not ready to deal with that again, not yet." The younger boy exhales a deep breath and turns to look at Mickey, shrugging his shoulders when the older boy arches his brows.

"They'll all be a-fucking-sleep by now?" Mickey retorts calmly, lowering his head slightly as he moves forward to look into Ian's eyes, trying to read the emotions there.

"Or they'll all be there waiting to pounce the second we walk in the door?" His voice was tired, defeated almost. "Come on Mick, you can't tell me you've been enjoying your time at the Gallagher house...?" When Mickey doesn't respond, just shifts his feet and looks at floor, Ian continues. "They're not gonna let up ya know, we're Gallagher's... stubborn as mules and stupidly protective of each other..." He smiles a weary smile, "I really thought they'd let up on you though... But every time I think we've turned a fucking corner... Bam... Something else happens and we're back to square one."

"What? So you think I'm gonna bail?" Mickey's voice is calm and controlled, if he's panicked then he isn't showing it. "Think I care what your family thinks of me Gallagher? Hate to break it to ya but my own family fucking hates me and that's a little higher on my 'could give a crap' list."

Ian feels a pang of guilt and sadness hit him at the mention of Mickey's family, of all the other boy has lost, of the part he played in that loss. But when he looks back at Mickey's face there is no hurt there, at the moment his attention isn't on his brothers or his father, he isn't thinking about his family and how they fucked him over. Mickey's eyes are fixed on his and there is a confidence in them that Ian remembers from the day they first hooked up, when Mickey looked down at him and dropped the crow bar, instinct taking over the Milkovich boy as he pulled off his top, somehow just knowing Ian would follow suit.

"You really don't give a shit that they don't cut you any slack... They judge you and don't even try to cover it up?"

"Every one judges every one Fire-crotch, get used to it," Mickey proclaimed, unconcerned and self assured. "Besides man, the little ones ain't so bad. Babies a menace, Carl's a little psycho and Deb's is too fucking cheerful for her own good but... ya know... I don't mind em... they're alright." He said with a small smile posing as nonchalant, unable to hide the growing affection in his voice.

"Aww Mick, you getting soft? Don't tell me there are actual human beings out their you don't automatically wanna kill?" Ian responded with a prideful laugh. In his mind he could already picture Mickey coming home to see Debbie crying and simply asking her who he has to kill, or him taking Carl on as a somewhat apprentice of 'how to be a successful neighbourhood terror'. He's already seen Mickey's guard drop slightly with Liam but that doesn't stop him imagining the youngest Gallagher never having to worry about bullies or South Side thugs because Mickey has his back from now on out. Ian smiles a glorious smile as he thinks how lucky his siblings would be to have the protection of one of the only people in the South Side that every one knows not to mess with, then he smiles somehow brighter when he sees the look on Mickey's face as he talks about said siblings and he realises that they already are that lucky.

As if knowing exactly what the younger boy is thinking Mickey coughs to bring him out of his thoughts. He doesn't need anyone to dwell on the idea of him going soft, he's always protected family, that's no secret, but he doesn't need to acknowledge out loud that he seems to have gained several members to his family in recent months.

"And Lip and Fiona...?" He continues, determined to wipe the shit eating grin off of the red-head boy he loves, "Well they're just looking out for you, can't really blame 'em for that... Don't have to fucking like 'em though," he adds in quickly, before Ian can accuse him of being a bitch.

Ian knows he shouldn't make a big deal out of what Mickey's just said, not if he wants the guy to keep opening up, for someone who perpetually hides and denies his feelings Ian knows not to push him when he takes baby steps, especially considering the leaps and bounds he's taken in recent months. So instead of laughing or jabbing at Mickey playfully, he just shrugs and turns to face the ex-con with his whole body. He doesn't try to hide the way he checks the older boy out, eyeing him up and down before replacing his smile with a smirk.

Mickey smirks back when he realises the look on the younger boy turned from playful to lust filled in a matter of seconds. And when Ian suggests a venture to the dugouts at the Baseball Diamond Mickey just casually shrugs his shoulders and gives the red-head his best 'eh, whatever' look before turning and leading the way, not bothering to try and hold back his grin.

* * *

Midnight had long since passed by the time Ian and Mickey strolled back into the Gallagher house with contented smiles and blissful ease. It may have been the time they shared each others company, it may have been the beer they drank or the joint they smoked, hell it may just have been that they were too tired from yet another dramatic day, but the unease didn't fade when they realised they weren't alone in being awake. Lip nudged Fiona awake when the two stopped at the door, looking down at the sofa where Ian's siblings were sat.

"Hmm?" Fiona muttered as she jostled awake, she lifted her head from its resting spot on Lip's shoulder and scanned the room. When she spotted Ian and Mickey, Fiona jolted upright and swiveled herself on the sofa. Now facing the, still smiling Ian and unfazed Milkovich, Fiona's eyes darted between the pair.

"We're having dinner tomorrow night... Kev and Vee are coming, Mandy, Jimmy's dad and Little Hank... I trust you two will be ready to eat for 6?" Without waiting for an answer Fiona rose from the sofa and climbed the stairs without a sideways glance.

"Ummm..." Lip mumbled, arching his body on the sofa to look at two boys, who were still looking at where Fiona had disappeared up the stairs. Ian and Mickey turned to face Lip, both faces etched with a 'what the fuck' expression. "She's just tired, been waiting up a while," he continued, nodding his head as he spoke, mouth closing in on itself as he perched his lips together, humming to himself when neither boys expressions lightened. "So anyway... Carl and Deb gave us shit for giving Mickey shit, the two of them have really got your back Milkovich." Ian grinned at that, briefly looking to Mickey with pride, he loved his little brother and sister. "Yeah, and... Liam seems to have latched onto you too so it seems like me and Fi might need to loosen up... Ya know, get with the program..." Lip stood and turned on the spot, ignoring Ian's wide eyes and glaring smile, the older Gallagher looked straight at Mickey. "So Fiona's cooking a meal, a kinda 'get to know each other' deal I guess? Anyway, she thought it'd be good to have Mandy their so you're not completely overwhelmed... Then Vee was there when she was making plans and decided she wanted in so invited herself and Kev, probably thinks it's gonna be a disaster and doesn't wanna miss the show."

"Yeah she's probably right." Ian says when he sees Mickey's still shocked expression out of the corner of his eye.

"Tell me about it... So then Jimmy storms in saying his dad wants to speak to him, last time that happened he told him about the divorce so when Vee let slip about the meal Jimmy said that was the perfect time to have him round, distract him from whatever news he's got with Gallagher drama... Or some shit like that... Of course, then Carl got pissy cause everyone got to invite someone but him so... enter Little Hank." Lip raised his arms and shrugged, not fazed by the stupidity of the idea, sitting Mickey Milkovich down in a confined space with all those people, all the potential staring and judging. And Ned, someone Mickey probably never wanted to see again.

Mickey scoffed and sneered at Lip, shooting the messenger seemed like a real good idea in that moment. "You so much as fucking look at my sister any way but friendly and I'll snap you like a fucking twig, got that 'genius'?" Mickey asked with both venom and concern in his voice, he hadn't forgotten the tears that Mandy had shed over the oldest Gallagher boy, the only reason nothing had been done so far was the red-head currently stood between them, but Mickey hadn't forgotten and he hadn't forgiven.

"Sir, yes sir!" He hollered, mock saluting as he walked past the young lovers and bounded up the stairs.

Mickey and Ian turned to look at each other, Ian sporting a disbelieving smile, Mickey frowning half-heartedly, the tiredness showing through. Without a word Mickey turned and the two slowly climbed the stairs to finally get some sleep, Ian making sure to turn the downstairs light off as he ascended.


	9. Chapter 9

Little Hank and Carl were waiting impatiently, sat on the couch and looking at the door every couple of minutes. Ian had told them several times that Mickey would be gone for a while but neither seemed to acknowledge the statement. Carl was anxious to show off his new "bad-ass best friend" and Hank was excited to meet the neighbourhood thug, both boys keen to learn all of the Milkovich's tricks.

Debbie was sat on the chair next to the couch, staring at Hank with an unreadable expression etched across her features. Ian couldn't decide if she was still interested in the mini delinguent or if she was questioning why she was ever interested in the first place. Fiona was running around the kitchen trying to organise a meal for 12 people and a baby, with Vee sat at the counter in the middle of the room, doing her best impression of someone helping without actually doing anything of use. The two women were talking about their day between bitching about the snooty women living a few doors down, who Fi just knows is judging her. "Screw her, have you seen the bitch? Probably hasn't gotten laid in so long she's just debating changing teams... Just craving a piece of fine Fiona Gallagher ass..." Vee laughs out while pretending to peel potatoes. Fiona just rolls her eyes and laughs along with her friend.

Lip, Kev, Jimmy and Ian are sat on the front step drinking the beer that Ian just fetched for them, smoking a joint and debating who's gonna fuck up first, Ian just rolling his eyes when the general consensus points to Mickey. All four agree that maybe the meal was not one of Fiona's better ideas for bringing about family harmony when Ned rolls up in a car that, really, he can no longer afford, what with him going broke after the divorce. Still, he likes to still play at being rich and Jimmy doesn't have the heart to tell him to stop, no one else is supposed to know and none of them really give a shit any way. After everyone says a polite hello, and a handshake with Ned that lasts a little too long for Ian's liking, and Jimmy's for that matter, the five men make their way inside. Kev and Lip kick Carl and Hank off of the sofa, filling their spaces along with Jimmy and Ned, who looks uncomfortable as he squeezes in at the end. Debbie offers Ian her seat and sits herself down on the floor in front of him as Carl and Hank, begrudgingly, find a their own spaces on the dingy carpet.

"Where's my fuckhead brother?" Mandy says as she storms into the house without bothering to knock. She picks Liam up out of his crib and sits on the arm of the chair next to Ian, the toddler crawling from her grip and landing on the red-heads lap with a thump and a smile.

"Out," Ian declares, "Business," he clarifies.

Mandy nodded her head, she looked to the crowded sofa and the two boys sat restlessly in front of it. "Gonna be a fun evening..." She said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. Ian smiled and shook his head, nodding back at the Milkovich girl when she turned to face him, her eyes dancing with the images of what could possibly go wrong.

When an awkward silence descended over the group Lip turned the television on and every one pretended to be interested in whatever they were watching. Every so often Ned would nudge his son as if to indicate that he needed to talk to him, it was in those instances that Jimmy would start up a random conversation with either Lip, Kev or Ian, starting with the words 'Oh, I forgot to tell you...', 'Did you know...', 'You'll never guess what...' or some variation of the three, pretending not to have noticed his father at all.

* * *

"What the fuck did you tell Ralph?" Mickey asked as he entered the house, apparently forgoing such pleasantries as hello or missed you, Ian smiled to himself at the thought of the ex-con ever walking into a room calmly enough to say those words.

"When?" He asked back, confusion showing on his face. He hadn't spoken to the kid in months, in fact he'd only spoken to him a few times since Mickey had caught them under the bleachers and given Ralph a proper Milkovich greeting.

"Little fucker just defended your honour." The thug replied, ignoring every one in the room as he walked straight to Ian and swiped his beer, downing the lot in one long swig before the red-head could protest. "Well tried... Kinda backed off again when I asked if he wanted a replay of the last time I saw him," he smirked as he ran a hand across his face to wipe off the excess alcohol. "You're gonna need to get fucking tougher admirers Gallagher, if that's all you got watching your back then you're really screwed, and not in the good way." He said before belching, turning on the spot, then disappearing upstairs to, no doubt, stash whatever money he had just collected.

Ian pushed himself off of the couch and handed Liam back to Mandy, he smiled at the knowing look on her face as he made his way to follow Mickey up the stairs, not missing the way that Ned's eyes followed his every move. When he got to their room Ian stopped to take in the sight of Mickey bent over the bedside table, hiding his earnings in the loose panel in the back of the bed no doubt, a hiding place he had probably had a hand in creating and one that Ian was honoured to be allowed to know about. He unashamedly eyed up the older boy for a few moments before speaking, thoroughly enjoying what he saw.

"He apologized for leaving me under the bleachers with you... Throwing me to the wolves, so to speak." Mickey didn't jump at Ian's presence, almost as if he knew the younger boy would follow. Ian leaned against the door frame as he continued, "Asked me what you did to me after he bolted." Ian smirked as Mickey rose from behind the bed and turned to face him.

"Oh yeah? You tell him what _you_ did to _me_ after he left?" Mickey replied with a smirk of his own.

Ian moved forward toward the dark haired Milkovich. "Nope," he said as he put his hands on Mickey's hips, pulling the older boy closer and leaning down to brush his lips against Mickey's, breathing against Mickey's skin as he moved to bite at his ear. "Told him you'd made me an offer I couldn't refuse..."

"Really?" Mickey asked huskily, his voice echoing through Ian like only Mickey's could, demanding a reaction from every inch of his body. Mickey's eyes closed of their own accord as Ian continued to bite his was down the older boys jaw line and onto his neck.

"Yeahh, told him you only stopped beating me when I started beating you... If ya catch my drift." Ian said provocatively he smiled into Mickey's neck before raising his head to look into the ex-cons eyes, smirking when he saw that he had the same affect on Mickey that the older boy had on him.

"Right..." Mickey laughed a throaty laugh, before raising his eyebrows and placing his hands on Ian's hips, pulling the younger boy impossibly closer still. "So who starts the beatings this time around?"

Ian hummed as Mickey raised his hand to cup the younger boys neck, and when the ex con sucked a line of marks up the sensitive flesh and bit into the skin under his ear lobe, Ian couldn't help the way his eyes rolled back into his head.

"Hmmmm," he murmured contently, before remembering just what was happening downstairs. "Mick... Mickey we cant..." He desperately tried to ply the other boy off of him whilst all he really wanted to do was maintain the contact and finish what, he guesses in fairness, he started.

Mickey huffed out an annoyed growl when the taller boy finally managed to push him back. "Gallagher, you really wanna go down their and play happy fucking families with a bunch of people who have already made their damn minds up...? OR you wanna get on me, fuck me till you don't give a shit what they think?" His husky voice went straight to Ian's groin but his words fell straight to the red-heads brain.

"I already don't give a shit what they think Mickey," he tried to sound forceful, to sound confident and bold and determined, but his voice was thick with lust and the words left him in more of a moan than a proper sentence.

"So then you won't care that they've already guessed what the fuck we're doin' up here...? So you can stop worrying and get back to it Gallagher." Mickey's voice was raspy with want and Ian wasn't strong enough to push him away again, his own want was clawing at his insides as Mickey rubbed the spot on his lower back that drove the red-head crazy, applying just the right amount of pressure as he drew circles into the skin.

Ian was brought out of his desires by a loud thud from downstairs followed by a squeal from Debbie, she screamed at Carl then audibly stomped into the kitchen. Ian frantically gasped for breath as he once again pushed at Mickey's shoulders, not shoving him away but creating a small distance between their searing bodies. "If you don't go down there soon..." He drawled out as coherently as possible whilst trying desperately to regain his composure, eyes clamped shut and forehead leaning against Mickey's, the two boys frantically breathing into each others mouths. "Carl's gonna be up here dragging you down... Him and Hank have been waiting for you all fucking day... an impatient Carl is an explosive Carl." He murmurs between moans, as Mickey refuses to let up on his fondling.

The older boy grabs the back of Ian's neck and pulls his face back toward his own, their lips are about to make contact when he growls into the younger boys mouth, letting out a disgruntled "Fine!" He palms Ian's crotch through his trousers as he dominates his mouth in a fierce kiss, "But hold that fucking thought!" He says ferociously before jolting backwards and sauntering out the room.

"Fucker!" Ian shouted after the ex con, trying to calm himself down and fighting the need for a seriously cold shower. The red-head should have been glad that Mickey had walked away because he had well and truly lost his resolve, he had been just seconds away from tearing the other boys clothes off, uncaring of the people waiting downstairs.

* * *

After taking a couple of minutes to regain his composure, Ian made his way back downstairs. The first thing he noticed when he entered the living room was that Carl and Little Hank were no longer in there, Mickey was no where to be seen and Debbie was back in the seat she'd previously given up for him. The four men remained exactly where he had left them on the sofa and he could hear Fi and Vee still muttering in the kitchen. Ian looked around for signs of the three miscreants he couldn't locate, not knowing whether or not he should be worried.

"Carl nearly set Deb's on fire, Fi told him to take a time out but as soon as Mickey came down the two little shits pounced on him... So he took 'em outside, keep 'em distracted or some shit." Mandy announced as she walked in from the kitchen and sat back on the arm of the chair that Debbie now occupied.

Ian nodded his head then pursed his lips, his eyes darted to the front door as if he would be able to see through it, as if he would be able to see exactly what his favourite ex con was teaching his delinquent little brother and friend.

"I thought it was a dumb idea too." Lip proclaimed, raising his beer in the air and lowering his head in a half assed protest.

"He's not gonna fucking kill 'em." Mandy snorted.

"I think they're more worried about Mickey teaching them how to kill others." Debs added, trying to be mock helpful, her tone full of humour.

"I'm not worried..." Ian protested, "Just intrigued."

"Yeah? Well don't go out there unless you want to face the wrath of Carl. He's already angry that you hog Mickey as it is, if you go out their when it's his turn with him... Well he might just attack you." Debbie smiled as she looked over to Ian, she obviously found the whole situation hilarious but their was an honesty in her to her eyes that screamed, 'if you don't believe me then go find out for yourself, but I promise you'll regret it'.

So instead of going outside to inspect what was happening, Ian just slunk onto the floor in front of Debbie and crossed his legs so that Liam, who bolted towards him as soon as he sat down, could sit comfortably in his lap.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, this whole fucking evening is a terrible idea." Lip said after a few minutes silence. No one responded verbally, he wasn't trying to start a conversation anyway, but every one in the room nodded in unison as six heads continued to stare blankly at the television screen.

* * *

"So, you ever kill anyone?" Carl asked with beaming eyes.

"Kid, who in their right mind would kill someone and tell everyone about it?" Mickey remarked smugly, knowing it would elicit a further response from the two boys sat in front of him on the grass. Mickey wasn't stupid, he knew how the imaginations of boys like Carl and Hank worked, if the answer wasn't a definite no then their minds would be going into overdrive filling in the blanks. He was sat on the bottom step leading up the Gallagher house, beer in one hand and cigarette in the the other, arms were resting on his knees and he let out a small laugh when he saw the boys faces light up at his words. He would never admit it but he quite likes the idea of warping the minds of the kids in front of him, figures there isn't really much damage he could do considering just how psychotic they already were.

As he looked at them laughing and prodding each other with 'I told you so' fingers to the ribs, Mickey couldn't help but smile. Their kind of psychotic wasn't the same as his, as the crazy he grew up around. Their's was an innocent kind of psychotic, no malice, just the unabated need to do something, to fidget and destroy, not out of hate but out of something much more childlike. They have so much energy they need to expel and they enjoy destruction, its as simple as that. Mickey was taught to hate and to fight people, to hurt them because he could be damn sure that people wanted to hurt him. Carl and Hank though, they destroyed things, inanimate objects, they didn't go after people, not unless they were protecting the ones they love.

It's then that Mickey makes a decision. He decides he's gonna help. He knows he's not gonna have to do much more than answer their questions honestly and let them get on with whatever they're gonna do, what they would have done without his input anyway. But he's gonna make sure they do shit right, he's gonna show them what he knows, what he taught himself. So the next time Carl decides to make himself a flame thrower with a lighter and a deodorant can, he's not gonna do the same thing Mickey did when he almost gave himself third degree burns and blew up the house. The next time they wanna act tough and steal shit, they're not gonna make stupid mistakes and get themselves caught. And the next time they do something stupid and piss off the wrong type of bully they will be able to defend themselves, or better yet they're gonna be able to say the name Mickey Milkovich and whatever prissy fuck is giving them trouble will know to scarper and leave them well alone. Mickey decides that these two young neighbourhood terrors will learn from the best so they won't have to learn from their own mistakes, mistakes that could potentially lead them down roads they never should have to travel down. And when Carl next melts one of Deb's barbies in the microwave, or sits at the kitchen table with a knife in one hand and an action figure in the other, Mickey will help him. Teach him how to burn shit effectively, how to carve shapes into wood or plastic without cutting his damn finger off. And when Fiona looks over at them and frowns that disapproving frown, judges Mickey, and maybe blames him for being a bad influence, Mickey will just smirk and carry on because he knows that Carl won't be a danger to himself or any other Gallagher for as long as he lives. He'll laugh and brush away her look of condemnation, because he knows that the shit he's doing could be much worse, he'll smile because he'll know it never will be.

* * *

When Ian walked outside he saw Mickey first and foremost. He saw the black haired boy with a cigarette in his mouth, breathing out smoke as he held the paper wrapped stick of tobacco between his perched lips. His mouth was contorted into a smug grin and his eyes were pinched together, but not completely closed. He was standing at the bottom of the steps with Carl in a head lock under his left arm, frantically laughing while pushing at the older boys hips in a futile attempt to free himself. Little Hank was stood to the right of Mickey pleading for mercy. The ex con had the young trouble makers arm wrapped around his back in an awkward position, holding him firmly when the other boy tried to wriggle free, immediately stopped when Mickey raised his arm slightly higher. From the smile on the boys faces though, Ian could tell that the Milkovich thug was not hurting either of them.

"Dinner's almost ready, Fiona wants us civilized so you gotta go wash up." Ian announced to the younger two boys in his front garden.

He smiled as Mickey released them and Carl pushed away from the older boy. His little brother looked as if he was going back in for another shot at Mickey, but swiftly changed his mind when the ex con turned and stepped toward him. Laughing, Carl and Hank pushed frantically at each other as they ran past Ian and into the house, both screaming 'this isn't over Milkovich' as they barreled in through the door. Ian looked to Mickey and raised an eyebrow, smirking smugly at the friendship blossoming between his sibling and his lover.

"What?" Mickey shouted toward him, no malice in his, now, light and easy voice.

"So you took on the terrible twosome and survived huh?" Ian responded, resting his hand on his hips and he watched Mickey stalk toward the steps.

"Please... I'm bad-ass, haven't you heard? Can take on anything and come out on top!"

Ian scoffed and laughed down at the approaching, smug looking, Milkovich. "Yeah... Don't pay much attention to Carl's hero worship, kid'll find someone new to admire next week." He said casually, smiling when he saw that Mickey was unfazed. Like Ian, Mickey probably knew that was bullshit. Carl is fiercely loyal, he loved for life, when he found someone he admired, that awe would last forever. The little shit was a lot like Mickey in that respect. In fact, he was a lot like Mickey in a lot ways and Ian could never see that as a bad thing. As far as the red head was concerned, there could never be too much Mickey, or Carl, in the world.

"That little fucker is funny." Mickey laughed as he ascended the steps to stand next to his Gallagher, passing the cigarette over when he reached the top. "His friend too."

"Yeah well they like you well enough." Ian said, with pride dwelling beneath his words. "Maybe they really are insane?" He added happily, sarcasm lacing his voice as he leaned forward patronizingly, teasingly.

"Ha, fuck you." Mickey retorted, rolling his eyes and pushing the red-head away half heartedly. He sat down on the top step, obviously thinking about something.

Ian dropped his smile as he sat next to Mickey and watched the older boy for signs of whatever he was contemplating, searching for the appearance of a resolve on his face. He didn't say anything as the older boy just stared at the steps below him, biting his lip into his mouth as his blue eyes fixed on nothing in particular. Ian didn't know if he should be worried or not, but honestly, he wasn't.

They sat there for a few minutes, Mickey not looking up as they passed the remainder of the cigarette back and forth between them. Ian had finally pried his eyes away from the concentrating boy beside him and was in the middle of staring at the rusty hinges of their front gate when Mickey's head shot up from his lap. "Fucking Toy Story!" He shouted for no ones benefit but his own.

Ian let out a shocked laugh, he turned to his lover and raised his eyebrows, willing the ex con to continue, to expand.

"That's who the little fucker reminds me of!" He said, looking into Ian's eyes with a contented and accomplished grin.

"Who?" Ian asked with another laugh, still waiting for a proper explanation.

"You're kid brother, reminds me of the fucker in Toy Story, the damn neighbour kid... Ya know... The asshole... Tried to blow the space man up with a rocket and barbecue the cowboy." He clicked his fingers, willing Ian to remember their names for him.

Another bout of laughter released itself from Ian's chest. His smile was blinding as he looked to Mickey in awe of his goofy expression. An innocence there he's never seen before, probably never will again. Everyone had childish moments, little slips of time where they revert to being a kid again, just for a second. Ian had seen them on every one he's ever met, he has them himself all the time, whenever he is near a swimming pool, especially one with a diving board, he forgets about every thing else and instantly becomes a 4 year old desperate to dive bomb into the water. Lip has them when he sees some newfangled piece of technology, he becomes like a kid in a candy store who just plain wants it, and sulks when he's reminded its not his to play with. Fiona's inner child is triggered by family mostly, when her siblings are carefree and she remembers shes allowed a moment of madness too, she loses all the weight on her shoulders then, throws her arms in the air and lets her hair down. Mandy's trigger could be seen as drugs, nothing gets her more goofy than drugs, but that doesn't count, drugs has that reaction on everyone in the South Side who just crave an escape every once in a while. No, Mandy's really trigger is a little more deeply hidden than that. She only really lets go, becomes a kids again, when she feels protected enough to be able to forget. When she has no fear then she is the biggest kid of them all. It doesn't happen often as fear and anger is in built in this neighbourhood. But when Mandy feels safe, when she's around Ian or Mickey, then you see the real girl shine through.

But Mickey doesn't really have a trigger, it's been knocked out of him. Ian guessed he knocked it out of himself when he realised that his dad would do it sooner or later and he wasn't willing to let his dad take yet another part of him away, so he stopped associating anything with being a kid again, because he wasn't allowed to be a kid, he had to be a fucking South Side warrior. So looking into Mickey's wide eyes, in his one moment of absolute glee, Ian's heart swells. He can't contain his own happiness so laughs again to disguise it, knowing the older boy would, albeit sarcastically, berate him for being soppy if he let slip just what emotions were pulsing through him right now.

He look down to the step below him as his chuckles wore off, then turned to look at Mickey, neck still arched downward. "Awww, you like Toy Story, Mick?" He said teasingly.

"Fuck you, everyone's seen that fucking film," he said defensively, but the smile he wore told Ian that he wasn't really annoyed.

Ian hummed his agreement as Mickey took the last drag off the cigarette, stubbing it out on the step beside him, he tossed it over the fench and both boys stood up. The turned to go back into the house when Ian grabbed Mickey's elbow and turned to older boy to face him.

"Just so you know," he said, moving forward to talk quietly into Mickey's ear, knowing the contact would get him a reaction. Ian was still slightly bitter from being left in his room with a slight problem he couldn't take care of and no time for a cold shower. "The space 'marine'..." he accentuated the word with air quotes, "Is called Buzz and the cowboy is called Woody." He bit Mickey's ear lobe as he said the last word, brushing his hips a little closer to Mickey's.

Ian retreated his head and both boys dropped their smiles as they stared into each others eyes. Mickey ran his thumb across his bottom lip as Ian's green orbs bore into his bright blue ones. The ex con nodded slight before taking a small, quick, step forward.

"Woody!" Mickey yelled, at the exact same time as Ian shouted "Buzz." Their raised voices combining the two separate words into one loud and messy declaration.

"Are you kidding me Mick?" Ian squirmed. "Buzz is a fucking space marine... What is cooler than that? A cowboy doll? Really?"

"Buzz is a fucking ponce." Mickey shrugs back, smiling as he pulls away from Ian to once again make for the Gallagher front door. "He thinks he's fucking better than everyone else... Hell he thinks he's better than he really is... He's just a fucking little toy with a big ego! Now Woody... he's knows his shit, knows how things work... he's god damn more loyal than the others AND he's funny as fuck."

Ian shakes his head as Mickey turns the door handle and steps inside, stopping again only to say a quick "Man, fuck Buzz," before sauntering into the house.


	10. Chapter 10

When they got back inside everyone was already gathered in the kitchen, being allocated seats by Debbie as Fiona dished out food.

"Ian, you're there next to Mandy..." The red-headed girl called, waving them into the kitchen. "Mickey, you're between me and Ian." She said, pointing to their seats at the other side of the table, nearest to the door, nearest to the escape should shit hit the fan.

"Carl, you ok with that buddy?" Ian asked, noticing his brother and Hank slouching disgruntled in their chairs on the other side of Debbie's.

"They were fighting over who got to sit next to him," Debbie explained before either boy could answer. "So I made an executive decision." She proclaimed happily.

"He's my friend!" Carl protested, side eyeing Little Hank.

Huffing his shoulders and crossing his arms, Little Hank returned the glare. "You see him all the fucking time!"

Mickey smirked as he shook his head, taking his seat with a muffled laugh. Ian sat down next to his lover and scanned the faces of the room, Fiona, too distracted to care about Hanks swearing, was stood at the kitchen counter trying to evenly distribute the mash potato between the plates - having opted against putting a big bowl in the middle of the table and letting everyone help themselves because that would quickly descend to anarchy. Jimmy was sat next to, what Ian assumed was, Fiona's empty chair, Lloyd was next to him, looking extremely uncomfortable and very out of place. Vee was next, sat staring wide eyed at her husband, the two having some silent conversation between their eyes and their smiles. Kev and Lip were sat on stools in front of the counter dividing the kitchen, where Ian assumed they would be staying for the duration of the meal. Mandy was next to Vee, which Ian thought was a bit of a risky idea what with the occasionally frosty relationship between the two, but oh well, anything to add to the drama.

"He's fucking my brother!" Carl shouted fiercely. Ian was instantly snapped from his thoughts, he shot a glare at his little brother as Mickey's eyes grew wide, he'd just released his beer over himself with a cough, luckily having not taken a very large sip. The two were not the only ones now staring at Carl, everyone in the room was now transfixed on the conversation between the two young hooligans, who both seemed undeterred by their new audience.

"So?" Hank shot back.

"So..." Carl drew out the word for effect, "If my brothers letting Mickey stick shit up his butt for fun... Then he's my fucking friend not yours!"

"CARL!" Fiona screamed, suddenly uncaring about her mash portions. This time it wasn't Mickey, but several other people choking, either on their drink or just out of shock. Mandy, Lip, Jimmy, Kev and Lloyd were all spluttering for breath as Vee just tilted her head, looking between Ian and Mickey as if for the first time understanding what they do behind closed doors. Ian looked to his brother with his mouth slightly agape and his eyebrows high on his forehead, beside him Mickey just shook his head and ran his hands down his face, snickered out a disbelieving laugh before he turned to his little protégée. "Nice fucking logic there man."

"What?" Carl asked defensively when he noticed, as if for the first time, all the faces that were now focused on him.

"That doesn't even make sense." Hank said sullenly, still oblivious to everyone else's shell shocked attention.

"Say another word and I'll see to it you never go near Mickey again!" Fiona all but yelled before Carl could retort and continue his argument with Little Hank.

Ian didn't quite know what to do, or say, or even think. He just looked to Mickey, who slowly turned his head to return the gaze. Ian tried to convey his thoughts through his eyes, he shrugged and smiled coyly, apologising silently. Mickey just shook his head and waved his hand, brushing off the sorry and returning to look at the table. Relief washed over Ian when he realised the older boy wasn't about to bolt or throw a fit, the red-head was confused why Mickey wasn't reacting to the blatant discussion of his sex life, but he wasn't going to question it. Then, Ian noticed a change in Mickey, the older boys lips twitched at the corners and before long he was full on smirking, he turned his head to look back into Ian's eyes. At first the red-head was confused, before he finally processed what had just happened and understood exactly what Mickey was thinking. Ian scowled and thumped his Milkovich hard on the arm and glared harder still when Mickey just laughed and didn't even bother to feign pain.

Mandy cottoned on to what was going on between her brother and best friend, she smiled and poked Ian on the shoulder. "Can't say I'm surprised," she deadpanned when Ian turned to look at her, "Out of the two of you I always pegged you for the bottom." She teased.

"Fuck you." He sneered back playfully, until of course he saw Vee from the corner of his eye nodding in agreement. "Fuck you!" He shouted to the room when no one contradicted the Milkovich girl. He looked around for anyone to back him up, but no one seemed to disagree with the statement, hell even Lloyd, who knew what Ian's preference was, seemed convinced by the idea that Mickey was the top. Carl and Little Hank looked confused but Debbie understood, she laughed along with the rest as Ian raised his arms in protest, when the red-head turned to Mickey the older boy just raised a single eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders lightly, a smile still tugging at his stupidly gorgeous lips. Ian really didn't want to be attracted to the thug right now. Admitting defeat, and unwilling to push Mickey too far by blurting out the truth of the situation, Ian eventually just sagged back into his chair. "Whatever," he blurted out, a smirk of his own forming, "Liking what I like don't make me a bitch!"

Mickey laughed out loud at that, he turned to his lover and raised both eyebrows, smiling when he saw Ian's shit eating grin, which only grew wider when he realised he could get away with that kind of teasing now. Mickey's face screamed 'Oh yeah?' but the dark haired boy stayed silent, no one else in the room understood the teasing exchange between the two boys. They didn't know their in jokes or their history. Soon enough the other people in the room gave up on trying to understand and the kitchen fell into a warm silence, a tranquility that was unusual for the Gallagher house. Lloyd still looked tense, his gaze flicking between Ian and Mickey, seemingly having given up on the idea of talking to his son. Carl had forgotten he was sulking now, he was currently ripping up bits off paper, scrunching them up and then launching them at a giggling Liam or an annoyed Debbie. Hank though, he still looked deep in thought.

"So some guys, like, stick things up their butts... for fun?" Hank asked no one in particular, with a shocking amount of sweetness and innocence to the question considering the meaning of it. His face was screwed up in confusion and he looked around with pleading eyes.

"Oh we are NOT having that conversation!" Fiona ordered with a smirk, forbidding anyone at the table to answer.

Mickey just snorted and went back to doodling on the table cloth with the permanent marker he stole off of Carl to stop him doing the exact same thing. Ian muttered a quiet 'Jesus Christ' with a smile on his face and went back to trying to work out exactly what Mickey was drawing, regretting it the instant he noticed what looked suspiciously like a stick figure giving another stick figure an uncomfortable looking blow job. He scrunched up his nose in mock disgust as mickey drew an arrow from that particular drawing to Ian with the word 'Bitch' scribbled under it. Ian grabbed the pen and scribbled out the drawing, quickly giving it back when Mickey raised his fist to punch the red-heads arm. Raising his own hands in surrender, Ian laughed, turned and talked to a bored, and somewhat disappointed looking, Mandy.

Everyone else was lost in conversation, or in thought, when Debbie and Fiona handed out the plates of food before finally taking their seats. As predicted, there was anarchy at the table, people were grabbing for the sauces and the salt and pepper before tossing them to the person who yelled the loudest when they were done. It wasn't just condiments flying around the table, much to Fiona's chagrin, food was also being passed between the hungry horde. Carl had too much mash, Lip didn't have enough chicken, Mandy didn't want her vegetables and Debbie was less than impressed with her portion of stuffing. An intricate barter and swap system over took the table, with everyone going out of their way to secure the rights to Mickey's boiled corn on the cob when the neighbourhood thug announced that he didn't like it. Despite Carl offering all of his mash and his stuffing, with an added promise of half of whatever pudding was to follow, the corn eventually went to Ian when the red-head played dirty. The selling price of the corn – 1x stuffing ball, 2x chicken pieces (Ian's choice of pieces) and all the mash that Mickey could fit on his fork in one scoop, as well as 3 moderate spoonful's of the nights pudding and (this being the clincher) Jell-O on demand for the next week (Mickey's choice of flavours). Hank huffed out his disappointment as Ian collected his winnings and Mickey retrieved his fee, the young hoodlum had offered to introduce the Milkovich to his older brother should he tire of Ian or the rest of the Gallagher's.

During the food exchange, under which Kev had agreed to a swap of his chicken with Lip instead of Vee – which earned the barmen a sex ban of up to a week, with a 3 day minimum, Fi had eventually relented and joined in, relinquishing some of her stuffing to a disgruntled Debbie in exchange for some more mash that she didn't really want. To Lloyd's surprise, Jimmy was just as comfortable now to join in, swapping his excess of potato for Mandy's unwanted vegetables. Naturally, Lloyd stayed out of the whole ordeal, sitting silently next to his son and eating his food with manners that he no doubt felt were lacking in his dinner companions. Ian has seen different sides to the older man, he's seen the playful, flirty – what Lip would call perverted and Mickey would call something else entirely – side to him, he's seen him make a fool out of himself when drunk and trying to get on Ian in front of a crowded bar. He's heard the cheesy, useless pick-up lines and he's watched him taunt a bullet ridden Mickey, just because he knew at the time that the Milkovich couldn't do anything to shut him up. What Ian's never seen is the quiet Lloyd, the awkward man that now sat at the table, because he usually always had something to say and he was never embarrassed or shy. When the Gallagher boy looked to his side and saw a scoffing Mickey caught up in a food race with Carl, Debbie and Little Hank, he smiled and shook his head, because honestly, he couldn't give a shit about Lloyd and his little mysteries because he had the biggest mystery of them all and Ian loved the way the older boy made him feel like he was the only one who could possibly solve the enigma that was Mickey Milkovich. Mickey won the food race, with Carl in second, Debbie third and Hank still not quite finished, Mandy acted as her brothers personal cheerleader, shouting out a proud "You don't mess with a Milkovich and their food!"

The three youngsters laughed, Hank still with food in his mouth, and the adults in the room seemed unsure whether to be disgusted by the show, surprised that Mickey was making an effort with the kids, or grateful that he was distracting them from demanding the attention of everyone at the table. Ian didn't care what decision they made, he was proud of the effort Mickey was making and he was having fun watching him interact with his siblings. He was just surprised at how natural it all seemed.

"Thanks." He muttered into Mickey's ear after the Milkovich boy had finished washing down his latest food intake.

"For what?" Mickey responded, brows furrowed, honestly not knowing what he had done.

"For that," he returned, waving his hand between Mickey and his siblings, "For them," he said with a smile.

"Whatever man," Mickey said back, shrugging and running his thumb across his lip, "I'm not doing anything." He looked sideways at Ian and didn't bother to hide his own smile when he saw that famous shit eating grin, the one that was just for Mickey, the one that only got bigger, happier, even more genuine, when the younger boy understood what Mickey was saying. He really wasn't doing anything, he wasn't trying to impress anyone, he wasn't trying to make friends, this really was happening naturally.

Ian's blatant disinterest in Lloyd, though, didn't stop the old man from occasionally glancing at the red-head, it didn't stop the glances sometimes lingering long enough to become stares, and it certainly didn't stop the looks of disgust he failed to hide every time Ian interacted with Mickey. The looks weren't missed by Ian, they weren't missed by an annoyed looking Jimmy and they certainly weren't missed by the ex-con himself. As if sensing the rising tension Fiona tried to steer the groups separate conversations into one big group discussion.

"So Dr Lishman," She said joyfully, and loud enough to get everyone's attention, "Deb's and Carl were really interested when Jimmy was thinking of going back to medical school, they had a bunch of questions for him every time he came home, isn't that right Jimmy… Carl… Debs?" She raised her eyebrows at the confused looks all three were giving her, after rolling her eyes and sighing she thrashed her head towards Lloyd and gestured for someone to say something.

"Yeah," Debbie followed reluctantly, "Yeah we were just wandering what it was like to be a doctor?" She asked politely, trying her best to sound genuinely interested.

"It, umm, pays the bills," he offered with a distracted smile, continuing only when Jimmy nudged him with his elbow. "It's good, really, I get to cut people up." He said, looking at Carl as if hoping to impress the youngster, an enthusiastic smile now etched onto his face as he turned to glance at Ian, as if impressing the young Gallagher boy with tales of blood and gore will grant him favour with his favourite red-head and one up Mickey. Ian barely held in his laugh when Carl's instant reaction was to turn to Mickey and ask, "Have you ever cut anything open?"

Debbie rolled her eyes, obviously aware of what Fiona was trying to do, nevertheless she turned her eyes to Mickey and eagerly awaited his answer, her expectant glare mirrored by both Carl and Little Hank. Ian would be lying if he said that he wasn't intrigued to hear the ex-cons answer too, as, it seemed, was almost everyone else around the table, with the exception of Lloyd and Mandy, the latter probably already knew the answer.

"'Course, man. Who the hell hasn't?" He challenged.

"Don't think he was talking 'bout dissecting frogs in Biology class Mick." Ian said with a smile.

"Neither was I." Mickey defended, looking to both Ian and Lip with disbelief, "You two genius' have never done a bit of out of school experimenting?" He said with a sneer, his voice feigning innocence. Ian just shook his head slightly and drew his hands up in the air, silently claiming naivety to all things deemed morally questionable. Lip, for his part, just stared at Mickey like he was trying to work out every detail of the other boy, without having to actually learn anything more about him than what he already knew. "Well you're fucking missing out." Mickey added, shoving Ian's shoulder when the red-head just snorted and said "Whatever," with a sarcastic smile.

"I guess the difference is, when I do it, it's to save lives…" Lloyd stated smugly, patronisingly, Mickey didn't react but everyone's eyes shot to the Milkovich boy with a renowned temper. "That and I get paid a shed load of money for it." He pushed further, digging for a reaction.

Before Mickey, or Ian for that matter, could react to bring the good doctor down a peg or two, the anger bubbling away at both of the boys now, Debbie spoke up.

"Can't really use both those arguments in the same sentence." She stated matter-of-factly, eyes boring into Lloyds. "I mean, you're either a doctor so you can save people, or you're a doctor for the 'shed load of money'," she argued, holding up air quotes as she mimicked Lloyd's words.

Lloyd hitched a breath as he searched for a response, he looked to Jimmy and then Fiona, who looked apologetic but didn't have any help to offer.

"Think it's a bit more complicated than that Debs." Lip interjected, trying for appearances sake to help Lloyd out, more for Fiona's benefit than his own, his words sounded empty, with no weight behind them, more rehearsed than honest.

Debbie just shrugged and muttered out an undeterred "Whatever."

"Oh it's not so complicated," Lloyd said, trying to regain some favour points with Debbie, the old man faltered a little when the young Gallagher girl didn't bother looking up. "I do a worthwhile job, and so I get a complementary salary."

Debbie still didn't flinch.

"What sort of things do you cut up?" Carl asked after a moment's awkward silence, filled with false smiles and mock concern.

"Well…" Lloyd started, hopefully.

"You're a doctor, we know what you cut up," Debbie interrupted, "He was talking to Mickey."

"Deb's?" Fiona called out, her tone somehow dangerous without being threatening in any way.

"What?" The youngest Gallagher girl said back, defensive and unapologetic.

"It's OK…" Lloyd said calmly, raising his hands appeasingly.

"Just don't be rude, OK?" Fiona said softly, smiling as she looked into Debbie's eyes, silently reminding her that she really wanted Jimmy's father to like them, to accept them, to approve.

"Well she was right." Carl announced, "I did mean Mickey, I was even looking right at him when I said it…" His tone was defensive, irritated, like he was annoyed that Debbie was getting into trouble for telling the truth.

Mickey opened his mouth to say something but Fiona immediately cut him off. "We are not having that conversation at the dinner table." Her voice carried the same warning it had earlier, the softness was gone and was replaced by an iron resolve, her eyes focused on Mickey.

"He started it!" Carl hit back, pointing straight at Lloyd with a fierce determination, now angry that both Debbie and Mickey were getting scorned because of the old man.

"Well I'm ending it." Fiona almost growled, she exhaled a calming breath then looked to her young brother and smiled, a genuine smile despite her obvious stress, "OK?" She asked softly.

Carl, just nodded then looked around at the faces encircling the table, Lloyd looked down at his food, mashing it around his plate with his fork. Kev and Vee were smiling at each other, eyebrows raised and clearly enjoying the entertainment. Lip was smirking to himself as he picked half-heartedly at his food. Mandy was full on grinning, eating like nothing had happened, Fiona and Jimmy were looking at each other with contradicting looks of humour and anxiety etched across both of their faces. Ian was looking at his plate, one hand in his lap and the other reaching for Mickey's thigh, when he made contact the older boy turned to face him. Ian squeezed his lover's leg and smirked, unable to hide his delight at Deb and Carl's automatic reaction to stick up for Mickey. Mickey tilted his head and looked back at Ian, face neutral as he examined the red-heads features. He bit the inside of his cheek as he let his lips contort into a quick, small, smile. Something was eating at Mickey and Ian knew it but he wasn't going to force the issue now, Mickey would talk to him about it, of this he was sure, but it could wait until after dinner.

* * *

The rest of the meal was surprisingly tame, tame for the Gallagher household anyway, and one nosebleed was certainly more subdued than a Milkovich family dinner. Mandy had just told everyone the story of Mickey and Iggy trying to find out who was the toughest by seeing who could stuff the most marshmallows up their nose, when you're 5 and 4 respectively then what better measure is there for strength and determination. When Debbie asked who won, Carl just scoffed and said "Who do you think?" Before turning to Mickey for confirmation, to which the ex-con just smirked slightly and nodded. Not to be outdone Lip started a story of his own, reminding the family of the time that he and Ian tried to catch Frank in the act with a married woman so they could blackmail him for some Hershey bars, they were 6 and 5 at the time.

The battle of the 'Families Weird' lasted for several more rounds, culminating in the story of Mickey, Iggy and Joey trying to capture a dwarf and take him into school for Iggy's show and tell when the oldest of the three was 8. They couldn't believe their luck when they spotted an unsuspecting target at the local pool and staked him out until the man fell asleep. They got as far as pressing a cloth to the man's mouth, a cloth soaked in what they assumed was Chloroform, a substance Joey assured them would put the man to sleep for hours because he had 'seen it on this television program and it, like, never failed'. Unfortunately, the boys hadn't distinguished between Chloroform and Chlorine, so were startled when all pushing a rag soaked in the swimming pool did to the man was wake him up angry. They were also too proud of their idea not to share it with the pool security officer and even offer him in on the deal if he looked the other way, like they had seen their dad do so many times to cops, as well as rival neighbourhood dealers. Exasperated, and disgusted with the local youths, the officer rang up their father and banned the three from the pool, a ban that has yet to be lifted. Terry just laughed and called them idiots, muttered a sarcastic "Better luck next time." And returned to the couch with a beer and a joint.

Too distracted were the adults of the room to notice that Carl and Little Hank had decided to test their own strength, re-enacting Mickey and Iggy's marshmallow contest, unfortunately as they had no means of acquiring marshmallows, the young rebels in the making settled for using bits of plastic they had earlier carved off of one of Debbie's old Barbie dolls.

"Take that shit out of your nose, 'less you wanna be drinking your own blood for the next few hours." Mickey proclaimed to a stunned kitchen, no one but the two boys having any idea what he was talking about.

Carl and Hank looked at each other guiltily, then down at the pieces of Barbie still piled on the table, checking to see whose pile was higher. Satisfied that his pile was smaller, Little Hank proceeded to remove each piece of burnt or carved up plastic from his nostrils, declaring himself the victor with the smile that beamed from his eyes. Carl huffed out an annoyed grunt, side eyeing his own pile again before Mickey coughed to get his attention then glared and raised his eyebrows in challenge. Carl looked to his mentor and instantly relented, deflating slightly as he followed Hank in unclogging his nose. The rest of the diners just stared at the Milkovich as he turned away from Carl and carried on doodling, not looking up at his audience once, even when he huffed out an annoyed "What?" when they continued to stare.

This snapped the onlookers out of their trance as Fiona moved from her spot to help Carl remove the last of the pieces, as she brushed past Hank, whom she assumed had already finished considering the way his hands were now rested on the table, the young blonde boy screeched out a pained "Ouch."

"You got a bit fucking stuck up there haven't you?" Mickey finally raised his head to look at the agitated boy.

Hank just nodded his head. "Were you gonna say anything or just sit there all night and hope it'd go away?" Mickey scoffed, standing as he spoke. He moved passed a surprised Fiona and, a suddenly uplifted, Carl and stopped at Little Hank's side. "Got any tweezers?" He asked no one in particular. Ian got up and ran to the living room before sprinting back with his Swiss army knife.

"You should let Vee do that." Fiona said sternly as Mickey took the tweezers from the side of the multi-functioning tool.

"It's not fucking rocket science." Mickey retorted, did they really think he was gonna damage the kid?

"Still..." Fiona replied condescendingly, stretching out her arm and gesturing toward Vee.

Mickey stopped what he was doing and looked straight to Ian, as if asking his permission to disregard his big sister. Ian smiled at the gesture and nodded his head, but just as Mickey was telling Hank to tilt his head back, Lloyd added in his two cents. "Last time I checked you weren't a doctor son, maybe you should let someone who knows what they're doing do that." With his words both Vee and Lloyd stood and reached for the tweezers, both taking steps towards Hank. Ian noticed the way the youngster flinched at the approaching figures, leaning back in his chair slightly, as if trying to flee from a touch that hadn't even come yet, Mickey noticed too.

"Yeah? Well last time I checked I wasn't your fucking son and this kid ain't got any money to pay so you and your oversized ego might wanna take a step back." Mickey shot back, he put his hand on Little Hank's shoulder and once again asked if was ready.

"Mickey, don't be a dick. This isn't a damn pissing contest between you and the good doctor, just let Vee do what she does best and everyone can go back to ignoring each other in blissful silence." Lip muttered when he saw Fiona scowl and Vee making no move to sit back down.

"Ummm, second best." Kev chimed in with a wink to his smiling wife, finger raised in the air as if asking for everyone's attention.

Ian shot a look of anger at his brother, then turned to face Mickey, giving the older boy a placating smile and shrugging his shoulders.

"Fine, all yours!" The ex-con huffed out, standing back and letting Veronica walk passed him.

She replaced his hand on Hank's shoulder with her own and took the tweezers from Mickey's out stretched hand, all the while Hank just looked up at her with wide eyes searching frantically for some form of familiarity.

"He doesn't like needles." Carl interjected, when Vee looked to Fiona for answers as to why the boy was so frightened to be touched.

"These are tweezers sweetie, no needles here." She said gently, tilting the young boys head back up to face her, a soft smile gracing her lips.

Then, out of nowhere, Hank screamed, he thrashed his arms and legs and almost propelled himself backwards off of the chair. "Jesus fucking Christ," Mickey muttered before pushing Vee out of the way and reclaiming the tweezers out of her shocked frozen hands. He grabbed the back of Hank's neck and steadied the chair with his foot, pushing back slightly so he could stand directly in front of the anxious little boy. "Head back!" Mickey demanded and when Hank instantly obeyed Mickey moved with a determined precision. He raised the tool in his hand as he looked down Hanks nostrils to locate the offending plastic and in one swift movement pulled the shard straight out of the boy's nose and dropped it into his waiting hands. "Look at that… The boy's still fucking alive!" He all but yelled at the bemused faces surrounding him, he shoved the tweezers back into the Swiss army knife and tossed it to Ian, before slinking back to his seat and sitting down with a graceless thump.

Ian let a smug smile engulf his face as his eyes scanned the room. Mandy, too, was glowing as she smirked into her drink. Debbie looked awe struck as she turned to Mickey and opened her mouth to speak.

"You met my fucking sister?" He asked before Debbie could get out the question that was on everyone's lips. "Bitch was a nightmare when she was younger, always sticking shit up her nose, through her ears, in her mouth," his voice returned to normal as his mouth scrunched up into a cheeky and teasing grin, "Not much has changed."

"Fuck you ass hole!" Mandy shot back with a smile.

Hank stared at the shard of plastic in his hand for a few seconds, then looked to Mickey with appreciative eyes. The Milkovich boy nodded slightly before returning his head to focus on the, now covered in ink, tablecloth in front of him. Realising Carl's obvious jealousy of the undivided attention he had had from Mickey, Hank turned to smirk at his best friend and mouth a very unsubtle, 'I win!' nodding his head as if to rub salt in the wound of Carl's dented pride. Hell have no fury like young miscreant scorned…

"Hank had a dream about Vee and Fiona making out!" Carl shouted, as Fi sat back down. "He's also scared of moths and really likes some of Debbie's crappy chick movies!" He continued with a devilish smile.

Hank went bright crimson as his mouth fell open. He gawped at Carl before dropping his shoulders and raising his hands. His face dropped all expression for a moment, before scrunching up in anger at his best friend, who had just relayed some of his deepest darkest secrets. Eyes narrowed dangerously and lips pursed together tightly, Hank pulled one arm back and swung, punching Carl straight in the nose with all of his might.

Everyone shot up as Carl steadied himself on his chair, everyone except Mickey and Mandy who were used to acts of violence around the dinner table.

"Jesus Carl… Hank… What the hell?" Fiona called as she sprinted to the sink and threw Vee a wet cloth, her best friend then ran to Carl and started clearing away the blood. Carl tried to brush away all of the concern but Lip was by his side an instant later with his hand planted reassuringly on his back. Lloyd had sat back down and was, once again looking at Ian, the red-head still stood but not moving to further crowd his brother.

"Do I have to leave?" Hank asked innocently, as Fiona rounded the middle counter and walked toward her injured sibling.

Fiona let out an exasperated sigh and ran her hands down her face, before shaking her head and looking at the young blonde boy who had just assaulted Carl. "What? No… Just… Swap places with Mandy." She said, voice gentle and filled with its usual concern.

As an awkward Hank lowered himself into his new seat next to Ian, the red-head smiled at him and tapped him on the shoulder to make sure he was ok, before turning back to Carl as the youngster had finally gotten his concerned family to back off.

"You sure you're alright there Kiddo?" She said warmly as she returned to her seat.

"Yes." He protested, "God, it's like I've never been injured before!"

Lip and Ian laughed, Fiona let out an extended breath, Vee kissed Kev on her way back to her chair and he returned the gesture of love by smacking her ass as she walked passed. Debbie muttered "Get a room," as she stood to begin collecting plates. Jimmy rose to help clear the table, obviously fearing the new calm would prompt his father to try and talk to him again, and soon silence returned to the household. Muttered conversations took place as the table was cleared and desert was dished out, Mickey immediately claiming his three spoonful's from Ian's plate. Ian shoved the older boy when his last spoonful was quite a bit more than just moderate, however, when the cocky Milkovich blew him an air kiss the taken aback red-head made no move to reclaim any of it.

* * *

Everyone at the table looked relieved as the group were finishing up with pudding, none more so than Ian and Mickey, glad to finally be nearing the end of the damn meal, almost able to leave. The last of the plates had just been collected by Lip and Kev, when Lloyd once again tried to get his sons attention.

"So Mickey…" Jimmy said, ignoring his father again, "You and Ian, huh? How did that come about?"

Mickey just grimaced and looked to Ian, the red-head shrugged and looked back to Jimmy, obviously confused as to why he was even talking to Mickey yet alone asking that.

"He threatened me with a crowbar." Mickey replied matter-of-factly, uncaring at how ridiculous it sounded for such violence to be the bases of any kind of relationship.

"Fair enough…" The part time wannabe doctor, part time car thief replied. "So… Tell us about yourself." He continued, obviously scrambling for anything to say.

"Are you serious?" Mickey asked, generally bemused why he even pretended to give a damn.

"Yeah, just… Ya know… Trying to get to know the guy that stole Ian's heart." He said back, with a patronising smile.

Then Mickey got it, he understood. He smirked as he looked to his red-head, who by the looks of things had also just worked it out. Ian shrugged at him and smiled so Mickey let rip. "OK," he started, turning to look Jimmy dead in the eye. "I have it on good authority that I'm an asshole, seriously, ask anyone who's met me. I prefer fighting to talking, love the feel of broken bones under my fists, head-butts are the way to go for instant satisfaction though…" He continued with a dangerous snarling smile. "I've spent more time in juvie than in school… I mean, play to your strengths right… I didn't treat Gallagher here very well for the first… what… 3 years of whatever the fuck kinda relationship this was at the time?" He said, looking to Ian for an answer to a rhetorical question. "I beat up your dear old dad there the first day I met him because I was a jealous son of a bitch and he was trying to get what was mine…" Mickey smirked at Ian when the younger boy smiled and grabbed hold of his thigh again, squeezing as he said the word 'mine'. "Even my family hate me right now, either because I'm queer or because of the asshole thing… but then again… my whole family are assholes so I'm guessing it's the faggot thing… I may be the fucking epitome of South Side scum, but I'm not an idiot, so next time you wanna use me to piss off you're prick of a father, who obviously still has a bit of a hard on for… What was it he calls you? Ginger snap?" Another rhetorical question that Ian just rolled his eyes at. "Ginger snap over here… which you seem more than a little bit pissed off about, I suggest you get back at him some other way… 'Cause really, talking to me is not gonna help… I mean, take this little exchange, I think bringing me into it has just put us both firmly on your ladies shit list."

Everyone was now gawping at Mickey, most with a kind of disgust in their eyes, Ian with acceptance, love even and an ounce of humour. He knew Mickey was finally letting rip, pissed off at the constant judgments Mickey finally didn't care anymore and let it out. Ian was proud that the older boy kept it so damn tame, in all honesty. Words were obviously hanging on everyone's lips, but it was only Mandy who voiced her thoughts.

"Fuck you!" She all but screamed. "Not all Milkovich's are assholes!"

"No sorry, you're right, some are skanks." He offered, laughing when Mandy reached over to punch him, missing her intended target and catching her elbow on the table. Mandy smiled as she sat back down and shook her head in mock disgust.

"Is that why you won't talk to me? Because you think I'm still interested in Ian?" Lloyd asked before Fiona could shout at Mickey for his outburst in front of her kids, because they were her kids and they didn't need to hear all of that.

"Think? It's pretty obvious dad, you've been ogling him all night. That the only reason you came here, pretend you wanted to talk to me but actually you just wanted to see your god damn 'Ginger Snap'? I mean Jesus dad!" Jimmy shouted back.

Fiona tried to shoo the kids into the living room but no one budged, all eyes now focused on Jimmy and Lloyd.

"You were the one that said to come here, I was just going to meet you at a bar or a restaurant or something… You asked me to come to this damn dinner party!" Lloyd protested, shouting just as loud as his son.

"Some bar dad? So you could get drunk again, ask to crash here and then sneak into bed with the wrong god damn boy… again… And who was gonna pay for those drinks huh?" Jimmy continued before his dad could defend himself against the first comment. "You're broke dad, you can't afford a god damn bar or a restaurant… you can't afford that stupid car outside that you refuse to give up… You can't afford the lavish hotel room you've been god damn living in and you definitely can't afford those fancy fucking suits you keep bloody buying!" Jimmy's face was red with anger, veins threatening to explode from his forehead.

"If I'm such a disgrace, such a god damn let down for you son, you won't care that I'm leaving… Getting the hell away from this shit hole and moving to New York, better position at the hospital… more pay, less hours and no more god damn judgements." Lloyd stood up defensively.

Vee looked away almost instantly, trying to hide her 'uh oh' expression. Kev and Lip snickered to themselves and pretended to be in a separate conversation of their own. Jimmy and Fiona just looked shocked, the prior instantly calmed from his previously angry state.

"Are you serious?" He muttered, standing up next to his father.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He said, voice now void of any anger.

Mickey and Ian both tried to hide their 'no shit' expressions as they looked into each other's eyes. For their part, all of the kids stayed silent. Hank was obviously awkward though, with his proximity to the two men who were moments ago both yelling at the top of their lungs. The young boy leaned back, pushing his seat slightly closer to Ian's.

"Does mum know?" Jimmy asked, innocently. Fiona placed her hand on his back, trying to offer reassurance that the man didn't seem to quite get.

"No, and she wouldn't care if she did. You can tell her if you want." He added as an almost after thought.

There was a silence then, broken minutes later when Lloyd, who had not looked at anyone since his rage filled declaration, looked to Ian with sorrowful eyes. Ian scoffed loudly when he saw the old man in his peripherals, the red-head turned to Mickey, he'd seen it to.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Was all the Milkovich said before standing up and moving around the table. Lloyd flinched when he came close, assuming, like everyone else did, that Mickey was going to hit him. But Mickey just walked straight passed the older man and was almost out of the kitchen when a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"What is your god damn problem?" Lloyd asked, apparently growing some balls now that Ian was showing no sign of giving a shit that he was leaving.

Ian immediately raced to Mickey's side, turning with the boy he loved to both face Lloyd. "What is it with you… You just attracted to assholes or summit?" The ex-con asked, still looking towards the old man in front of him.

"Well you're an asshole, so I guess so," Ian retorted playfully, also not looking away from Lloyd. "Dunno if this counts as attraction though," he added, knowing his lover is talking about Ian's 'relationship' with Lloyd. "More a distraction," he clarified, "From you and you're latest asshole behaviour." He smirked when he finally looked at Mickey, the older boy returning his gaze with a faint smile.

"Someone wanna fill me in on the joke?" Jimmy said, his face mirroring his father's confusion.

"The good doctor ain't going nowhere." Mickey declared with a snort, a pitiful smile gracing his lips as he shook his head.

"What the hell…" Lloyd started.

"He's fucking bored." Mickey cut him off, turning to look at Jimmy. "He's not getting enough attention, got no more wife, no more boy toy…" Ian smacked his shoulder when Mickey gestured to him, both boys smiling quickly. "And no more doting son, what with your new family getting… What… All of your time now?"

"So he pretended to be moving away?" Fiona said back, obviously not convinced.

"Probably wanted sonny boy here to beg him to stay, tell him he still needed him around, didn't want him and his midlife fucking crisis to leave… Or some shit like that. First thing he did when that didn't happen, was look at his favourite one time fuck buddy here… kicked puppy eyes and everything. Guess he was still hoping Ian would give a shit." Mickey's words were confident and mocking, Lloyds face giving away there truth.

"See that's the thing about my brother," Mandy interrupted with a smile, having noticed Lloyd's silent admission, "He may look, and act, as thick as pig shit," Mandy unsuccessfully dodged the baby toy that Mickey hurled at her face and raised her hands in an insincere gesture of surrender. "Fact is though, he's fucking smart when he wants to be… Street smart anyway… Can read people better than anyone I ever met… Can't hide anything from Mickey… Pain in the ass for me, growing up I couldn't get away with shit." She finished her little rant with a proud smirk, and a wink at her best friend, a silent warning that he should never try to get one other on her brother.

"I don't… By the way." Ian added after a moment's silence, he wasn't trying to kick Lloyd while he was down, but he knew the friction that his fling with the doctor had created for his sister and Jimmy. He needed them to both understand just how concretely over it was so that they didn't have to spend the next few nights resentful of each other and their respective families. "Give a shit… I mean," Ian added, trying not to sound callous or further hurt an already defeated looking Lloyd. "I don't not give a shit, I just don't care either way… shit… I mean…" Mickey snorted out an amused laugh at Ian's hopeless mumbling. "You're a nice enough guy Ned… Lloyd… Fucking, Dr Lishman, but apparently I only really like douche bags." He said, pointing his thumb at Mickey, smiling politely at Lloyd. He didn't really need to point out that Lloyd was never more than a reaction to Mickey in the first place, didn't need to tell him that everything Ian's done since that first time with the Milkovich boy has been about Mickey.

Fiona smiled at her brother, eyes thanking him for the sentiment, for trying. But she could already tell that this was going to get much messier before it got any better.

"Are you that lonely?" Jimmy asked deflated father. His voice was quiet and hesitant.

"What the hell do you know?" Was his only response before Lloyd charged passed him, passed Ian and Mickey, through the living room and out of the front door.

Jimmy sighed heavily before turning to Fiona apologetically, "I gotta go deal with this." He said softly, she smiled comfortingly at her boyfriend and he turned to follow his father out of the Gallagher house.

* * *

"Well that was fun!" Lip shouted, jumping down from his seat and clapping his hands together. Carl and Hank were already distracted with flinging bits of plastic at each other, the same plastic that had previously been up their noses. Liam was still sat in his high chair, largely staying out of the way. The rest of the current occupants of the Gallagher kitchen though, they all looked between Lip, Fiona, Ian and Mickey. The latter three seeming to be the most involved with the nights events.

"Jesus Christ." Fiona spat out, slamming her hand on the table as she threw herself back down into her seat. "Was that really necessary?" She asked angrily, turning to face Mickey to avoid any confusion as to who the question was directed to.

"What?" He returned defensively, "Telling the fucking truth?"

"In front of everyone?" She gestured to the people sat around the table, Mickey laughed an annoyed laugh and shrugged his shoulders.

"He asked a fucking question, I answered it." He stated honestly.

"That simple?" Disbelief filled Fiona's voice as her anger refused to subside.

"Isn't it always with me? I am a Milkovich after all!" He snorted, turning on his heal and walking into the living room to let out an extended breath. He paced the room a few times, trying to breathe his own anger out of his system, before looking up at Ian to try and gauge whether or not the red-head was also pissed at him. Ian just smiled his best calming smile, then turned back to his family in the kitchen.

"So this is all Mickey's fault?" Ian asked quietly, voice filled with a kind of sad acceptance.

Fiona just looked to her little brother, her features screaming 'who else's could it be'. She shook her head slightly as she returned her gaze to the table.

"He did kinda dig the boot in with Lloyd, don't ya think little brother?" Lip said calmly, realising his sister wasn't going to speak and Ian actually wanted an answer.

"Seriously?" Ian was beyond dumbfounded, could they really not see everything that happened here. How it all really played out. How Mickey was pushed and undermined at every turn, insulted and judged openly. How he was constantly underestimated, how he held off longer than he ever normally would and that even when he did break and let rip, he still held back and bit his tongue. They really didn't see any of that, because as dumb as they think Mickey is, Mandy's right, the ex-con is incredibly perceptive and the older generation in that kitchen really do think the Milkovich boy is that simple. That he is just a definition, not a real person with depth but a caricature drawn in black and white. They think he's bad news, no more, no less.

"Yes seriously, Ian." Fiona yelled, her angry face softened though, the minute she saw Ian's disheartened stare. "Listen kiddo, I know you like…" She bit her lip into her mouth and exhaled. "I know you love him, but you wanted us to try and we did. That's what this meal was about…"

"Oh my god, you gotta be kidding me." Ian interrupted. "I really thought this dinner was about you finally giving Mickey a chance…" He laughed bitterly to himself. "But it wasn't was it? It was about you proving me wrong… About Mickey doing something wrong, fucking up and proving you were right all along! Well guess what… Mickey didn't fuck up, he did nothing wrong … Your plan failed and you still can't admit that maybe it's you who's wrong." Ian was livid now, he turned to see Mickey, still pacing in the living room, but looking at the red-head all the while, eyes wide and uncertain, face completely dismayed. A look he knew was on his face as well, a look neither boy ever wanted to see on the others face again.

"Didn't do anything wrong?" Fiona asked incredulously, "You heard what he said, in front of the kids, that little speech he gave about being an asshole and a faggot?" Fiona said, disgusted at the use of that last word.

Ian turned back to face his sister, anger now replaced by a knowing calm. He was completely at the end of his tether. Here there were, him and Mickey, having beat the threat of his father, survived him been outed to the rest of his family, hell moved past their own individual conflicts, both inner and together, only to be thrown another hurdle in the shape of his own family. The people Ian never had to worry had his back, the people Ian could always rely on. The frustration the red-head felt came from the fact that he knew the place this was all coming from was a good place, knew it was out of love and not malice, like it had been with the Milkovich horde. His family were trying to protect him but they were too stubborn to realise it wasn't Mickey that was hurting him right now.

"You think that's all Mickey is?" He said softly, no longer trying to win them over, resigned to the fact he probably never will. "He only said all that because it's what you think, what you've been waiting for since the day he moved in. He said exactly what you wanted him to say because he knows it's all you woulda heard anyway… Jesus, you didn't give him a chance did you, not really, from the minute he sat down…" Ian trailed off, not feeling like explaining what he meant, they must know how they treated Mickey, villainized him from the offset… And if they didn't, if they honestly couldn't see it? Well that was too bad. He didn't even try to hide the moisture gathering in his eyes when he spoke again. "Well I'm done! I can't deal with this crap anymore, so as of now I'm moving out!"

"What?" Fiona shouted, rising to her feet as Ian turned to walk away.

"It will take me a while, I'll still add to the squirrel fund, but as of now I'm saving any extra money I get and as soon as I have enough… I'm moving out." He confirmed, voice serious and unquestionable.

"Ian, don't be ridiculous… You have West Point to worry about, school… There's no point moving out now, you'll be packing up and moving on the second you sign the lease." Fiona tried to argue, her voice filled with desperation.

"Then I'll have a place of my own to come back to wont I." He didn't turn around, just spoke with his head down and back to everyone in the kitchen.

"You already do…" Fiona pleaded, trying so hard to think of what else to say, of how to persuade Ian to change his mind.

"You don't want Mickey here," he said back, turning his head but not his body, glancing between Lip and Fiona, who were both staring at him with wide, emotional eyes. "I get it… I do… And I love you for caring so much, I always will… But I need Mickey, I wanna be where he is," He tried to offer a comforting smile but his lips fell short. "And how can he be here, where he'll never be comfortable, never fit in… Never be happy… I need a place of my own because one day he might agree for it to be his as well, this place will never be his… So it can't be mine either." He knew he wasn't being very coherent, knew he was letting emotion drip through his words, but at least his family would be able to see the absolute honesty behind them, they wouldn't be able to argue with that, not even Lip.

Ian turned around again, he didn't raise his eyes from the floor, knowing Mickey had heard every word, unable to look up at him just yet. Fiona moved to follow Ian but Lip gently grabbed her shoulder, Vee stood too and rested her hand on Fi's other shoulder blade, smiling warmly at her, trying to offer comfort. Fiona looked between her eldest brother and her best friend, tears welling up her eyes and falling lazily down her cheek. Her face was screaming for a resolution, wide eyes pleading for someone to tell her what to do, but Lip just shook his head and muttered warmly, "Just give him some time, some space…"

When Ian finally looked up at the blue eyes he couldn't live without, Mickey had stopped pacing. Standing dead still, his body facing the television, arms hanging by his sides. Head angled slightly down with his shoulders hunched, but his face was turned to look straight at Ian, into Ian, wide eyes locked onto his, lips slightly parted and brows furrowed in shock.

"What the hell was that?" Mickey sounded forceful without being angry.

"Mick," Ian said back, arms raised slightly to calm an already calm boy, unsure of what was bubbling away under the surface. "I'm not giving up on West Point, and I'm not giving up my family… But I'm not giving you up either and that's what it would take to stay here." He tried to sound determined but he couldn't hide the panic in his voice when Mickey didn't react. "Look, I'm not asking you to move in with me, not asking for a fucking wedding ring or anything…" Still nothing from Mickey as the younger boy remembered what he'd said to Fiona, 'a place of my own, he might agree for it to be his as well…' Silence. "Jesus Mick, I just meant…"

"When do we start looking?" Mickey said with such conviction that Ian had to do a double take. He hadn't moved a muscle yet somehow his stance looked completely different. There was no smirk on his face, no smugness to his voice… There he was, giving Ian everything he knew the younger boy wanted and all that was written on his face was calmness, happiness even, hell there was a normality there that Mickey was probably freaking out about, at least he would have been a few months ago. All of these emotions that were so clearly displayed in Mickey's haunting blue eyes, the older boy would have once masked with arrogance, with a sarcastic or mocking tone, he would have hid behind a false bravado to cover up the blatant love that now encapsulated him.

Ian didn't think twice, he hurled himself forward and grabbed the back of Mickey's neck, bringing their lips together with a crash. He kissed him hard… again with this feeling of normality. Mickey kissed back immediately… more normality. The kiss didn't have to lead to sex… A surprising, and somewhat teasing, normality. Ian smiled against his lover's lips as he realised just how much he cherished this new normality between. The normality that both boys had once strived for, that always seemed so hard to keep together, was now so natural and easy that neither boy had really noticed they had found it.

"I love you so fucking much." Ian whispered into the smaller boy's mouth. Instantly smiling because he knew the older boy wouldn't run away at his declaration. His smile only grew when the older boy growled against his lips and pulled him ever closer.

"I, bloody, love you too." He said, unfaltering and unafraid. "I really fucking do." His voice was hushed but his statement was bold. Ian didn't need to comment, didn't need to react at all, other than to continue the kiss that was threatening to completely overpower him.

"You're not simple!" Once again their moment was interrupted by Carl's innocent declaration. He stood in the doorway with Hank on one side and Debbie on the other. "You're fucking cool!" Carl expanded with a wide smile. Little Hank agreed with head nod, obviously content that the description need no further elaboration.

"Yeah… You're OK I guess," Debbie added with a smirk and a head nod. "Hurt him and we're gonna have trouble though!" Her voice was full of mirth as she pointed to Ian and raised an eyebrow. She smiled a bright, toothy smile before turning on the spot and marching out the room, and with that all three kids vanished as quickly as they had appeared. A quick "Ow, fucker," from Hank when Carl pushed him into the corner of the washing machine, followed by a "Don't bloody swear," from Debbie and then the living room was once again filled with silence.

"Well at least some of my family like you…" Ian deadpanned, looking sideways at Mickey who was now standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Yeah?" Mickey remarked, "Well I'm pretty sure the fucking baby does too, so that's three of your weird ass siblings on side. Only one of my family 'likes you is Mandy, so that puts me ahead Gallagher." He taunted.

"You're family doesn't even like _you_." Ian jabbed back, instantly regretting when the words left his mouth. He saw that same look from earlier creep onto Mickey's face and kicked himself for being so stupid, for surrounding Mickey with his own family when Mickey's had just abandoned him.

Then Mickey laughed, a throaty guttural laugh that had Ian instinctually following suit. "Fuck 'em!" Mickey proclaimed, and when Ian looked at him with confusion etched across his face, the ex-con just rolled his eyes and smirked, "Got you ain't I?" He smiled honestly before biting his lip with his teeth and raising his eyebrows.

Ian just smiled back brightly and shook his head. He looked up to the ceiling and let out a short laugh of his own then exhaled a deep breath. He looked back to the kitchen when he heard Debbie telling Carl off again, this time for twisting Hank's arm behind his back. Ian smiled as he said "Thanks for that by the way?"

Mickey scowled half-heartedly, "What for now?" He asked cautiously.

"For letting them see the Mickey I see." Ian said, looking deep into the older boy's blue eyes again, the eyes he often found himself completely lost in.

"Oh…" Mickey laughed, "They don't get to see half of what you see." He continued with a devilish, and very suggestive, smirk.

Ian returned the, hopefully just as seductive, grin and without another word the two boys were out the door and fighting each other down the street with only one destination in mind, the roof, their god damn roof.


	11. Chapter 11

"You really want to up and leave home?" Lip shouted as he darted down the stairs after Ian.

Mickey exhaled, sat on the sofa. He knew where this was going, has seen it building for days, since Ian first announced he wanted out of the Gallagher mansion. And when Lip followed Ian up the stairs, after the red-head had stood up to go to the toilet, avoiding the one in the kitchen for the sole reason that Lip was in their obviously itching for a confrontation, Mickey knew this was going to happen now whether anyone was ready for it to or not.

"I want a place where Mickey can be at home!" Ian shot back, Mickey could only assume that he missed the beginning of this conversation because Lip just rolled his eyes like they were still going round in circles.

But honestly, Mickey agreed with Lip, and Fiona, and Vee and Kev and everyone else. He was petrified that Ian was rushing into this for his benefit. He didn't want the red-head to resent him for tearing him away from his family when he wasn't really ready to leave. And to tell the truth, Mickey didn't think Ian was ready, he knew how much his green eyed lover would miss this rabble of a household. He also knew that Ian was scared the older Gallagher's animosity toward him was going to push the ex-con away and he's tried to show the younger boy that that isn't even close to the truth but Ian is stubborn and once an idea is in his head it cannot be taken away from him. His determination, it seems, is only paralleled by his stupidity, because the red-head hasn't even thought of the downside to such a big step. He hasn't considered what will happen if he can't deal with Mickey alone, without the distraction of his family. Mickey has, he's thought through every scenario and he honestly believes there is nothing that Ian could do that he hasn't accounted for, no habit he doesn't already know about, and no quirk that he doesn't already love. And in none of Mickey's scenarios does he regret living with the boy he loves, but he doesn't know if Ian will be able to say the same.

So he decides to speak up, decides to tell the kid the harsh reality of the bad choice he's about to make, only he can't bring himself to think of it as a bad choice because the idea of him and Ian alone in a place of their own cannot possible be a bad thing in Mickey's mind. Him staying in a place surrounded by people who don't trust or accept him – well Mickey can concede that is a bad idea. Except in this case, because those people are Ian's family and Mickey would move mountains to make it work there if it meant being close to a happy red-head. His reasons for being willing to stay are smart, they are genuine and well thought out. Ian's reasons for wanting to leave are not, they are naïve and ill advised. On top of that they are selfless, solely for Mickey's benefit and that just spells trouble for down the line when Mickey can't make the same sacrifice for him. The ex-con won't be able to change Ian's mind, but maybe he can stop his reasoning.

"What the fuck do you think is home for me, Gallagher?" Mickey yelled before Lip could say anything back to his brother. He turned as he rose from the sofa and looked Ian straight in the eye, raising his arms in question. "Let's forget for a second just how damn stupid a reason that is… You think I want a home? You know what home means to me? Fuck all… You think the fucking Milkovich house was a happy home? Fuck no!" Mickey pauses to gauge Ian's reaction, the younger boy's furrowed brows reveal his anger, but he's still listening intently so Mickey continues. "This place?" he said, swivelling on the spot to gesture around the Gallagher abode. "Ian, this place is yours, I mean, your fat fuck of a cousin owns it but it's your house. It's the fucking Gallagher house, and you can pretend you don't care all you want but you love it here. It's your god damn home. The Milkovich house was a shit tip, through and fucking through. There were no god damn dinner parties, thank fuck, 'cause the Milkovich's couldn't even fucking pretend to do civilised. There was no family bonding or shit like that, there was fighting, swearing, drinking… A shit tonne of yelling. The place was a fucking prison, avoiding Terry when he was drunk, avoiding Terry when he was high, avoiding Terry when he was pissed off - which was fucking all the time. That's home to me… I ain't looking for another fucking home, I already had one and it sucked, don't need a replacement." Mickey yelled out, his tone a strange mixture of harsh and tender, because he wanted to show Ian that what he wanted to offer Mickey was not what the ex-con needed, not what he wanted even, but he needed the red-head to know that he was grateful for the gesture all the same.

"That isn't home Mickey." Ian protested, his anger getting lost behind a wave of longing. He didn't feel pity for Mickey because he knew the older boy didn't need or want it. But he was desperate to show his lover the happiness that a home could bring, the stability. "Home is the place you feel safe, the place you never really want to leave and if you do leave – the place you want to miss and come back to. You've never had a home, not really." Ian pleaded.

And that was too much, because Mickey realised the underlying bullshit of what he said before. Sure, the Milkovich house was far from perfect but Mickey hated the thought of not having a home because, he realised, he never felt like that growing up. He never felt like he had no place to go. Sure he didn't want to be at home half the time but he never felt like he had nothing, like he had no one and it was unfair to those he did have to suggest otherwise. And suddenly, he felt guilty, like he was undermining his sister, his brothers, who'd shared his childhood with him and who'd given him worth.

"Fuck you, Gallagher, I don't need fucking saving or some shit. I know what home is meant to be, but I also know what it is for me." Mickey slowly rounded the couch as he spoke, eyes fixed on Ian's and hands emoting his words without him even realising. "The Milkovich house was a dump, a fucking cess pit at best. But it was all I fucking knew and I fitted there. You think I fit here?" He asked honestly, "With your family?" They both knew the answer to that but Ian needed to know that it went further than just this house. "You think I'm gonna fit in a cosy fucking apartment for two?" He asked with even more gravity. "No, I'm a Milkovich. I fitted there and I woulda fucking died to protect it because it was a dump and it was a fucking nightmare… But it was mine, and it was my fucking brothers and Mandy's and I would kill for them. I know what you lot think, that we're all just a waste of fucking space. No good pieces of shit… and you think that I was what? Just some fucking shell, some mini Terry, living there but the fucked up part of it all is that for all the shit that went down in that god forsaken hell hole, I remember the good shit just as much." Because Mickey had been right about not needing a new home, but not because he hated the idea of home but because he already had one that, despite the shit that went with it, he wouldn't change.

"So no…" He continued, "I didn't have your sorta home, I had my own. Instead of fucking cuddles and comfort, I had fighting and bitching… Instead of smiles and all that hippy, togetherness bullshit, I had a battlefield and a 'do it your fucking self' attitude. But I had a family too, Gallagher, my brothers were there, Mandy was there, and screw Terry because they were who mattered, we fought the fucking world together because that's what Milkovich siblings did, had to do. No, the Gallagher mansion will never be my home, but neither will whatever shitty apartment we can afford on your crappy wages and my damn drug money. And I wouldn't want either of 'em to be because I know what hand I got dealt and I'm good with it, fuck it, I'm proud of it… I already have a home Gallagher, and so do you and you love it here more than you could ever like living in some crummy little place with me." Mickey slammed his point home because he needed to make sure there was no confusion as to what he was saying. Standing directly in front of his Gallagher, close enough to feel his breath brushing over his face, Mickey was filled with a determination that even Ian's stubbornness couldn't match.

"I know…" Ian said, resigned but not deflated. Like none of that mattered anyway. He took the small step to close the gap between him and his lover and leant forward, their foreheads pressed together as Ian raised his hands to cup Mickey's face. "I know," he said again with a smile on his lips.

"Ian…" Lip spoke soothingly, almost as if to comfort his younger brother, who he assumed had now seen sense and was going to stay. But Ian waved a hand to silence him, he didn't need comfort and he hadn't changed his mind.

Because once again, Ian sees things differently to his lover. Mickey sees Ian's motives as selfless, as a way to save the older boys wounded soul or some shit. But that's not what it is, Ian's motivation is completely selfish, and simple – he wants Mickey to himself, he wants Mickey by his side all of the time. All that absence makes the heart grow fonder crap can go to hell because Ian's sick of waiting, of missing Mickey, they did all of that for too long and now he just wants the forever to start. The 'together forever' bullshit that follows the whole _'if you love something set it free, and if it comes back it's meant to be'_ shit because him and Mickey did come back. They clawed their way back to each other and now he wants their lives to be obstacle free, disruption free. He knows Mickey see this as a sacrifice, one that he doesn't think he'll be able to return. But Ian knows different. Because Mickey already made a bigger sacrifice, he chose Ian over his family, he lost everything he'd been taught to fight for since birth and he gave it all up for Ian. His father, his brothers, his fucked up home… But Ian's not sacrificing anything because he knows his family, this house, will still be there for him no matter where he goes. He's not giving up anything, he's doing this to gain Mickey.

"I know all that Mick." He said softly, closing his eyes against Mickey's head. "I know what you are, you're forgetting that I've seen the real you, every fucking inch of it. I'm still here though because I love that you're a Milkovich, I love that you're fiercely loyal, even to people who don't deserve it." The words _'like your brothers who gave up on you as soon as they found out who you really are, even though what you are is nothing to be ashamed of'_ never left his lips but they certainly crossed his mind. "I love that you're stronger than anyone I have ever met, that I can't imagine the shit you've been through but that I'm not scared of it because you're too damn stubborn to let it beat you." He opened his eyes to see Mickey still staring at him with a look of complete devotion. "I love that everyone else thinks you're a piece of shit because it means I'm the one who gets to know the truth, the only one. I'm the one you chose to let in…" Ian pulled away from Mickey and stood tall, hands hanging by his waist and eyes returning Mickey's glare proudly.

"I don't wanna replace your fucking childhood Mickey," he proclaimed honestly, a humour to the words that let Mickey know he wasn't offended that he couldn't. "Or to shower you with affection and shit, wrap you in a blanket to heal old scars. I love your fucking scars. And you're right, a shitty apartment will never replace this house, my home, I don't want it to either because I'm proud of where I grew up. But I don't need to be babied either, I don't need these walls as protection anymore Mick. I don't need home anymore, I need space of my own, I need to fucking live outside of this house, this safety bubble. I wanna do that with you because, honestly, you're the reason I don't need it anymore. I love this place, I do, but I love you too and I want to figure us out now, I already know what the Gallagher house is, what it's gonna be for as long as I live, what I want now is to live with you and find out what that means, what that entails. And I get that we're gonna argue at first, and have to get used to each other properly but I know everything about you already and I wouldn't change a thing. I know you're gonna use the last of the god damn toilet roll and not replace it…" Ian grinned and Mickey laughed. "I know you're gonna hog the covers when it's cold and push them onto me when it's too hot…" He continued, missing out the fact that when it's cold Mickey always wraps a warming arm around Ian's stomach and the red-head forgets all about needing blankets.

Mickey smiled at that because the red-head had thought it through, yeah he was probably completely romanticising it in his head, and it's definitely going to be a shock to his system when it actually happens. But Ian's right, just like Mickey knows all of Ian's characteristics already, so Ian knows Mickeys. He knows the good, the bad, the ugly and the weird.

"I mean, I'm not going to push ya Mick, if you're not ready… I mean, if you're scared…?" Ian teased, smirking when the older boy tilted his head and scoffed.

"Really, you're gonna try manipulate me, reverse psychology and all that psychobabble bullshit?" He retorted with an amused grin.

"It working?" Ian asked cockily, raising his eyebrows and failing to properly mask his own beaming smile, he already knew the answer.

"I'm not cleaning up your shit, hell you'll be lucky if I clean up my own. No fucking flowers in the place and I'm bringing my god damn gun." He ordered with a softness to his voice that betrayed the fact that his list of rules had been shortened in favour of compromise. Despite what he'd said about never being home, Mickey knew that a shitty little apartment with Gallagher was the only place he wanted to live right now, only place he'd ever want to be. Yeah the Milkovich house was an irreplaceable part of his past, a past that Mickey couldn't ever bring himself to hate, but Gallagher was his future, one he couldn't wait to start.

"Deal!" Ian shouted victoriously, mentally coming up with his own list of regulations he fully intended to try and make the Milkovich boy at least think about pretending to follow.

"I get it." Lip said from behind the two boys, both having forgotten he was even there. "I know you won't believe me because I've kinda been saying I get it and then like 5 seconds later, turning on you two again… But I do, I get it." Lip smiled genuinely at his brother before turning to the boy who he wanted to hate for stealing him away. "I can't really threaten you Mickey, can't really say anything like _"Break his heart and I'll break your face," _because we both know how it would end if I tried, but he's my brother and I love him so please, just take care of him OK? He's not exactly delicate," He said with a smirk, playfully grabbing at his younger brothers larger frame before Ian could push him off, "But it's still my job to worry about him." He finished, an honesty in his eyes that Mickey immediately related to, because he knew what being a brother meant.

Mickey could have said something sarcastic, something quick witted and macho, or he could have gone with a half-truth, an honest comment hidden by a veil of humour or ego. "I'm too selfish to hurt him," was what the older boy settled on, because it was true. The situation they were in wasn't about one boy being able to hurt the other, it was about their pain being shared, if one got hit they both bled, if one was hurting they were both fighting back tears. Mickey didn't want to hurt Ian because the only way he could inflict the sort of hurt that Lip was talking about was to break Ian's heart, to leave him, to walk away. Mickey couldn't walk away because to hurt Ian like that would be to kill himself and Mickey wasn't suicidal. Both Ian and Mickey were far too selfish at this point, to even consider walking away because they loved each other and they weren't prepared to lose the thing that kept them feeling alive and untouchable.

Lip nodded and turned back to Ian, reaching out and pulling the younger boy into a tight hug.

"Ummm," Ian choked out, gasping for breath as he tried to pry his brother off of him, "You know I'm not actually leaving yet Lip, gotta actually find a place first." He staggered out as Lip continued to cling to him.

"Yep." Lip said, frozen in the hug as he mentally did the math on just how long it would probably take Ian and Mickey to save enough money to actually move, and then find a place they were willing to even attempt to make liveable. Lip released his grip with huff of mock disgust at the public intimacy, shoving Ian away lightly before dusting himself off and coughing as virile a cough as he could muster.

"Yeah have fun with that." Lip proclaimed happily, enjoying the thought of having his bigger little brother close for a while longer yet.

"Yeah, might take a while, guess the first step is to start actually earning more money, so if you have anything in the works," Ian asked, turning to Lip and looking directly into his eyes, trying to convey just how serious he was. "I want in."

"What happened to avoiding all things criminal, can't get into West Point with a record." Lip stated matter-of-factly.

"Lip, come on, I'm not talking armed robbery here, I just wanna make more than a couple of bucks an hour or it's gonna take years till I've saved enough." The red-head protested back.

"So…" Mickey interrupted unapologetically, "would now be a good time to tell you that I got a job?" Mickey beamed, "Or should I wait till you two have finished bickering?"

"You what… how… when?" Ian fluttered out rapidly, trying to remember a time in the last few weeks that he wasn't by the Milkovich boy's side. Confusion consuming his face as guilt creeped into his veins, a stupid feeling that he should have noticed, should have known.

Mickey just laughed a triumphant laughed and smirked his own shit eating grin, simplicity of it was – Ian didn't know because Mickey didn't want Ian to know, not until it was concrete anyway. The ex-con crossed his arms over his puffed out chest and decided to put a puzzled Ian out of his misery. "Well," he started patronisingly, leaning forward and smirking at Ian's aggravated stance. "The other day when you refused to skip that fucking maths test that was just so god damn important for your future," Mickey spat out with mock sarcasm, truth was he was intrigued by and somewhat proud of Ian's unfaltering determination. "Well turns out I _did _do something useful with my day."

Ian's face softened at the memory of the jibe he had dished out to his favourite ex-con when Mickey had huffed out a disgruntled _"well what the fuck am I supposed to do for a whole fucking day?" _as the younger boy marched out the front door with his back pack slung over his shoulder.

"You got a job?" Lip quizzed with only half the pessimism that Mickey had expected from him.

"I fucking said so didn't I," he blasted back with less than half the hostility that Lip had expected.

"Well don't keep us in suspense Mickey, do tell…" Lip replied, leaning down and gesturing his hand in a mock salute, a theatrical way of saying that Mickey had the floor.

"Ha, fuck you," Mickey blasted back, his gloating grin not leaving his face. The ex-con turned to his favourite red-head and finally expanded. "Ya know Matty? The lanky prick who owns the garage down on 63rd street? Well he owed me a favour and he's shit scared of my dad, so between the favour and the blackmail," he explained nonchalantly, like blackmail was as natural as a morning greeting, "I got me a job."

"You the cleaner?" Lip smirked, "Or better yet… the receptionist?" He was all but bouncing with excitement at the thought of Mickey doing menial work for little pay, knowing how much it would piss the older boy off.

"Hi-larious," Mickey deadpanned.

"Seriously Mick," Ian smiled, his pride almost devouring him as he stood, staring deep into his lover's eyes, the blue orbs that hadn't left his even when Lip had made his snarky remark and Mickey answered him. "You're a mechanic?" He smirked and raised an eyebrow, the idea of being able to give his favourite thug a title made the younger boy more than a little bit excitable it seemed.

Lip snorted again, obviously still unconvinced by Mickey's sudden development of skills beyond drug taking and dealing.

"Fuck you!" Mickey scoffed, still not turning away from Ian. "I can fix fucking anything, even that pile of junk in your back yard if the price was right." He smiled cockily as Ian rolled his eyes.

"You know you can't just kick cars to make them work again?" Lip asked all too seriously for Mickey's liking.

"Shit, now you fucking tell me…" He responded blankly, his smile only returning when Ian moved back into view and he saw the younger boy's bright green eyes reflecting the smile that hadn't faltered since Mickey first began to explain. He shook his head and bit his bottom lip before sighing and carrying on with his explanation. "My mum was fucking him," he blurted out with no emotion behind the words, just cold hard fact, "She'd say she was taking me the doctors, or the dentist, or the fucking hairdresser, some shit to get out of the house, then she'd leave me at the garage while her and Matty fucked off to his place." He scanned his lover's face before turning to see the smirk wiped off of Lips. "There was a guy who worked there, Danny, fucker was built like a brick shit house, muscles bigger than his brains even though the son of a bitch was like 70. Good mechanic though, felt sorry for me I guess, taught me how to fix cars like it was fucking second nature," Mickey paused to smile at the memory of Danny smashing a customer's cars window just so he could show him how to change it, before realising that he'd have to order in a new windshield. When the couple came by later to pick up their car and Matty pitched a fit at being called away from his booty call to deal with the angry pair, Danny had refused to let Mickey take the blame so Mickey did the only thing he could think of. He smashed another of the cars windows and ripped the wing mirrors off, shouting the whole time that he fucking hated Mercedes and only fucking ponse's owned cars that were bigger than some people's houses. Matty couldn't bring himself to ban Mickey from the garage because no Mickey meant no Mickey's mum so when the young miscreant returned the next day, Danny had lined up a set of tools for Mickey to keep, he couldn't take them home obviously but they were stored at the garage for Mickey to use whenever he could get away from the Milkovich house and come and practice his new skills. "Taught me how to fight too, and how destroy evidence and shit."

"Sounds like a real inspiration." Ian said with a smile.

"Yeah," Mickey laughed, nodding along with his memories that still swirled around his mind. "Fucker got sent down for some robbery his piece of shit son ballsed up, died in prison protecting another young sap from becoming some guys bitch."

Silence seemed to echo through the house as neither Gallagher boy wanted to speak and Mickey stayed lost in his thoughts. Eventually though the ex-con shook himself back to reality and looked straight back into Ian's eyes, hopefully finding the comfort there that the younger boy tried to offer.

"Anyway, I kept my mouth shut about the affair, gave some guy a beat down who threatened to take Matty to court over some faulty fucking breaks and helped him out with some non-paying customers, even convinced his workers not to go on quit once when he docked there wages so he could take a trip to Vegas. So the fucker owes me, took me on." Mickey said quickly, firmly, not really feeling the need to explain, but for some reason wanting to.

"Just like that?" Lip asked, ever the optimist when it came to Mickey. Ian scowled at his brother as Mickey breathed out a deep breath.

"No," he exclaimed tiredly. "Matty's a fucking coward and he's terrified to Terry, so we got an arrangement. Terry doesn't find out he's helping me, doesn't find out he screwed his wife and conned him out of money for car repairs he didn't actually do. In exchange, I get a regular pay check, full time wage without the 9-5 daily fucking routine."

"So he's paying you not to work, he's effectively paying you to keep your mouth shut?" The older Gallagher boy quipped back.

"Jesus Christ man, I thought you were a genius. I said I wouldn't be doing 9-5, I didn't say I wouldn't be fucking working. I got Danny's old set of keys, can let myself into the garage whenever the fuck I want, he gives me a list of cars that need fixing and so long as I do them all on time I get the full pay check." Mickey begrudgingly explained, bored of the conversation now that the initial buzz of one upping everyone else had worn off.

"So you could do one hour a week and so long as all the cars you had to fix were fixed… you'd get paid for the full 9-5, 5 days a week thing?" Ian asked, voice erupting with pride at Mickey's ability to con himself into a job.

"Uh huh," He replied, "And so long as none of the other workers find out, I got the job for the foreseeable future." Mickey smiled again at his red-head before jumping on the spot at the sudden memory of something. "Oh and its cash in hand so no fucking tax."

"So not strictly legal then." Lip interjected, but it wasn't judgement in his voice then, the genius was impressed. He smiled at the ex-con and nodded his head approvingly.

"Best jobs never are." Mickey said back, with a smirk of his own. "So," Mickey shouted with a clap of his hands that made Lip jump and Ian refocus his gaze back toward the ex-con as they both turned their heads to face each other again. "When do we start looking?" He asked with a smile, for the second time.

The grin currently splitting Ian's face in two should not have been so god damn addictive, but Mickey couldn't help love it, love that he was the reason for it. Lip seemed to finally get that too, he finally understood that it wasn't a fluke, a coincidence that Ian only smiled that way around Mickey, that the ex-con wasn't going to break that smile, he was going to keep adding to it. Because the brighter Ian's smile got the bigger and more genuine Mickey's grew to mirror it. Lip understood now that neither boy were in danger, and at the same time both of them were because although Ian and Mickey would fight for this thing between them with everything they had, if it did somehow end then the loss would destroy them both. And maybe that should worry Lip, the fact that he can see his brother's attachment to, his dependence on, the older boy, shining like a beacon between them, getting stronger with every passing second, but he wasn't. He wasn't worried in the slightest, because there was a reason he had been taught to always steer clear of the Milkovich's, to fear Mickey above the rest. Because Mickey was unpredictable, borderline psychotic, he was rough and hardened and god damn scary sometimes, so if anyone could protect Ian then it was him.

This time, when Ian launched himself forward into the, almost waiting, arms of his lover and pressed their lips together in a kiss that should have been painful, a battle of strength that neither boy seemed to want to win, both too addicted to the feeling of the fight. When his little brother propelled himself into a lust filled embrace with a thug that Lip didn't know how not to be intimidated by yet, he didn't scoff or retreat, he didn't scowl or judge. Lip just smiled and laughed to himself at the thought of the big bad wolf that was Mickey Milkovich being tamed by his little brother. And when Mickey broke the embrace to turn to Lip and scowl, when he pulled his arm back and punched Lip square on the jaw, with maybe just a little less force than he could have done, Lip remembered what Mandy and Ian had told him about Mickey. About how observant he is when no one thinks he's even paying attention, how well he can read people, how he seems to know what you're thinking before you can even fully form the thought and Lip smiled again, laughed quieter this time because maybe Mickey hadn't been tamed after all. Maybe it was just Ian that got a free pass, but the feet didn't seem any less miraculous to Lip and in that moment he was proud of Ian for it.

"So," he said, clapping his hands to mimic Mickey's earlier action, slightly riled when it didn't have the same impact, and in fact Mickey and Ian barely acknowledged him at all. "I still got a load of the flyers the estate agent gave me and Fiona when we thought Patrick was gonna kick us out of this place," he stated, voice trying to convey how genuinely he wanted to help. "I know you don't need a place as big as we were looking for but the agent was a dick and chucked in a load of info about apartment buildings and shit 'cause he figured we were broke."

Lip sounded annoyed at the assumption so Ian laughed and pointed out that they were broke, to which Lip just shrugged and said the guy was still a prick and offered Mickey his address if he wanted to go defend Ian's honour, an act that earned him another punch – although this time his attacker didn't hold back, the punch was full force to the arm, the punch thrower – Ian.

"You two done?" Mickey asked calmly as Ian dodged Lip's retaliatory blow. "Come on, we got shit to do."

And with that Ian was back by Mickey's side and the two walked to the front door of the Gallagher house, pushing and shoving like excitable kids who've just been given money to spend at a fair and can't wait to get there. Lip stared awkwardly for a few seconds, not knowing whether he was welcome to intrude if this was supposed to be their thing or something, so he shuffled his feet and clicked his tongue, looking around for something else to grab his attention.

"You fucking coming or not?" Mickey called from the other side of the front door and Ian laughed at Mickey's idea of a welcoming invitation. Lip, however, didn't expect any different and didn't hesitate to turn on his heal and sprint after his brother and his brother's lover, the three boys walking down the road, seemingly as normal as anyone else on the streets of South Side, Chicago.


	12. Chapter 12

**Just a small one to keep the updates coming :) hope you like. And once again - thank you so much to everyone who takes time to review, favourite, and follow! (You're all awesome :D)**

"What the hell's with him?" Kev asked, motioning with his thumb over his shoulder, pointing toward a very forlorn looking Ian, slumped gracelessly at the bar with his head in his arms, sighing dramatically at regular intervals.

"He's bored." Lip replied with an amused shrug.

"He not tied to Mickey's side today?" Kev questioned back, voice layered with both humour and concern.

"Nah, started his new job today. He was supposed to finish at nine so Ian told him to come here, was gonna buy him a drink to celebrate or something." Lip smiled as he walked toward his disgruntled brother.

"Oh give me a break…" Kev all but yelled, throwing his hands up in question, "Can you two at least pretend I'm trying to run a legal business here, that doesn't involve, ya know, selling booze to my underage neighbours and their new boy toy…" The bartender stopped midsentence and lifted his eyes in thought… "No, ya know what, Mickey's fine, he would pass for legal… Or beat the shit of the guy who questioned him… But did you two at least bring some decent ID to show me?" He looked between the brothers, Lip with his ever present smirk as he shook his head and reached for his wallet, Ian with his 'you really don't wanna mess with me right now snarl'. Lip showed him his fake ID, at which Kev just frowned because not only did it not look like Lip in any way shape or form, apparently he was also Spanish now, and 33. "Besides," he said, turning his attention back to Ian, after deciding to forego the whole ID debacle in favour of a more stress free shift, "It's what? Two minutes past?" he retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm and a smile plastered across his face.

"It's fucking ten past!" Ian protested, shooting his head up from its resting place and glaring between Kev and Lip again.

"Yeah," Lip said softly, trying to appease his brother by raising his arms in surrender before the battle can even begin. "But he still has to actually get here after he finishes…" He flashed his brother an honest smile before shrugging and laughing to himself. "Or he could have fancied a quick fuck with one of his new, greased up, bad boy work mates before coming home to good old Ian Gallagher…" He added with a devilish smirk.

Ian darted from his spot and propelled himself at his shit head brother, Kev threw his hands up in a half assed protest and shouted to the two boys that they were paying for any breakages. He yelled louder when the first glass crashed to the floor, but by the third he just shook his head and took some money out of the till to put in the 'Replacing Gallagher Breakages Fund' jar placed on the bottom shelf under the bar. The jar was almost full, one of many scattered along the shelf, all with different names printed across the front of them, and all people Kev knew better than to expect any payment from. To be fair, 99% of the Gallagher jars debt was, unapologetically, run up by Frank and the other 1% he really wasn't that bothered by, I mean – what's a few glasses compared to the price of replacing the sink faucet that Kev had managed to break in the Gallagher house by getting drunk and trying to prove he was a real man by doing some good old fashioned DIY. Surprisingly the Gallagher damage list wasn't the longest, the Milkovich's tab was almost double it and unsurprisingly the jar it was attached to was empty. Kev hadn't even let the Milkovich's know they had a jar, preferring not to be the thing they next damaged, and he sure as hell wasn't paying off the debts with the bars takings, the business would go bust in a week. He kept telling himself that one day he would ask one of the saner, if there were any, members of the family for any contribution, or that he'd just subtly overcharge them for their drinks, but he knew those days would probably never come. Besides, the latter wouldn't make a difference because the amount of drinks Terry actually got round to paying for was less than Frank.

"Good old dependable… Nice guy… Boy next door… Kinda a pushover… Ian… Gentle giant… Gallagher!" Lip laughed between dodging Ian's attacks, the red-head had him pinned to the floor with his knees on his arms and his hands battling his older brother's wrists to stay still.

"Yeah, thinking about it, you don't really seem like Mickey's type…" Kev drawled out helpfully, much to Lip's amusement and Ian's chagrin. Kev was smiling from ear to ear as he laughed at his own joke.

"Nice guy my ass… Fucker bit me yesterday 'cause I wouldn't take my damn boots off, actually fucking bit me..." Mickey said with a snort and a smile as he walked into the Alibi lighting a cigarette, uncaring about the public location because the bar was pretty dead and the few patrons in there were transfixed on either their booze or the football match on the TV Kev had once again just replaced, Mickey having stolen it then sold it to the older man without so much as a 'friends of the boy he's fucking (loves) discount. "And you think he's gentle?" He questioned, pocketing the lighter and exhaling a puff of smoke, "You haven't seen him…"

"Alright!" Ian shouted as he got up and jogged towards Mickey, taking the cigarette out of his hands and trying to fight the smile that threatened to encapsulate his face just by being in such close proximity to his favourite thug again.

"What?" Mickey laughed, "Was just gonna say how fucking vicious you can be when we're…"

"Mickey!" Ian protested as both Kev and Lip made pleading 'please stop, no more' faces at the Milkovich boy.

"Fighting!" Mickey shouted back with a smirk, "I was gonna say fighting," he elaborated. "I _meant_ Fucking but I was gonna _say_ fighting."

"Asshole," Ian smiled as Mickey snatched the cigarette back and marched toward the bar. "And…" He called after the ex-con matter-of-factly, "Excuse me for not wanting boots digging into my fucking back while we were _fighting_." He said fighting, he meant fucking, but he said fighting.

"We were outside, Firecrotch, why the fuck would I take my shoes off." Mickey snorted back, hushed and private, another quiet moment of light heartedness between the two boys. Ian laughed as he sat next to his Milkovich and watched both Kev and Lip assess the situation to see if it was safe for them to approach again.

"Thank god your back man," Lip announced as he sat down next to Ian, "He's been pining all fucking day, like a little lost puppy."

"Ha," Mickey snorted as Ian jabbed his brother in the ribs.

"I was not fucking pining, I was bored shitless and I'm sorry Lip," He turned his attention to his smug looking brother, "But I couldn't sit and listen to another fucking second of you pining over Karen like she's worth a damn, it's just pathetic man." He shook his head mockingly and could tell by the way that Lip continued to smirk that the older boy wasn't insulted.

Lip just lit up his own cigarette and looked up to Kev expectantly. "So, what can I get ya?" The bartender inquired. "I presume you all have valid IDs to show me?" He shouted slightly louder, making a show of looking around the room as if to highlight to everyone present that he was indeed abiding by the law.

Lip got his back out and handed it over with a smile and a head nod. Ian hadn't brought any ID with him so just handed over his library card, Kev made a show of looking over both cards and pretended to add up dates in his head, then he dramatically nodded and handed the cards back. When he looked at Mickey and the ex-con just returned his gaze and smiled a sarcastic smile, Kev just nodded and laughed slightly uneasily. "That's OK Mr Milkovich, I know how old you are, please put your driving licence away."

Mickey rolled his eyes as Ian shook his head and Lip snorted out an amused chuckle, with that, Kev turned and got the boys each a beer and sat down behind the bar opposite them. "You guys will be the death of me," he said, only half joking.

"Well if it isn't my brother from the same mother!" Mandy hollered as she flounced into the bar and sauntered over to Mickey. She flung her arms around his shoulders as she made a grab for his beer, but Mickey shook her off and slapped her hand away as she moved to sit on the bar stool next to him.

"Ahem," Kev fake coughed, now standing in front of her, "ID?" He questioned when she just looked at him with confusion.

"For a coke?" She remarked and the bartender rolled his eyes before turning to get her drink.

* * *

"You gotta come now!" Debbie yelled as she ran into the Alibi room and hurled herself towards her brothers.

"What's going on Deb's?" Ian asked immediately, smile transforming into a concerned gaze as he noticed his sisters tear reddened eyes.

"She's back again… Monica." Carl said from the bar's front doorway, the usual elation on the boys features now hidden being a sombre frown.

"Frank's at the house trying to talk to her but she's just locked herself in the downstairs bathroom and Fiona can't get either of them to leave." Debbie was frantically tugging on Lip and Ian's jackets, willing them to stop asking questions and just follow her home. With no hesitation both boys stood and followed, Mickey behind them and Mandy behind him.

"Kate, you got this?" Kev asked, motioning to the bar as he put down the glass he was drying and reached for his coat under the bar. After a faint smile and a confident nod from his employee, Kev turned and made for the door.

* * *

"I'm not going anywhere until you get out here and talk to me!" Frank shouted sternly, he was still pounding his fists randomly against the bathroom door and ignoring the frequent wails and cries coming from the woman on the other side of it. "I'm your husband, for better or worse… I gave you everything… I gave you my best years, and all you can do is _leave _me… Time and time again, and here I am just trying to talk to you and what do I get… A god damn door shut in my face…"

Fiona was now sat in the living room with Liam, trying to distract him from Franks latest rant, making faces and mumbling encouragement at her younger siblings attempts at colouring in between the lines of a picture Debbie had sound for him earlier.

"Calm the fuck down Frank, we can hear you from down the street." Lip exclaimed forcefully as he flung open the door to the kitchen and charged into the house. He walked straight passed his father and into the living room, sat down by his sister as she rested her head in her hands and turned her face to look at him. Lip reached up and rested his hand on her shoulder as he smiled comfortingly, then turned to watch Ian enter the living room and sit in the chair next to them.

"What happened?" Ian asked his sister with open, but fed up eyes, the three eldest Gallagher siblings sick and tired of the constant cycle of bullshit that surrounded their parents.

"She just turned up…" Fiona announced, holding her arms in the air and shaking her head in dismay, a tear threatening to fall down her porcelain like cheek. "Frank was here when she walked in, they been in there ever since," she continued, pointing irritably at the scene in the kitchen.

"We came and got you the minute she turned up," Debbie offered from her place next to Carl, both children stood in the doorway between the rooms, looking desperate and uneasy.

"Alright, we'll figure this out." Lip offered gently, smiling at his younger siblings before turning to Fiona and rubbing the spot where his hand still lay on her shoulder.

"I am not going anywhere Monica, so you might as well save us all the hassle and come out of the damn toilet!" Frank shouted again suddenly, making Debbie jump and Carl turn around with a frown. "I'm going to count down from five!"

Lip and Ian both stood and ushered their younger siblings further into the living room, Fiona joining the two boys as they strode toward the kitchen.

"Five!" Frank shouted with a thump to the door.

The eldest Gallagher's made their way through the arched doorway and took position by the island counter in the middle of the kitchen.

"Four…" Frank persisted.

Ian shook his head and rolled his eyes, bringing a hand down his face as Lip leaned his elbows on the counter top and rested his head in his hands, eyes filled with disdain as he looked toward the scene in front of him. Fiona stood behind her brothers and crossed her arms over her chest, gearing herself up for another battle to get rid of her unwanted house guests.

"Three!" Frank yelled louder than before, fists clenched angrily at his sides.

"What the fuck you gonna do when you get to one Frank?" Mickey asked scornfully as he swung the door open and entered the kitchen. "Look," he said, turning to Ian, "I know you said wait outside but this shit is ridiculous." He explained, motioning with his hands toward the oldest man in the room and the door he was talking to. "Hey Frank, why don't you do us all a favour and shut the fuck up for a second?"

Frank quickly turned to watch the young Milkovich, obviously trying to figure out if he was in danger, when Mickey didn't move any closer to him Frank just snorted and returned his glare to the wooden door of the bathroom.

"This is between me and my wife!" He yelled with less force than he intended, not looking back to see how Mickey would react.

"Yeah and the rest of the god damn neighbourhood. Giving me a fucking head ache old man." Mickey dead panned, flicking his eyes between the train wreck in front of him and his kids littered between the kitchen and living room, all staring wide eyed and pleading.

"This has nothing to do with you Mickey… Now I'm asking nicely… So would you mind awfully, just backing off while I try talk some sense into the woman to whom I am married?" Frank only briefly turned to face Mickey as he gestured with his hand toward the door, then he turned back around and refocused his efforts on talking to the woman who was trying so hard to block him out.

"Jesus Frank, she doesn't wanna fucking talk to you so just leave and let us figure out why the hell she's back at all." Ian sighed out I frustration, straightening his posture as he spoke, subconsciously maybe, to try and intimidate the man in front of him to avoid another drawn out confrontation.

Frank growled with menace as he spun on his foot and turned to face the bastard child of the woman he loved, he eyed the young man carefully and sneered before moving forward. Anger spilling out of him as he forgot just how strong Ian was now and just remembered the boy who encapsulated, to him, when his wife got bored and started screwing around. The boy who was now trying to stand between him and said wife talking this shit through.

Frank hadn't even made it two steps towards the red head before Mickey had him in an arm-lock, pushed up against the kitchen table with pain shooting down his spine and his mind struggling to keep up.

"Here's what you're gonna do," Mickey snarled ferociously into the older man's ear, "When I let go, you're gonna stand the fuck up, straighten yourself out, turn the hell around and walk straight out of the god damn door. You got that Frank?"

When the Gallagher patriarch didn't respond with words, just tried to struggle out of Mickey's grip, the ex-con pushed harder against him and continued. "Cause if you don't then I'm gonna do something I've been itching to do for… Fuck… The whole time I've fucking known you." Frank squirmed again, eyes pleading with his children for help, but no one moved to pull Mickey off so he just growled again and continued. "See, Gallagher over there," he said, lifting Franks head so he was once again looking at his kids, "That's Ian to you, Firecrotch to me," he smirked. "Well once upon a time he begged me not to hurt you, fucking made me promise not to do anything stupid like kick your ass into next week and get mine thrown back in juvie." He actuated the statement with a sharp tug on the man's trapped arm, eliciting a pained hiss from him as he did so.

"Well I figure that promise is void now, what with what happened the last time you two were in a fucking room together," Mickey smiled as he felt Frank flinch at the memory of Ian overpowering him in every way. "So you give me one fucking excuse, one god damn reason no matter how small and I promise I will break you into pieces so fucking small that not even god himself could put you back together… You understand me?" He asked sinisterly, pausing between statements to give Frank a chance to take in the honesty of the threat.

Frank nodded frantically and when Mickey shoved himself away from the older man and released his vice like grip on his arm, the Gallagher patriarch wisely decided to forego his rant about kids and respect and instead turned to stare at the still closed bathroom door, willing it to open one last time before glaring at his family and storming out of the house with promises of his imminent return.

"Thank you." It wasn't the words that surprised Mickey, he knew Fiona was trying to make an effort, to show Ian that she could bend if it meant he would stay. It wasn't the fact that she was thanking him for using violence on her father, with 'her' kids in the next room, Mickey was surprised because she meant every damn word. She meant it when she said thank you and for the first time since he marched in there Fiona let out a breath and relaxed, as if finally seeing an end to their current situation. "So what do we do about her?" She asked as she exhaled again, turning to look between Ian and Lip.

"Want me to break down the door?" Mickey asked lightly, only half joking.

"Ha, no, thanks but we're good." Fiona laughed out, no malice or spite. Tone light and sarcastic, almost friendly as she once again found the ability to smile a genuine smile.

Of course Carl bounded into the room at the mention of destruction and the panic almost immediately returned to Fiona's face when she saw Debbie following with wide and panicked eyes. Before she could move, or speak to calm her sibling down though, Mickey stepped forward and flicked Carl on the forehead. Carl frowned at the contact but smiled up at Mickey, a smile that was almost mirrored by a temporarily distracted Debbie.

"What I tell you 'bout breaking shit in the house?" Mickey snapped, with no anger and no hostility.

"Ummm, if it's fun… It must be done?" Carl laughed at his own joke but Mickey just snorted and flicked him again, looking straight into the younger boys eyes. Debbie smiled a slightly bigger smile this time. "Ouch," the young Gallagher yelped, "OK, OK… Not unless Fiona says so… Only if it's mine… OR if it's already broken beyond repair?" He asked with a thoughtful pause between each statement, expectant eyes looking up to Mickey for confirmation.

All the Milkovich boy did was smirk and nod at the youngster but no one in the room could miss the way Carl's eyes lit up as he threw his fist in the air to a scream of 'yes'. Carl jumped and turned on the spot, now facing Fiona with a cocky, wide and self-satisfied grin. Fiona smiled back at her younger brother, whilst Lip smirked toward Fi and Ian beamed brightly and whole heartedly into the eyes of the man he loved. Monica all but forgotten by every Gallagher in the room at that moment, even Debbie.

"The shit under the EL though," Mickey all but shouted with a clap of his hands, that once again made Lip jump out of his skin and turn to face the ex-con with startled eyes, "That stuff's free game so come the fuck on cause I don't got all day." With that Mickey turned and gestured to the back door of the house and started walking towards it. However, Carl bolted passed him at the prospect of causing some destruction with Mickey, and was already out of the door when the ex-con turned around to look at the youngest Gallagher girl. "You coming freckles?"

Debbie smiled her first real smile as she shoved her feet into a pair of shoes she didn't even bother to check were her own, then she was on her feet and out the door as fast as Carl. Mickey turned to Ian and red-head gave him his best grateful expression before smirking and blowing a kiss. Mickey rolled his eyes and turned to join the two Gallagher kids outside with his sister, who was probably waiting not very patiently since Mickey stormed into the house and left her alone while Kev went to find Vee.

"Thank you Mickey," Fiona offered sincerely, "Seriously."

"Wow, two thank yous in a row, gotta be careful there Boss Lady… Else I'm gonna start thinking you don't despise my ass." Mickey retorted with a smirk.

Apparently the response was just what everyone else in the room was expecting as all it elicited from the Gallagher's still in front of him were three sets of eye rolls, Lip's ever present smirk, Ian's famous grin that manages to be both cheeky and prideful all at once, and probably most surprisingly, a warm smile from Fiona directed straight at the Milkovich thug before her. And with one last look to Ian and a quick "You gonna be OK with Momma bitch in the bathroom, or you gonna need me to step in and fucking save you again?" (The bravado failing to mask the genuine concern behind the words) To which Ian just smiled, a smile Mickey loved being able to draw from the boy he loved, and nodded, Mickey nodded his head as well and turned to leave the oldest Gallagher's to it. Thinking as he shut the door and looked to the two kids waiting at the bottom of the steps expectantly, 'how the fuck did I become the babysitter?' Kicking himself further when he almost let himself think about going back in to ask if they wanted him to take Liam out of the way as well.


	13. Chapter 13

**So sorry it took so long to update, hopefully I've finally hit a writing rhythm that will last and I'll be better from now on!**

"So whats the deal in there?" Kev asked as he approached the Gallagher house with a concerned Vee by his side.

"Frank's fucked off finally, their mums locked in the bathroom, hiding from whoever the fuck she doesn't wanna talk to now and I'm taking freckles and little sergeant destruction over there to vent some anger under the El." Mickey replied as he descended the steps. "Have fun..." He added as he ushered the two kids and his questioning sister away down the street.

"So Monica's back and the whole things turned to shit again?" Veronica scorned, walking behind her husband and exhaling the first of many fed up breaths that she knew the day would bring.

"Yeah, so much for Frank turning over a new leaf after escaping from hospital." Her husband replied as he climbed the steps to the back door.

"You're too old to believe in miracles babe."

* * *

"I'm not coming out till you all promise not to shout at me!" Monica yelled from behind the bathroom door, desperation hanging off her every word.

"No one's gonna shout shit, we just wanna know why you're here." Lip retorted, painfully disdainful and yet surprising indifferent to his mother's apparent suffering.

The three oldest Gallagher siblings heard Monica shuffle and reach toward the handle when the front door gently opened and Kev popped his head inside. Vee mirrored her husband as she stood behind him and glanced around the room for Fiona, offering her a comforting smile when she finally met her eyes. With the noise of the door shutting behind them, Monica threw herself back onto the toilet seat and shoved her head into her hands.

"Who's there?" She yelled between forced sobs.

"Oh for gods sake! It's just Kev and Vee, Franks not coming back any time soon!" Fiona shouted through gritted teeth.

Kev and Vee sat down at the kitchen table as Fiona moved to join them, Lip and Ian stayed behind the kitchen counter, leaning onto it with tired arms. The five of them all seemed to give up on Monica ever leaving the bathroom, they exhaled together and then each of them offered around a few lackluster smiles before Fiona pipped up again.

"This is ridiculous." She scorned after a few minutes of strained silence. "Oh," she jumped in her seat at the memory of something and spun to face her best friend. "How did the meeting go?"

"_Ridiculous_," Vee scoffed, slumped in her seat and shook her head. "They won't lower my contracted hours, won't give me any time off with pay, hell they won't even give me the sick days I'm due. Just kept sayin' if I miss a single shift then I shouldn't bother to show up again." Kev rubbed a warming circle around his wife's shoulders and Fiona offered her best reassuring grin.

"It fucking sucks." Kev groaned when silence once again threatened to encapsulate the room. "Cause she ain't technically the biological mother," Kev said carefully, noticing his wife's shudder at the mention of her inability to conceive herself. "They won't give her maternity leave and without time off either I gotta leave the bar with people I really do not trust to run it full time OR Vee's mums gotta babysit..."

"And I really don't want her to have any more input than she's already had!" Veronica interrupted with a heated declaration that Fiona understood even without Vee explaining. She knew her friend was jealous of her mother, she knew that Vee didn't fully trust her anymore and she knew that she herself wouldn't want to give the woman any more control over the situation then she already has by carrying the child that is supposed to be the biggest joy of Kev and Veronica's lives.

"You could always leave the kid with us, we have Liam anyway." She offered honestly.

"You got a full time job now Fi, kids are all in school, you're gonna have your own problems finding a place for Liam to stay that doesn't cost a fortune in child care."

"Sheila loves looking after Liam, I'm sure she'll be happy to watch your baby too, specially now Karen's kid is gone." Ian offered, finally looking up from the counter top with an expression other than annoyance etched across his face.

"Besides, Debs goes round there to help before and after school, so she won't be doing it alone. I think it's good for them, Deb loves Sheila, Sheila adores Deb and they both love kids." Fiona said with a confident and assuring smile.

Vee looked to her husband, who continued his steady movements around her back and smiled as warmly as he could into her, now slightly more hopeful eyes. "It's worth a shot, I mean we could at least ask right?" He asked gently.

"No harm in that." She responded with a positive smile.

"I could watch the baby..." Came a quiet voice from behind the, now opening, bathroom door. "I mean, no need to bother Sheila, I'm family right, I could watch the kids, Liam too," She added, turning her attention to Fiona with a hopeful smile of her own.

"Are you kidding me..." Fiona blared as she turned to face her mother.

"So you're planning on sticking around then?" Ian interrupted calmly, disbelievingly.

"Of course, you're my family." The once Gallagher matriarch announced proudly.

"Have been for years, hasn't stopped you leaving before." Lip proclaimed defiantly and without remorse, "Ever." He added with a grimace.

Monica looked between her four children, Liam was stumbling in from the living room and waving his arms up at Lip, not even glancing towards his mother as he searched for the closest person he trusted to pick him up. And Lip did so, proudly holding onto his baby brother as Monica tried to hide her hurt at not being recognised by her youngest child.

"I know I've got a lot to make up for, but I've done some stuff right." Monica proclaimed to a stunned kitchen. "I helped you Ian, when your friend was in juvie...?"

"You took me to a gay bar?" He responded incredulously, the 'so what?' implied but not spoken.

"I helped, I talked it through with you?" She pleaded back.

"You slit your wrists on thanksgiving, for all of your children to see!" Lip shouted back, he could see the exasperation in his brothers eyes.

Ian and Fiona flinched at the memory but they both kept themselves together and stared their mother down.

"I needed help..." She offered back weakly, but honestly never the less.

"Yeah," Fiona scoffed, "And you still do, and you always will do... But this family isn't responsible for helping you if you cant help yourself, or for putting you back together so you can rip us apart."

"I let you keep Liam!" Monica protested with all of her energy, glaring down her eldest daughter and growing more angry by the second.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Fiona screamed back. "That make you mother of the year does it?" She scoffed.

"I did the right thing, that counts for something."

"You did the wrong thing by threatening to take him in the first place." Lip said matter of factly, clutching the obliviously churpy toddler tightly in his arms. "Just so you and you big black girlfriend could play fucking house."

"I tried... Last time, I really tried..." The blond headed woman pleaded, "I took my meds and I tried to make it work, but you guys don't make it easy, you wouldn't even talk to me!" She shouted, pointing wildly at Lip as she willed tears to fill her eyes.

"So this is my fault now?" Lip returned menacingly.

"You could have tried! I tried!" She yelled again, nodding her head and cradling her chest as she turned from Fiona to her three sons and back again.

"It wasn't up to him to try!" Ian shouted, stepping around the counter and defending his brother with all of his might. "It was up to you prove you were different, to fight for us for once in your life but you didn't! You gave up... AGAIN! Like you always do! And you didn't think about us, about Debbie or Carl, who are still naive enough to think you actually give a shit about them..."

"I do..." His mother interjected, raising her hand to his face, trying to brush the anger away. But Ian just batted her hand away and carried on.

"You don't give a shit about us, you just care about yourself. About getting a quick fix to whatever the hell is wrong with you! You don't even look back when you walk away, and then you come back here each time and expect to be welcomed with open fucking arms!" The red head scoffed out a laugh as he considered leaving, going to find Mickey, the one person who could always make him feel better just by the fact that he was there. That he hadn't given up on Ian, that Ian meant more to him than anything and that he had fought so hard to be with him because to Mickey... Ian was worth it. But then the red head looked around at Fiona and Lip and little baby Liam and he didn't walk away. He couldn't be like Monica, if Mickey were in this situation he wouldn't walk away. Ian stayed with his family, who needed his support, his back up. He stayed with his sister who had giving up her childhood for him, for all of them. He stayed with his brother who he knew would gladly give up his life for him too. And he stayed for his baby sibling, who they were all determined would grow up without all the mess and struggle, his infant brother who they were all going to fight to protect.

"You wanna do the right thing... _Mum_?" Fiona said with a disgusted sarcasm that made Monica visibly flinch. "Stay the hell away... I can't make you leave the South Side but I can make you leave this house!" With that Fiona stood and marched to the door, turning as she opened it and gestured for her mother to leave.

"You're chucking me out?" Monica asked incredulously.

"I'm doing whats best for these kids, they need stability, strength and good guidance. They ain't getting that from you and they won't be getting it from me if I keep letting you gatecrash their lives only to abandon them again when it suits you."

"You're not serious...?" Monica urged, crying more forcefully now the reality of Fiona's determination was sinking in.

"She is." Lip affirmed as he handed Liam to Ian and moved to stand next to Fiona. Lip wanted to show his sister that the hard decisions were not only on her, that he had her back and she was most certainly doing the right thing, with a small smile and a quick head nod Fiona showed her eldest brother that she not only understood his gesture but that she also appreciated it.

Monica looked to Ian for support, but the red head just shrugged, shook his head then turned and took Liam back into the living room to continue colouring in whatever it was he wasn't supposed to be colouring in. Lip followed shortly after, with Fiona, Kev and Vee leaving Monica to stand in the kitchen with crocodile tears turning real as she finally realised that this time wasn't like the last. The Gallagher matriarch looked toward the living room just once before closing her eyes and tilting back her head, with a sharp inhale she turned and headed out into the cold South Side air without stopping to close the door behind her.

* * *

"Is she back for good this time?" Carl asked, far too innocently for a boy who's grown up in the life of a Gallagher in the South Side of Chicago.

"Hey kid, less questions... More breaking shit." Mickey responded instantly, having no clue how to breach the subject of the Gallagher's absent parent.

"She'll leave again when she gets bored with us." Debbie said quietly, a dejected tone that even an emotionally stunted Milkovich couldn't pretend to have not noticed.

"Listen kid, best thing my mum ever did was up and leave, some people you just don't need hanging around." The dark haired boy offered as Carl once again stopped bashing bricks against an old bike to turn and look to his mentor of sorts.

"I thought your mum was dead?" Debbie asked, her melancholy mood not easing up enough to feign actual interest.

Debbie was sat on top of a rubble pile, next to the bike that Carl has been trying to cripple beyond recognition since the trio arrived, having sent Mandy off to buy snacks and drinks for what could be a long day of avoiding the Gallagher house. Mickey was pacing the area in front of the kids, hands alternating between being shoved into his pockets and half heartedly scratching at any part of bare skin on his body, despite said areas having no semblance of an itch.

"Still her choice," was all he said in response, shrugging off Debbie's sudden concern because really, he was fine with it.

When both Gallagher children just stared at Mickey, seemingly hoping for him to expand, to explain how they could possibly be better off without the woman who birthed them, who they were supposed to love unconditionally, who was supposed to love them.

"Christ... OK look," Mickey said with a sharp inhale and a brief nod to the sky. He scratched the skin on the back of his neck before bending down and picking up a piece of twine off of the floor. No way was he broaching this subject without something to fiddle with as some sort of distraction from the fact that once again he was fagging out and offering up a part of himself that he had promised would be locked away from public view forever.

"I told my mum about me," he offered reluctantly. Carl looked between Debbie, who seemed to understand what Mickey had said immediately, and Mickey himself, but before the he could ask what he meant the older boy was already moving on. "I was like 13 when I figured it out, probably younger. Hell I was like 11 when I realised my dad would hate me for what I am so I guess that's when I figured it out, but I was 13 when it really started to freak me out. Before then it didn't fucking matter because I just figured I'd never do anything about it ya know..." Mickey got temporarily lost in his thoughts as Carl looked more and more confused, he looked to his sister who rolled her eyes and mouthed the word gay with an expression that screamed 'duh'. Realisation hit the young Gallagher and he returned his gaze to Mickey as the Milkovich boy continued.

"Anyway, so I was 13 when it started to get harder to fucking ignore it and I fucking freaked the hell out because what I am ain't something I'm supposed to be and I knew my dad would fucking kill me when he found out. My mum was kinda like Monica, in and out, there one minute gone the next. Half the time Mandy didn't even know who she was, just thought she was another of dad's skanks. But I figured, ya know parent and all that shit, she'd care, or at least she'd know what to do. So I told her I had a problem and she got all fucking touchy feely saying stuff like she'd help, she'd fix it, it's what parents do, all that bullshit."

Mickey scrunched his eyes and rubbed at them with the palms of his hands, he clenched his lips and dropped to the floor, stretching one leg out and bending the other one at the knee to rest his arm on. "So I just came out with it, told her I was a fag, that I fucking knew it was wrong and it was disgusting and I didn't wanna be and I'd do anything to be god damn normal but I didn't know what to do." Mickey exhaled as he remembered that blank expression on his mothers face for the first few seconds, after what was the most difficult admission he'd ever had to make. "She just fucking looked at me, stared like I was some freak, some shit on the bottom of her shoe." The quiet before the storm, he remembered scornfully. "Then she told me that if I ever said the words out loud again she'd tell Terry and then she'd watch him tear me apart for it."

Debbie slammed her hand over her mouth in shock, Carl's eyes widened and Mickey scoffed a laugh. "I asked my mother for help and the bitch told me I was dead to her, she only had four sons and I should forget we had that conversation cause god knows she wished she could."

Debbie wanted to cry for Mickey, she wanted to take back his family's disgust and replace with the Gallagher warmth, she wandered how different a person he'd be if she could. Then she remembered the person he was and the love he'd both given to and drawn from her brother, the warmth he's shown to her and Carl and Liam. Then she remembered what Mickey meant to her and her two younger siblings, how much they cared for him, whether he wanted them to or not. In that moment she realised that she didn't need to change his past because Mickey grew up OK.

"See she wasn't my mum... Sure the bitch gave birth to me, her names on my god damn birth certificate but that's just a piece of fucking paper. Better off without her. I don't know much about your mum and maybe she's not so bad when she's around, but every time she leaves you to crawl back down whatever fucking rabbit hole she sprang out of... Well just... No mum does that shit... Fiona sticks around, she takes care of you and she's into all that unconditional love bullshit. So just remember that when Monica turns up here..." Mickey looked deep into the eyes of the children sat in front of him. "She needs you a hell of a lot more than you need her, and when she leaves again," because Mickey wasn't about to lie to the Gallagher siblings and tell them it would be different this time because it's never different with people like that and unfortunately it was a lesson they would both learn. "Well you won't be missing anything cause you already got a mum, kinda, well something better actually because your sister chooses to do what she does, she coulda left, got the fuck on with her own life... But she chose to stay, Monica chose to leave... You guys get to choose which is more fucking important." Mickey huffed out the last two sentences without stopping to take a breath. He wanted this conversation over. He wanted to feel less vulnerable and open. He wanted to smash shit.

The dark haired boy jumped to his feet and picked up Carl's discarded brick and hurled it at the rapidly dismantling bike beneath him with all of his might. Without glancing around to see the reactions of the two Gallaghers beside him, Mickey picked up another brick and hurled it even harder. Carl moved to stand next to his friend, he picked up a slightly smaller brick and followed as Mickey threw his own back down a third time. Then Debbie jumped down from her perch and copied the two boys, she picked up her own brick and the three of them soon descended to anarchy as they laughed and forgot. As they pummeled the bike with stones and bricks, their feet and their hands flying around without a care for what was going on back home.

Except, unbeknownst to them, the situation at home was already resolved, and when Debbie turned around to reclaim her current weapon that had bounced rather impressively off of the side of bikes frame, she noticed three figures stood not too far from them. Three figures that were transfixed on the scene before them, three figures that she couldn't help worrying may have overheard Mickey's confession, if the intense expressions they were all wearing were anything to go by.

"Monica's gone!" Was all Ian managed to say to his little sister before he hurled himself forward and grabbed a hold of Mickey's hand, dragging the stunned Milkovich away from any and all witnesses as he threw his hands into the older boys hair and forced their lips together in a hungry and desperate kiss, complete with shortness of breath and excess emotion. Naturally Mickey kissed back instantly, surprised or not he wasn't one to object to the kind of outcome this action would inevitably lead to.


	14. Chapter 14

Mickey inhaled deeply, catching his breath and closing his eyes. He turned to watch his Gallagher, stood beside him, putting on his jacket with a smile that tried to hide the worry behind it. The Milkovich rolled his eyes at the thought of actually falling for possibly the most emotional person he's ever been with, opposites attract and all that crap. Mickey shook himself out of his head, remembering that this was his life now, that he couldn't bottle shit up or ignore it now, that him and Ian shared. He had to keep giving because he couldn't live with out this thing between them, this relationship. Another inhale...

"How much d'ya hear?" He asked calmly, leaning against a wall and lighting a cigarette.

"Mick, I'm so sorr..."

"Fuck you apologising for Gallagher?" The honesty behind Ian's eyes as he spoke shook the Milkovich thug, he hadn't expected that, he had expected a lecture on holding back, why he hadn't told him, or maybe no lecture but a serious are you OK moment followed by another round of proof sex.

"I shouldn't have pushed..." Ian slid down the wall and put his arms on his knees, dragging his hands down his face as he fought back the guilt he knew Mickey didn't need to see. Except Mickey could read him like an open book anyway and the older boy was far passed running at the first sign of emotion, no, Ian got to show him everything now and Mickey never ran, so the red head continued. "I'm so sorry I put so much pressure on you to... I dunno... Make this," he mumbled, waving between them as Mickey stood bemused above him. "To make us a thing. I doubted you, doubted your strength. Mick I thought you were a fucking coward when I found out you were getting married and I... Hated you for it."

Mickey could see the need for Ian to finish his thoughts so he kept his mouth shut, he held in the words biting at his tongue, that it wasn't Ian's fault, that he had been a fucking coward for almost letting his dad win, that he would never be that stupid again.

"I thought we had it the same, thought we were in the same boat," the red head almost sobbed. "When your dad walked in on us, beat me, battered you, I thought that had happened to us! That it was the same. When I found you on the roof and you wouldn't speak to me, I was so angry at you for running away from it, from me... And then when Mandy told me about you getting married I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, you tried to get me to back off but I kept pushing. Trying to make you say something out loud that I never had to, that I'd never said to you. I knew you couldn't say it, knew you would never be able to say it but I kept pushing because I wanted you to push back."

Tears were rolling down Ian's cheeks now, single droplets from each eye, because he didn't have to hold back anymore, and he never wanted to again. The younger boy looked up and into the eyes of his lover.

"Because I wanted to hate you, I wanted you to push me away because I thought I'd lost you again and I didn't know what to do to stay close so I wanted you to make me hate you. And you did, I pushed you too far and you hit back and I still couldn't hate you because I could see it in your eyes that you were just as broken as me."

Mickey lowered himself down next to his Gallagher and looked down to the floor, he didn't need to confirm how broken he was when he lashed out at Ian that day, he hated himself for every hit, for every silence and for every step he took to walk away.

"But I was wrong, I was so wrong Mick. That didn't happen to us. Your dad. That fucking Russian. That happened to you. That was your family, your shit and I should have helped, I should have been patient and waited, not fucking taunted you for being weak when all I've ever had to deal with from my family is Frank's indifference. When they all found out about me I got nothing but support. You? You got hell and I should have..."

"What?" Mickey said firmly, "Should have what? Wrapped me in a fucking blanket and made it all better?" Ian looked back at Mickey and the older boy looked the picture of strength as he raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. "You think I wanted your help? I wanted fuck all from you Gallagher, cause truth is I blamed you. For the first time in forever I had to deal with all that emotional shit and it was completely your god damn fault."

Ian silently nodded his head as Mickey shook his, for a smart kid the red head could be quite dense sometimes.

"But I never hated you," The black haired boy continued. "Never could hate you, wanted you too god damn much, knew then that nothing you did would change it. Bang old geriatrics, call me out on my bullshit, piss me off with your constant fucking talking, keep pushing for more even when I needed to want less," Mickey listed casually, with a sly smirk on his face that dropped the instant he uttered the next words. "You could have left and..."

Ian shot his head round and his eyes open, to stare into the beautiful blue orbs of his lover. Mickey took a deep breath before carrying on.

"Gallagher, you coulda done any of that stuff, hell did do most of it, you could have pushed until I was god damn ready to kill someone and it wouldn't have changed anything!" He stated matter of factly, turning his face to the floor.

"Just cause I could have done those things doesn't mean I should have Mickey. God Damn It!" Ian growled in frustration and threw himself to his feet. "How come you never fucking doubted me? How could you want me through all of that and yet I couldn't just accept who you were. Why did I have to push for more, huh? How could I have ever doubted you? And how the _fuck_ are you OK with it?"

Ian was fuming with himself, and silence filled the small alley in which they had hidden themselves from the world. Mickey looked up as Ian paced back and forth, studying the features of the man he couldn't even begin to live without.

"How come you asked me to stay that day in the store?" Mickey said calmly as he slowly rose to his feet, eyeing Ian as he stood. A deadly serious expression on his face.

Ian knew what day he meant, knew instantly despite there being so many days they spent in that store. The day Mickey meant though, that was Ian's favourite, because although it started with Terry and a beating, it ended with Mickey and a new chance. "Cause I wanted to be near you, to have you close."

"After everything you'd been through cause of me?" Mickey shot back without a moments pause.

Frustrated by Mickey's seemingly deliberate missing of the point, Ian growled again and tensed his shoulders. "But it wasn't cause of you!" He snarled through gritted teeth.

"You thought it was as at the time!" Mickey countered, again immediately.

With this Ian relaxed, because he was right, Ian had just admitted it, he did blame him... At the the time... And yet, "It didn't change anything Mick, I still wanted you, still needed you." He said with total honesty.

"And what the fuck did you think would happen when you asked me to stay?" Mickey held himself back, kept calm and looked deep into Ian's confused eyes.

"I though if you stayed we'd be OK somehow," Ian answered almost timidly, because he was confused, didn't know where this was going, didn't know if he liked it. But he had to be honest. "At least we'd be together right," he added sarcastically, trying to bring some brevity into a conversation that had spiraled out of his control.

"You think I'd stay?" Was all the Milkovich responded with, sharp and straight to the point.

Ian faltered, he knew that there was a right answer to this question but he didn't know if the honest answer was the right one.

"I hoped." He conceded, hoping above hope that would be enough.

"Not asking what you hoped Gallagher, I'm asking what you thought!" The Milkovich boy was not angry, his tone was still calm and serious, but it had taken a new turn, like he was goading the younger boy.

Ian bit his lip with a tear threatening to fall, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and very exposed, but Mickey had been honest with him and so he owed him the same privilege. "Yes..." He muttered quietly, shrugging his shoulders and looking to the sky. "I did..." He continued, wanting to expand but not knowing how, because he didn't want Mickey to think he presumed he was what determined the older boys actions. "Cause I knew what you felt with me, knew you couldn't fake that." He hurried to explain, he thought Mickey would stay because he knew that this thing between them, even then, was just as real for Mickey as it was for Ian.

"And what d'you think would happen next?" Was Mickey's reply, still goading, still digging for something.

Ian let out another growl of irritation, "Fuck I dunno, Mick... That we'd go on fucking picnics and get a dog with a sweater!"

He was getting angry and the black haired boy could see it, so he just raised his eyebrows and smirked, an 'oh yeah?' not spoken but written all over Mickey's features. But the Milkovich didn't say a word, just stayed silent and stared at the red head in front of him until Ian had calmed down and turned back to face him.

"I dunno," the young Gallagher offered, "That we'd be OK cause we'd at least be broken together!"

"That it?" Mickey asked, pushing just a little bit more.

"That maybe we'd be able to fix each other." Mickey smiled quickly at that, like he'd just won an argument that Ian didn't know they were having.

"How d'you think it would end?" The ex con asked softly, well as soft as Mickey was capable of.

"I didn't..." Ian said automatically, without missing a beat. He knew then what he knows now, this thing between them won't end because it is too real and too raw to let go of, they both need it like a lifeline and they will both fight to the death for it.

"Just one more question, Firecrotch?" Mickey smirked triumphantly, "When exactly did you give up on me?"

"What?" Was all the red head could manage. "I..." And then he realised what Mickey seemed to know all along, and he smiled a smile so blinding that Mickey couldn't look away. Ian smiled, and laughed, and shook his head, calling Mickey an asshole when the smug look on his face didn't disappear. Because everything Ian had done since the day they first slept together was about Mickey, was for Mickey. Even when they were at there furthest apart, in distance or emotion, it was all still about Mickey because even then Ian saw Mickey as his future. In one way or another Mickey was in all of Ian's dreams and hopes and prophecies for his life. And even when their future looked its bleakest Ian didn't doubt for a second that they'd wind up crossing the same old boundaries, making new ones and breaking them down too because he knew he loved Mickey and he knew Mickey loved him and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that what they had wasn't something either would ever truly be able to walk away from.

"Done moping now?" Mickey said while Ian was still coming down from his epiphany induced high.

Ian shook his head though, because there was still a failure Mickey hadn't addressed. "How is it that you can see everything about me but I miss so much about you, until you fucking spell it out."

"Well that's easy..." Mickey shrugged, "I'm fucking badass, you...? ah, not so much!" the Milkovich boy laughed as Ian shoved him into the wall.

"I should have seen how strong you were, how strong you'd had to be... From the beginning, I should have known." Ian drawled out, trying not to to squash Mickey's good mood, but trying to convey how sorry he was at the same time.

"Shut the fuck up Gallagher." Was his reply. "You didn't know cause I didn't fucking tell you, simple as."

"You told Debs and Carl?" It was a question and not a statement, Mickey knew that before Ian even finished the sentence.

"They needed to hear it!"

"It was about them and not you, so that makes it OK to share?" Another question, but one Mickey was sure Ian already knew the answer too. "Thank you," Ian added, instead of prying into the mental workings of an emotionally stunted Milkovich, "Seriously, what you said... It was good for them."

"Yeah well like I said, I'm badass!" There was no hidden pain behind Mickey's words, no disappointment or hurt, no running or wishing for quiet.

"Mick, what your mum did... How she reacted..."

"OK stop right there Firecrotch," Mickey all but shouted, pushing Ian's hand away before the younger boy could offer him comfort for the wrong reasons.

"Mick..." the red head tried to interrupt.

"I mean it Gallagher, it doesn't matter!"

"How can it not matter, she was your mum?" Ian tried again to raise his hand to Mickey's shoulder but the ex con shrugged it off.

"Only on fucking paper..." When Ian looked like he was going to retort Mickey raised a placating hand and continued. "Look, Gallagher, I needed to tell someone and it just so happened to be her, she wasn't a mother, wasn't my mum, not really. But that's what you do right, talk to family about shit you can't tell anyone else. Well I sure as fuck wasn't gonna tell my dad or brothers and Mandy was too, well Mandy..." The Milkovich boy smiled at the thought of his sister going nuts if he told her, becoming some gay rights activist and blowing everything out of proportion, albeit with the best of intentions. "If that piece of paper had said anyone else's name then I woulda gone to them. But it didn't so I went to her, she said what she said and I dealt with it... Eventually." He added with a sarcastic, but genuine, smile.

"Your family sucks." Ian blurted out, only half intending to say it, but Mickey just smiled and nodded, which earned him a reciprocatory smirk from Ian, who shook his head and shoulder bumped his lover. Mentally shelving that conversation for another day, Ian was happy to move on for now.

"Was that your brother and my sister?" Mickey asked suddenly, almost exasperated at the thought of others having heard his confession.

"Yup, me and Lip were coming to find you guys to say it was safe to come home, bumped into Mandy walking back with a picnic..." Ian said mockingly, which earned him a shove back into the wall, and a scoff of 'fucking picnic my ass' from Mickey. "When we got to where you were you were just beginning your little speech," no less mockery in his tone but there was something beneath it now, pride, respect, a knowing sort of admiration that had Mickey want to... well, hurl, really. Seeing this just made Ian more happy with himself of course.

"Your sister's gonna pissed you didn't tell her." Ian added with his signature shit eating grin.

"Yeah and your fucking brother knows way too much about me," Mickey responded, lighting up a new cigarette, the previous one having been forgotten about after one drag amidst the deep and meaningful conversation which Mickey may well choose to deny having had, just to wind up the red head he had it with. "Your whole damn family does!"

Ian just smiled and took the cigarette from Mickey's, far from argumentative, hands. "Lip won't say anything to anyone else, he's not that stupid, Debbie likes you too much to spread gossip about you and Carl wouldn't dream of breaking your trust, way too loyal to his Master and Commander." The red head laughed and rolled his eyes at Carl's infatuation with all things Mickey, before remembering he wasn't really one to talk. "Yeah, yeah, OK." He conceded when a glance sideways told him Mickey was thinking the same thing.

"So what happened with Monica?" Mickey asked as the two of them turned and started walking back to the El to confront Mickey's, probably pacing and very angry, very strong, not so little anymore, sister.

* * *

"So Mickey's babysitting?" Vee commented while sat at the counter of the Gallagher kitchen, watching Fiona search through the cupboards for something to make for dinner.

"Yeah," she snorted disbelievingly, "Who'd have thought it.

"What d'ya bribe him with?" Kev asked from his seat at the kitchen table, fiddling with toaster that's probably getting more broken by the minute.

"Oh let me guess, Ian withheld sex?" Vee asked with a big smile on her face, Kev winced and faked a gagging reflex and Fiona just scoffed and shook her head.

"I don't ever wanna know the sex lives of my brothers, s'far as I'm concerned they don't have them, never will. Neither will Deb's, Carl or Liam... Got that?" She responded, pointing between her giggling neighbours.

"Oh come on Fi, you're not that much of a prude," Veronica taunted back, "And I'm taking that as a yes by the way."

"Actually," Fiona announced, stopping her search and inhaling a breath as she turned to face her best friends. "He just took em, didn't even cross my mind. Carl came bounding in here when Mickey suggested breaking down the toilet door, then Mickey made him recite these rule's..." The oldest Gallagher sibling explained.

"Rules? Like only attack the doors hinges?" Kev remarked, laughing at his own joke when everybody else failed to do so.

"No, rules about when it was OK to break stuff in the house?" Fi Clarified to a shocked kitchen. "Yeah," she huffed out, acknowledging and understanding their surprise. "Shit like, only if its already broken, only if its his, only if I say so." She finished, pointing to herself to clarify that the 'I' meant her and not Mickey.

"Seriously?" Vee questioned, looking to Kev to back her up in her inability to comprehend the notion.

"Yep, then he offered to take him and Debs out to break shit that's free game," she said with a smile at the memory of Carl's eagerness to spend the day with Mickey. She put her hands on the counter and leaned forward, looking to the ceiling as she continued to smile in the memory of seeing her siblings go from desperate to excited with just a few words. "Man, you shoulda seen Debs when he asked if she was going too, I thought Monica coming back would break her, but just like that she was grinning from ear to ear."

"Mickey did that?" Vee asked, still shrouded in disbelief, "Mickey saved the day?"

Kev shrugged his shoulders and continued to stab the toaster with a knife in a bid to prod the wiring back into its correct place, so Vee turned her attention back to her best friend and raised her eyebrows, obviously waiting for the punchline.

"Yeah, I know, hard to believe huh?" Was he response as Fiona restarted her shuffle round the kitchen.

"Are you actually warming up to him..." Veronica asked astoundingly...

"The dirtiest white boy in America!" They both shouted together with a laughter fit to follow.

"I dunno Vee, the kids seem pretty taken with him, Ian loves him, maybe I'm in the wrong here?" She said, her eyes pleading for either advice or assurance, Vee wasn't sure which.

"Well you do have terrible taste in men!" The mother to be blurted out with a seriousness that lasted all of five seconds before another bout of laughter.

Fiona just shook her head and closed her eyes. "I don't want Ian to leave, but I dunno if I should let Mickey stay." She confessed solemnly. "I mean what if he influences the kids, turns em into mini Milkovich's, I mean he's bad news right?" The brown haired woman pleaded for back up.

"Yeah he's a total villain!" Kev announced from where he had given up with the toaster, but was fiercely analysing the knife like it was somehow its fault the DIY operation had been a disaster. "I mean he has a job, he babysits the kids when you need to deal with your psycho part time mum, he stands up to Terry Milkovich to save your brother even though that means he's got no family left, he pays more into your squirrel fund than your brothers do and he's somehow managed to control the demon inside Carl... Total asshole!" The sarcasm seeping from Kev's voice earned him a death glare and kick to the shin from his wife but Fiona just stared, dumbfounded, and a but defensive.

"He's a thug, a bully and a drug dealer," Vee countered, "People pay him... To beat other people up!"

"Yeah, the Gallagher's enlisted him at one point I seem to remember." Another kick to the shin. "Jesus Vee, I'm just saying the guy's trying, he obviously gives a shit about whether Ian lives or dies so cut the kid a break."

As Kev stroked his wounded leg, Veronica turned back to her best friend, who was still lost in thought. Vee gently rested her hand on top of Fiona's and offered her a comforting smile when the Gallagher's pseudo matriarch finally broke her concentration and glanced at her friend and neighbour. "Do you trust him?" Was all Vee asked.

"Ian does, I trust Ian... But..."

"No Fi, I mean do you trust him with Ian? Do you trust him with your little brother?"

"He loves him..." Was all Fiona said before the kitchen door swung open.


	15. Chapter 15

"You fucking lied to me!" Was the shout that followed the slamming open of the door. Mandy paced into the house with her arms flailing and her eyes fixed on the floor.

Lip came next, followed by a smirking Debbie and a delighted Carl, obviously enjoying the confrontation. Ian followed closely behind them and soon after him was an exasperated Mickey. "I didn't fucking lie, I just didn't fucking tell you!"

"That's just as bad!" Mandy retorted, still yelling loud enough to inform the whole neighbourhood that an argument was taking place.

"Like fuck it is," Mickey snorted, "'s'ides, you didn't need to know... Still don't in fact, so let's just pretend like you didn't hear a fucking thing and we can go back to no one knowing shit and every one being god damn quiet for a second!" Mickey all but pleaded, rubbing his hands either side of his forehead in an effort to shake the headache building there.

"What the hell's going on now?" Fiona interrupted before Mandy could speak.

"That piece of shit lied to me AGAIN!" The younger Milkovich screamed, with a dramatic thrust of her arm in Mickey's direction.

"Mands..." Ian offered appeasingly, stepping toward the frantic girl, who just pushed the red head away and continued pacing. "Listen..."

"No fucking way, don't you dare defend him... He said no more secrets!" She shouted at Ian while still ferociously staring at Mickey.

"No I didn't..." Mickey muttered as Ian patted his best friend on the shoulder and tried to smile warmly enough to get her to calm down.

"Hang on," she faultered, "Did you fucking know, did you keep this from me too?"

Mandy turned her fury toward her best friend as an amused Lip settled on the stool in the middle of the kitchen and crossed his arms in mock disgust, "Yeah Ian, did you know about this?"

The red head scorned his brother with a look he sincerely hoped told the older boy to fuck off.

"Know about what?" Fiona yelled to everone and noone in particular.

"Tell me!" Mandy screamed to one very specific person, the young Gallagher stood in front of her, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"He didn't know shit, found out the same as you." Mickey answered for him, nonchalantly like none of this was actually happening, matter of factly, like he was hoping to end the conversation once and for all.

"So he lied to you as well?" She asked incredulously.

Ian shrugged his shoulder's and coyly replied, "He didn't lie Mands, just didn't tell me?" As if the statement were a question that had any answer other than...

"It's the same fucking thing!" The black haired girl screeched, so frustrated that her voice had seemingly risen an octave.

"Before it was 'just as bad', now its the 'same fucking thing', make up your damn mind Mands..." Mickey added sarcastically, light heartedly, unhelpfully.

At this Mandy redirected the entirety of her rage back towards her older brother, stepping forward to try to corner the older boy by the door. But the black haired boy didn't flinch or faulter, he just continued to stare his sister down and occassionally smirk just to rile her up again.

"Can someone tell me what the hell has happened now?" Fiona growled frustradely. She walked around the counter to stand between the Milkovich's and her siblings, arms raised to seperate them, as if they had been the ones on the brink of a fight.

"Something about Mickey lying again?" Vee snorted sarcastically, with a dramatic eye roll for effect, from her seat next to Lip.

Kev silently pleaded with his wife not to start anything, before shifting nervously is his seat, far too close to both the Milkovich's on one side and the Gallagher's on the other. Ian shot his own evils at his neighbour, while Mandy just scoffed and folder her arms, turning back to Mickey as if daring him to explain.

"Someone tell me something!" Fiona demanded after a substancial silence.

"Jesus," Lip relented, "We just found out something about Mickey that we didn't know before, Mandy's just pissed 'cause he didn't tell... Although this reaction is kinda a good argument for why!" The smile off of his face now, Lip sank back onto his stool and shook his head, leaning back on the counter with his eyes, he turned to his red haired brother and offered a warm smile.

Ian returned his brothers gesture, then tapped his older sister on the shoulder to get her attention as Mickey held Mandy back from charging at Lip across the kitchen with clenched fists.

"Fi, it's alright, please just trust me, it's nothing important, he didn't lie. He just said some things to the kids because they needed to hear 'em, then we overheard too and Mandy got upset... But it's really not a big deal. And it's kinda not your business," Ian raised his hands placatingly before his sister could react to that, "And it's not my thing to tell and Mick didn't have to tell anyone in the first place, it really doesn't affect anyone else so please Fi, just don't make this a big deal..." The red head did beg, because he knew how this was going to go. He could see it all now, Fiona's hurt at yet more secrets, more Mickey related drama that she knew would keep on happening. He knew this was just the thing his over protective sister was waiting for to prove that Mickey was no good, to prove that the lies would keep on coming and that the honesty Ian believed they shared was just a pipe dream. And although he could understand why she would think that, he realised what it must look like from her perspective, Ian kept rambling out reasons and plea's of acceptance in the hope that Fiona could in turn understand why that's not the case at all, why it's him that's right and not her.

For her part Fiona just stared. First at her brother, who she's listened to over and over, defending this ex con stood in her kitchen. Who she's listened to Ian make excuses and promises for. This neighbourhood feared thug who's had a whirlwind effect on her family. From his father, who beat her brother half to death, to his brothers, who could try to do the same at any moment, his sister, who was everything she never wanted Debbie to be. To the man himself, Mickey Milkovich, who sorted his problems out with violence, who acted now and rarely thought later, who swore way too much and showered way too little. Who's grown up to worship violence as the only solution and prejudice as the only norm. Fiona stared at Mickey as the cogs ticked in her mind, as the need to protect Ian from any more hurt built up inside of her so strongly that the love she felt for him threatened to explode in a fit of her own form of violence. She stared at Mickey as the dark haired boy stared back and the rest of the room was in silence, looking frantically between the pare. But Mickey's gaze didn't faulter, he held Fiona's damning eyes and fought back against them, the cogs of understanding ticking away within himself as well.

This silent showdown lasted for what seemed like an eternity before Fiona spoke without any emotion, with any change in her features or any distinctive tone in her voice. She spoke sharply and calmly at the same time, three little words said at a volume that all could hear but none could accuse of being threatening... "You should go."

At his sisters words Ian froze. His heart beating loudly in his chest as he immediately prepared for another showdown, the out come he had been dreading but, honestly, didn't think could be avoided. He took a deep breath in as he turned to watch his still silent, still staring lover, facing down his sister with a tenacity that Ian couldn't help but admire.

"You should go..." Fi spoke again when no one else uttered a word, but there was something lighter about her tone now, and after she spoke her eyes left the ex con's and the eldest Gallagher turned to her brother and said again... "You should go."

Ian's eyes scrunched up in confusion as he tried to process his sisters change in target. "What...?" Was all he could gasp out before his voice broke at the prospect pf her hate for Mickey overpowering her love for him. His breathing sped up as looked around the room at all the shocked faces, all faces but Mickeys, who was grinning, wide and honest. Ian blinked back tears as he turned back to his sister with a lump in his throat that threatened to block his next question. "You're kicking me out?"

Mickey immediately moved to Ian's side and turned to face Fiona as her expression softened, let back in the emotion she had seemingly been blocking out for the last few minutes. She smiled a sad smile and her own tears threatened to fall as she replied to her devastated brother. "You're leaving anyway." She remarked.

"Bu..." Ian pleaded, letting out a shocked growl of confusion as he arched his shoulders and looked back around the room. Mickey placed his hand on the small of Ian's back and the younger boy instinctively leaned into the comfort, even though part of him was screaming to fight back, to ask how the hell Mickey can be smiling as Ian loses his family, how he can be happy when he, more than anyone, knows the importance of what losing family means. Ian choked out a sob before Fiona raised her hand to his cheek and smiled another smile, warmer but still full of sadness.

"You're leaving anyway..." She repeated, "I can't change that Ian..." She acknowledged with an acceptance that made the both of them regret all of the space that the passed few weeks had created between them. "What I'm saying is, now... I'm not gonna try." She said warmly.

Mickey's smile grew as Ian still failed to understand.

"Kiddo, I love you," Fiona expanded when she saw the confused faces on those around her hadn't lifted. "I just want what's best for you, you know that right..." She said through tear laden eyes, the question more of a plea for confirmation that Ian knew how important he was, how unconditional her love for him.

"Yeah Fi, I know," Ian managed to reply, his voice breaking as she rubbed a thumb under his eye to catch a stray tear.

"I used to think that was us," she proclaimed, gesturing around the house with her free arm, "Was me," she choked out through a false laugh with a raise of her eyebrows. "God Ian you're so strong, you don't need me!" Fiona raised her other arm so her hands were cuping Ian's cheeks as she puller his forehead to hers and closed her eyes. "I'm not saying I want you to leave Ian, I'm saying I understand..." She laughed another tired laugh, "I guess I'm giving you my permission, even though we both know you don't need it."

Ian brought his hand up to her cheek and Fiona opened her eyes. Hazel orbs stared into brown ones as Ian smiled and said honestly, "I need your blessing."

"Well you have it!" His sister whispered loudly as she pulled Ian into a crushing hug that the red head instantly returned.

A flash of a thank you smile crossed Mickey's face as Fiona looked up from her brother's shoulder, she closed her eyes and nodded, offering the same gesture in return, before pulling away from her brother and grasping his shoulders tightly. "I'm not saying rush," she all but shouted. "God knows what kinda places you would end up in if you don't take your time and save some more..." She part lectured to them, part considered to herself. "So take your time and stay here as long as it takes," that was an order and not a request, "You too," she said firmly to the Milkovich stood behind her brother, that was another order. "You're welcome here."

Mickey nodded again and Ian smiled his blinding smile as he turned to his lover and realised just how smart the ex con could be, he probably knew Fiona had come to this understanding before even she did, Ian rolled his eyes at the thought.

"Right!" Fiona said with a clap, snapping everyone out of their respective dazes, "There is nothing in for dinner so I'm going to the the store, anyone want anything and you got until I put my shoes on to make the list." She announced before turning on her heal and running up the stairs to her bedroom. She stopped in the bathroom to wipe her eyes and as she looked into the mirror to take a few deep calming breaths, Fiona smiled her first real smile of the day. The thoughts flooding through her head were threatening to overpower her but Fiona smiled at her reflection because the feeling that overwhelmed her above any other was the feeling that she had just made the exact decision she was meant to make, that she had finally done the right thing.

Needless to say, when Fiona arrived back at the bottom of the stairs, the kitchen was alive with noise and commotion. Mandy had now replaced Lip on the stool by the kitchen counter. Her arms were crossed and she was staring at her brother with looks that would frighten the life out of anyone else but Mickey. For his part Mickey was just ignoring her, probably knowing something no one else did about his sisters inability to hold a grudge with family. All of the Gallagher's were scrambling round the table with pens and a single piece of paper, trying to cram things into a list that they all knew Fiona would veto half of anyway. Vee was sitting on Kev's lap as he had apparently restarted his quest to fix the toaster, she was not so much helping as she was hiding another of his vast array of unsuitable tools every time he looked away, probably searching for a tool she had already hidden.

Mickey was leaning on the doorway to the living room, content to avoid the hustle and bustle of the kitchen. However, he was not quite as successful in avoiding Liam's attempt getting his attention, the toddler having stumbled over to the black haired boy and pulled on his trouser leg until the Milkovich had finally relented and picked him up with a disgruntled growl. The aggravation seemed to fade as quickly as it hit though, and soon Mickey was smiling while trying to teach the toddler a vast array of things to say, from swear words, to acknowledgments of the ex cons greatness.

Without a word Fiona marched to the table and swooped on the list, picking it up without bothering to look at it and running to the door before anyone could shout out any more rediculous requests, shouting a quick "Love you, be back soon, keep and eye on Kev and that toaster!" Before the door shut behind her.

* * *

"You ok?" Vee asked as she sprinter to catch up with her friend.

"Ummm Yeah," Fiona responded with a smile as she spun to watch Vee approach her.

"You sure? Kinda did a U-Turn back there?" Veronica questioned, full of genuine concern and no judgement.

"You asked if I trust him with my brother? That's what it comes down to right?" Fi responded, turning back around and resuming her mission to the local store. "He's lost everything cause of Ian... FOR Ian... Can't really not trust that can I?"

"Fi..." Veronica started, but didn't have time to finish so much as her friends name.

"No, I'm serious Vee, Mickey's given up everything for Ian, to be with him, to keep him safe... Jesus, never thought I'd say that about Mickey Milkovich!" She laughed. "But it's true and that's more than anyone's done for me, more than Frank or Monica ever did for each other. Hell even you and Kev..."

With that Vee shoved her friend and threw her her best 'what the fuck expression?'. But Fiona just smiled and shoved back, "Vee I know you would give up every thing for him, god knows you've made sacrifices I don't think I ever could, and he'd do the same for you, but the fact is you've never had to give up as much as Mickey has, and like I said I don't think I'd ever be able to give up my family for someone, no matter how much I love him."

"He who you want Ian to end up with?" Vee asked with a seriousness that wiped the smiles of both of their faces.

"Yeah," Fi said after only a few moments hesitation, "Yeah I could get used to that idea."

"Get used to?" Vee questioned again, obviously pushing for more certainty.

"Baby steps Vee!" Fione responded with a smile and another small shove.

Veronice smiled back and nodded her head as her best friend continued to convince both herself and her neighbour that she's doing the right thing.

"I mean, like Kev said, he's making a hell of an effort, he obviously loves Ian, the kids love him, they'll never get bullied again with him as their own personal bodyguard," She laughed, linking arms with her best friend as they all but skipped down the round, a bounce in both their steps that wasn't their before. "And god, I thought I had it tough growing up, but can you imagine what it was like having Terry as a father and that skank whore of a woman for a mum?"

"Oh my god, you remember when she tried to sleep with Kev to pay off her bar tab?" Vee interrupted, adrenaline pumping again just through the memory.

"I remember you knocking two of her teeth out and her just laughing, saying she'd be able to give better head without her teeth anyway!"

"Yeah that and she wouldn't even need to open her mouth to pop her pills now, just tilt back her head and throw 'em through the gap!"

"Well Mickey survived growing up with that so I'm pretty sure he can survive anything." Fi offered, returning the subject to something more current, a smile still on her face from the memory of her best friend defending her husbands honour in front of a bar full of jeering men, seconds after two men their to carry out an impromptu health and safety inspection had just ID'd themselves to Kev. A fun situation to get out that turned out to be.

"Even Ian's overbearing, incredibly protective family? I heard his sister especially can be a real bitch," Vee joked happily, earning her a thump to the shoulder and a "Fuck you!" from Fi.

"I don't know if I'll ever actually LIKE Mickey," Fi conceded, "But I don't have to," she acknowledged, "I just gotta like what he does for Ian!"


End file.
